


Up in the Stars

by haikukitten



Series: Home Life [2]
Category: Legion of Superheroes
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-03
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikukitten/pseuds/haikukitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryn Dox is finally 15, old enough to follow in his big brother's footsteps and join the Legion of Superheroes. But can he handle the job? Or will he have to give up his dream and move back to Smallville? Sequel to Home Life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reintroduction

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the sequel to my other story, Home Life. You'll really need to read that story to understand what's going on in this one. Also, more warnings will be added to this story as they come up, so please keep your eyes open for warning changes.

**Chapter 1: Reintroduction**

 _Let me reintroduce myself_

 _As a man with a cause_

 _I’ve had a lot of time to think_

 _And look at who we are_

 _And I’ve got nothing left to say_

 _But we’ve got to carry on_

 _And I’ve got so much left to do_

 _But I’ll start with this song_

 **  
_-Cartel, “Let’s Go”_   
**

Galoshes slosh through creek water. Ryn has set up various traps in the creek for specimens to add to his already rather substantial collection. He pauses and crouches down to peer into a trap, noting with pleasure that he’s managed to catch a few of the native crayfish. The tiny, harmless invertebrates are excellent subjects for various experiments; nothing harmful, of course. His big brother long ago made it clear that abuse of any living thing in the name of science is never acceptable.

Sammy, his faithful hound and almost constant shadow, growls suddenly. Ryn looks up, his eyes narrowing as he reaches over to ruffle his dog’s fur. Just as suddenly, Sammy settles down and Ryn rolls his eyes knowingly.

“Grace, you are not supposed to follow me,” he calls out as he straightens, putting a hand on his hip. “You might as well show yourself – you know you’ve never gotten past Sammy.”

Grace materializes, partially hidden behind a tree. The eleven year-old pouts at him, her lower lip sticking out. She’s almost the mirror image of her father, Lyle Norg, with her wavy brown hair that curls around her face, and her big brown eyes. The only difference is the light green skin color she inherited from her mother.

“Why do you get to come out here but I don’t?” Grace demands, wrinkling her nose unhappily. “I want to explore too. It’s not fair.”

“You’re too young,” Ryn says firmly, and kindly refrains from adding that Grace has no sense of self-preservation or the ability to pick her battles. It’s not that Grace isn’t smart – in fact, she’s brilliant. But Grace doesn’t look before she leaps. Ryn doesn’t trust her out in the wilderness.

Maybe he’s being a little overprotective. She’s his baby sister, after all.

“Don’t you have school today?” he questions her as he hoists his crayfish trap out of the water. “What are you doing still at home?”

“It’s Saturday, genius,” Grace reminds him. “I don’t go to school on the weekends, duh.”

“Oh, right.” Ryn shrugs his shoulders. Okay, yes, it’s true that he should probably have known that. But honestly, he rarely even keeps track of what day of the week it is, let alone when Grace is supposed to be at school. His mind is preoccupied with other things. “How’s eighth grade?”

“I’m in tenth grade, they moved me up.” Grace looks highly miffed that Ryn could get such a detail wrong. “Remember?”

“You know I don’t.” With his crayfish trap in hand, Ryn heads back the way he came. “Come on, then, I’m going back to the barn. You might as well stick with me.”

Grace hurries to follow him, slipping one small hand under Sammy’s color to hold onto the dog for a little extra help keeping up with Ryn. Her legs are shorter than his since he’s grown to 5’6” tall, and she’s still not five feet tall herself.

“Who’s going to take care of your animals when you’re gone?” she asks. “You can’t take them all with you, can you?”

“Mom and Dad can watch them for me,” Ryn replies. He refers to their parents as “Mom” and “Dad” only for Grace’s benefit; to him, they’re just Lyle and Querl. “You can look after them too if you want to. But you have to be careful with my experiments.”

His sister falls silent for the rest of the hike back to the barn. Only when they get there does Ryn turn to look at Grace, and he finds her staring glumly at her shoes.

“Hey, something wrong?” he asks her in surprise. “What’s the matter, Gracie?”

She looks up at him, her lower lip trembling. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“Hey… I’ll still visit, and I’ll call home all of the time.” Ryn sets his trap down and holds out his arms to his sister. “Don’t cry, okay?”

In an instant, his arms are full of his sister and she is hugging him as tightly as she can. “But I’m going to miss you, Rynnie.”

It breaks his heart that she doesn’t want him to leave. But it’s not going to change his mind either. He’s waited too long for this opportunity. In one week, he’s going to try out for the Legion of Superheroes. He’s pretty much certain he’ll get in, given his credentials. And once he gets in, he’ll move to Legion World, away from his family.

Being in the Legion has always been his dream. Now, at fifteen years old, he’s finally old enough to try out.

Querl hates the whole thing, of course, but he won’t deny Ryn his dream. And Lyle is worried but proud that Ryn wants to follow in their footsteps. Grace, however, doesn’t understand it at all and doesn’t like it. She’s used to Ryn always being around, and now he’s leaving.

“I have to, Gracie.” Ryn kisses the top of his sister’s head. “This is my dream.”

“Sammy will miss you,” Grace persists. She nudges Sammy, who licks her hand, but doesn’t otherwise respond. “Why can’t you stay here and be a superhero?”

“That’s not how it works,” Ryn explains. “I have to go to Legion World. It’s sort of like… going off to a private school. But we’ll still get to see each other.”

He doesn’t like to see Grace upset, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Grace pulls away from the hug, sniffling and wiping at the corners of her eyes. She doesn’t understand, but she’ll only object so much. After all, she knows better than anyone that once Ryn puts his mind to something, he never gives up.

“You’ll call me?” she asks hopefully. “Every evening?”

“Uh, I’ll do my best, unless I can’t get away from work,” Ryn promises. He imagines that being a superhero, he’ll have other obligations to attend to some evenings that will keep him from being able to call home.

This seems to satisfy Grace for the time being. Her tears dry and she is content to help Ryn set up a new tank for his latest pets. The barn has been Ryn’s laboratory for years now. Over time, he’s been able to set up a sterile room in the back for his most delicate experiments. The main part of the barn is full of tanks and cages where Ryn keeps his specimens.

He’s found that studying life forms is one of the most fascinating areas of research. Even though he’s only fifteen, he’s already made some breakthrough discoveries (which helped him fund his transformation of the barn). Mostly, though, he loves animals and it was no leap of logic to start working with them.

In the loft, he has a telescope set up for watching the stars, another passion of his. There’s also a couch and a couple of chairs. It’s sort of like his second bedroom (or maybe even his main bedroom, considering how much time he spends out here).

“Can I play with the mice?” Grace asks. She has long been fascinated by the furry little mammals that Ryn likes to collect. Ryn is careful to keep the wild specimens well out of his sister’s reach, because she’s been bitten by them before. Now, Ryn always has plenty of tame mice and rats in his menagerie, just for Grace.

“Just don’t lose them, and don’t try to pick up that sable one in pen #8, I just caught him and I think he’s got some sort of parasite,” Ryn replies absently as he perfects an artificial environment for his new crayfish.

He notes with delight that he has captured a couple of mature females this time around, in addition to several males, both mature and adolescent. The females have always been a little difficult to find, so Ryn is always pleased when he happens upon some of them.

It’s just too bad he won’t have much more time with his animals. He can’t feasibly take them all with him to Legion World, so they’ll have to stay here. Querl has promised to keep an eye on his experiments for him, and Lyle swears to take the utmost care of his specimens. Ryn knows that they’re in safe hands. Still, he’s going to miss them.

Sammy nudges Ryn’s hand for attention, so Ryn kneels down and lovingly scratches his dog behind the ears. Since he was little, Sammy has been his most loyal friend. He never did master Interlac as Ryn had hoped when he was a little kid, but now it seems like he and Sammy have their own language almost. They communicate with each other easily.

“You’ll take care of Gracie for me, won’t you?” he asks the dog. Sammy gazes back at him solemnly. “Of course you will. Just don’t let her get into any trouble, okay?”

It’s been a good life here in Smallville with Querl and Lyle. It hasn’t all been sunshine and roses, but Ryn’s always known that he’s loved here. He’s pretty sure that there’s nowhere else in the universe where he and Grace would be allowed to live such a perfect childhood. Here on the old Kent farm, there’s plenty of space for the Dox heirs to learn and grow.

But now it’s time for the next step. Ryn has always been certain that what he wants, more than anything, is to give back to the universe like his parents did. This is his destiny and he’s ready for it, even if it means leaving his family behind.

“Are you talking to your dog again?” Grace demands when she comes back over with a small spotted mouse in her hands. She regards Ryn with one eyebrow arched.

Ryn pats Sammy’s head once more before standing back up. “I expect you to be the one to talk to him while I’m gone, Grace,” he reminds her. “Remember – you’ve got to treat all forms of life with respect. If you ever lose sight of that, you’ll stop giving to the universe and only take from it.”

“You sound like Mom,” his sister replies, rolling her eyes. But she smiles. “Don’t worry; Sammy’s always been better conversation than most people.”

“I was just telling Sammy that he has to keep all the boys away,” Ryn continues. “Absolutely no dating until you’re my age, are we clear?”

“Come on, Rynnie, you don’t date _now_ ,” Grace reminds him. “Besides, I’m smarter than all the boys in my class, even though they’re all your age.”

“Gracie, you’re smarter than all your _teachers_.” Ryn laughs and wraps an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s go get some lunch. I’m starving.”

In the kitchen, Ryn makes sandwiches for himself and Grace. Querl’s at work today and Lyle’s in the study working on some big project. Weekends in this house usually mean Ryn and Grace look out for themselves. Their parents are wonderful people, but Querl’s clinic takes up most of his time and Lyle is one of the most coveted computer programmers in the business. Since Ryn and Grace are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, they’re usually left to their own devises.

“It’s going to be boring here without you,” Grace complains between mouthfuls of ham and cheese. “What am I supposed to do to keep myself occupied?”

“You have friends,” Ryn replies with a shrug. “Go out and do stuff. Watch movies, go shopping, you know, stuff.”

Grace huffs and leans against the counter. “When I’m old enough, can I be in the Legion with you?”

“That’s four years from now,” Ryn reminds her, frowning. “I don’t know, Gracie, you’ll have to ask Mom and Dad about that. You know Mom doesn’t even want me to do it.”

“Mom’s such an old fart sometimes,” Grace complains crossly. “If you can be in the Legion, I should get to be in it too, right? Come on, Ryn, it’s not fair.”

“I don’t make the rules,” Ryn replies stubbornly. “You have to ask Mom. It’s his call.”

He knows better than to think Querl would agree to Grace joining the Legion without a major war. Lyle has always been okay with Ryn joining, but Ryn’s not sure he’d be so okay with Grace doing so. Everyone is more protective of Grace. She’s the youngest, she’s the girl, and most importantly, she’s the baby.

“What are you going to do in the Legion?” Grace asks. “Like, just be super smart? They don’t have a smart kid in the Legion right now, right?”

“They had a kid from Colu a couple of years ago,” Ryn replies. “But he quit really fast. Everybody says the Coluans are going to break off from the U.P. soon. Besides, even a Coluan can’t handle Mom’s old laboratory. Mom says there’re only four people he knows who could do it.”

“You, me, him, and Dad,” Grace says with a grin.

“That’s right.” Ryn shares her grin. “That’s why Mom and Dad think it’s pretty much guaranteed that I’ll be accepted. I can operate the lab – Mom’s been training me for it. Plus, Dad’s been giving me combat training, so I can handle a fight.”

This makes Grace’s face fall. “Are you going to have to fight very often? I thought if you worked in the lab, you wouldn’t have to do away missions.”

“Legion is hands on,” Ryn replies. “Mom used to do away missions. Actually, they needed him on a lot of away missions. Apparently a genius is always useful to have around.”

“Who would have thought?” Grace jokes, but she still looks worried.

It is kind of getting on Ryn’s nerves that his sister isn’t being more supportive. It isn’t his job to keep her occupied, he isn’t her father. Hell, he isn’t even really her brother.

As soon as he thinks _that_ , he regrets it and is immensely grateful that Grace isn’t a telepath like their cousin Graym is. It isn’t a fair thought, and he’d never say it out loud. In every way that matters, Grace is Ryn’s little sister and he should never wish otherwise.

“I’ll try to stay out of the really dangerous stuff,” he offers to try and cheer her up. “I probably won’t get to go on many missions until I’m older, anyway.”

Grace is quiet for a few moments, but then she looks over at him and stares straight into his eyes. “What if it’s not what you think it’s going to be, Ryn? What if it’s really awful and you get hurt and Mom and Dad aren’t there to make it better? What if something happens to you and… and I’m not there?”

“Gracie…” Ryn sighs and shakes his head. “It’s dangerous, okay? I’ve always known that. But… Mom and Dad were heroes. Uncle Garth and Aunt Imra, Uncle Rokk, Aunt Jazmin, Aunt Ayla and Aunt Vi… They were all heroes. And when I was little, they were my heroes. They’re still my heroes. I have to live up to them, don’t you see?”

“Not really.” Grace drops her sandwich back on her plate and looks away from him. “They’re my heroes too. But I don’t like it when any of them get hurt. And I’ll hate it if you get hurt.”

Of course Grace doesn’t get it. She’s never been where Ryn has been; she’s never felt helpless and hopeless and vulnerable. No one’s ever raised a hand to Grace, and if Ryn has anything to say about it, no one ever will. So why should he expect her to understand?

“It’s just something I have to do,” he says firmly. “Everything is going to be okay. Don’t worry about me. Just do all your studies and… be a doctor, like Mom. You know it’s what he wants.”

“He wants you to be safe too,” Grace says bluntly. “You’re acting like you’re less important somehow, and you know it’s not true. You’re their son.”

 _No, I’m not_ , Ryn thinks to himself. But he just shrugs and takes another bite of his sandwich.

\--

Grace is beautiful, like her father. She will always look young for her age, with gorgeous brown curls and chocolate eyes. But that’s where the similarity to Lyle Norg ends. Grace is keenly aware of the fact that half of her is different; half of her is not politically acceptable.

That part of her is the part that makes her so much smarter than every person in her classroom, including the teacher presuming to teach Grace about simple math she’d more than mastered by the age of five. More importantly, though, it’s the part of her that makes her _green_.

Mom would be upset if he knew what Grace thinks to herself when she’s at school; when she can feel her classmates’ eyes on her, disapproving and critical. Grace hates school. She hates feeling like a freak. And Mom wouldn’t understand; doesn’t understand that. He’s always so completely confident and so _proud_ of being a _Brainiac_. Ryn’s the same way. They wear their green skin like it’s a medal of honor.

But Grace knows better. It’s not a medal of honor – it might as well be a scarlet letter. People look at Grace and Ryn, and even Mom, and they see demons. That’s a fact of life.

So why her parents bothered giving her the name Norg is beyond her. Everyone who looks at her can see plain as day that she’s a Dox.

She slams her locker shut and then leans against it wearily. In a few days, Ryn is leaving to join the Legion. Well, probably. Saturday is tryouts, and Ryn is most likely going to be accepted, and then the only person who could possibly understand how Grace feels will be gone.

“Why the long face, Grace?” A classmate who’d like to be a friend, Joan, leans against the locker beside hers and cracks a smile. He’s a tall, sandy-haired human and actually not a complete moron. Grace tolerates him mostly because he sometimes reminds her of her older brother.

Today is not a good day. Grace resists the urge to use the gift she inherited from her father and just melt out of sight. “I don’t want to talk about it, Joan.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t look so obviously glum in public,” says Joan. He arches an eyebrow at her. “Come on, Grace. You can tell me about it.”

“My brother’s leaving next week,” Grace replies sharply. She looks up at him, expression carefully blank. “It’s what he wants, I guess. Now I’ll be all alone here.”

Joan clutches his heart in mock pain. “Ouch, that hurts. What am I, chopped liver?”

He might as well be, in Grace’s opinion. Actually, liver wouldn’t talk so much, so it would probably be an improvement. “He’s joining the Legion.”

“Well, that’s not a sure thing.” Joan tries to smile at her reassuringly. “You have to try out for that.”

“You know who my parents are, right?” Grace demands, because she knows that Joan is not quite as stupid as he pretends to be. “Of course he’ll get in. He’s even smarter than I am.”

“Probably just as street smart, though, and I think self defense is required,” Joan says, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve met your brother, Grace. I could throw him over my shoulder and carry him.”

It’s true that Joan has met Ryn. Actually, he’s always seemed rather interested in Ryn, even though he’s supposed to be Grace’s friend. But that’s the way it usually goes. Grace is only eleven, no matter how smart she is, and all the kids who can carry on a conversation with her are still too mature to want to actually hang out with her.

“What does it take to get into the Legion, anyway?” Joan asks.

“Skill,” Grace replies flatly. “I don’t think they’ll let you in for having the highest Mario score in your local high school.”

“That’s a skill,” Jorn objects with a frown. He scuffs his shoe against the floor. “Tell your brother I wish him luck, alright? He might remember who I am.”

“Probably not,” Grace says, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll tell him, though.”

She shoulders her backpack and walks to the bus stop, thinking about why Joan always asks questions about Ryn, and about how Ryn never even remembers who Joan is whenever Grace relays a message from her friend to her brother. _Lost cause, Joan,_ she thinks to herself. _The only thing Ryn’s interested in is being in that stupid Legion._

The bus drops her off at the clinic and she shuffles into the waiting room, where she flops down in a chair. She takes out her handheld game system and entertains herself with shooting alien ships out of a digital sky, trying to take her mind off of other matters.

Mom always forgets what time it is, so Grace has been there twenty minutes before he comes out, looking sheepish. He catches her gaze, and she regards him quietly over the top of her game.

He comes over and sits down beside her, still dressed in blue scrubs. “Hey, Princess,” he greets. “You look upset.”

Grace nods and shuts off her game. “School was annoying.”

“I’d like for you to finish up this year,” Mom replies. “If you can do that, we’ll take you out of school and you can start taking online classes.”

“I don’t want Ryn to leave.” It just sort of slips out of her mouth before Grace can stop herself.

Mom looks shocked for a moment before he schools his expression. “Neither do I, Grace. But this is what he wants. How am I supposed to tell him he can’t?”

“I don’t know, you’re supposed to be the smartest person in the universe, right?” Grace shoves the game into her backpack. “I’m sure you could think of something if you really tried. Maybe he’s right. Maybe you don’t care as much about him as you do about me, since he’s not really your kid.”

“Grace… Why would you say that?” Mom’s expression is stricken. “I love your brother just as much as I love you. Ryn doesn’t think I don’t care about him, does he?”

She feels guilty for making her mother upset. It isn’t fair of her to take her frustration out on him, anyway. “He just… acts like he’s expendable, sometimes.”

“He’s not. I don’t want him to join the Legion, Grace, and I never have. But he’s old enough to decide what he wants. More than that, he’s smart enough.”

“So, if I want to join the Legion, will you let me?” Grace demands, because if that’s the way it works for Ryn then it should be the same for her. “I’m just as smart as he is. When I’m fifteen, can I join too?”

As predicted, Mom shuts down. His face might as well be made of stone for all the emotion he shows on it. “You’re too young to be worrying about this right now. We’ll talk when you’re fifteen.”

“If I want in, I have to start training now, like Ryn did,” Grace persists stubbornly. “I want you to teach me how to operate the laboratory. You taught Ryn. I could join and help him. No one in the Legion is going to understand him, Mom. You know that.”

The older Coluan’s expression gentles a little at that. “That’s part of growing up, Gracie. You forget that I was drafted into the Legion at Ryn’s age. I didn’t even want to be there, and everyone treated me like I was one of the bad guys at first. But we all grew, and we learned to appreciate each other. I made friends. I met your father. Ryn already has an advantage that I didn’t have – he knows he can come back to his family any time he wants to, and we’ll welcome him home.”

“So, why can’t I join, if it was so great?” Grace pushes, determined. “I should get to join too.”

“We’ll talk about it later, with your father,” Mom replies, his mouth pressing into a thin, unhappy line. He’s never very good with stuff like this, and he prefers to have Dad handle most of it. Dad’s much more down to Earth, so to speak. He’s a better mediator.

The ride home is quiet and tense. Mom keeps looking over at Grace, as though he’s trying to puzzle out why Grace would be mad at him. Despite the tough façade, Mom’s actually very sensitive and it’s easy for him to get his feelings hurt.

When the cruiser pulls into their drive, Grace is out before Mom even shuts the cruiser off. She moodily stomps up the walk to the house and lets the screen door slam shut behind her.

Her brother sits cross-legged on the couch, playing a video game. He looks up when he hears the door and he smiles at Grace. “Hey, Gracie, how was school?”

 Ryn is the mirror image of Mom. He’s short and skinny, though muscular since he’s been training for the Legion, and his cropped blond hair is the exact same shade as Mom’s hair. His green eyes are only a little darker in color.

This is because Ryn is not actually Grace’s brother. Ryn is Mom’s younger brother, so he’s technically Grace’s uncle. But he has always called Grace his little sister, and Mom and Dad call Ryn her big brother.

What scares Grace is that Ryn is like Mom; he’s vulnerable. He’s not half Norg like Grace is, and he doesn’t have someone like Dad to protect him like Mom does. So Grace has long since appointed herself as her brother’s keeper. Now he’s going where Grace can’t protect him and she’s afraid for him.

“It was obnoxious,” Grace replies, dropping her backpack on the floor. “Joan said to wish you good luck.”

“Joan?” Ryn asks. He pauses the game and looks at her expectantly. “Who is Joan, again?”

“Tall kid with brownish-blond hair, gray eyes,” Grace says, sitting down on the couch as she takes off her shoes. “He came to my birthday party last year and wanted to see your laboratory.”

A faint spark of recognition shows in Ryn’s eyes. “Oh, yes, that one. I’ve always found it a bit odd that he shows any interest in me.”

“He thinks you’re cute,” Grace supplies, because her brother is dense as a block of cheddar cheese sometimes. “You know, like, he wants to date you?”

The smile drops from Ryn’s face and he looks uncomfortable. “Really? Well, that’s… I can’t imagine why he’d want _that_.”

“Because he’s a boy, and that’s what they all want, except for you.” Grace snuggles up to her brother and rests her head against his shoulder. “You’ve never told me if you like boys or girls better.”

“I’ve never met a boy or a girl who held my attention long enough for me to decide,” Ryn says. “Except there was one girl I met – years ago – and I’ve never really forgotten about her. But I haven’t seen her since we were both tiny.”

“Oh yeah?” Grace asks, not sure she believes it. “How old were you?”

“Four years old,” her brother replies. “It was at Mom and Dad’s wedding. She was the only other kid my age. Her name was Lauren and we danced together all night.”

The dreamy expression on his face tells Grace that her brother is caught up in the memory of that event. It must have been nice if it has stuck with him for so long. Ryn’s memory is excellent, but so is his ability to lock away things he doesn’t want to think about.

“Okay, but are you really telling me you’ve never been interested in someone since then?” Grace asks dubiously. “I mean, you’re a guy. Don’t all guys think about sex all the time?”

Ryn actually flinches at that and frowns. “Sex is… of little interest to me. I’m sorry, Grace, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not something I like to talk about.”

One more mystery, Grace thinks, added to the whole catalogue of mysteries about her family that she’s accumulated over the years. There are things that must have happened before she was born that no one has ever told her about. For instance, there’s the distant look Mom gets sometimes, like he’s stuck in the middle of two dimensions and isn’t sure which one is real.

And then there’s her grandmother, who no one ever speaks of. Grace knows that Brainiac 4 is held at Takron Galtos, the super prison, but she doesn’t know why and there’s barely any information about the woman to be found. “Brainiac 4” is a name that no one ever brings up in this house.

But she lets this mystery slide for the time being. As much as she longs for answers, she doesn’t want to hurt her brother by pushing him too far. So she just sighs and falls silent. Ryn waits a moment, and then turns his game back on when Grace doesn’t speak again.

There’s probably a reason for all the mysteries, anyway. Mom and Ryn are two of the smartest people in the universe. If they don’t want Grace to know what happened before she was born, it isn’t Grace’s place to force them to tell her.

Besides, this is her last week with her big brother. After this, he’ll be gone. So she doesn’t want to mess this week up. If she’s going to lose her brother on Saturday, she wants to enjoy the time she has left with him.

TBC


	2. Ready for It

**Chapter 2: Ready for It**

_You’ve got these little things, you wanted something for ‘em_

_You’ll either get it or I guess you won’t_

_What does it really mean to get nothing from anyone?_

_There’s a million ways it could go._

_So tell me right now, you think you’re ready for it?_

_I wanna know why you got me going_

_So let’s go, we’ll take it outta here_

_I think I’m ready to leave, I’m ready to live_

**  
_-Panic! At the Disco, “Ready to Go”_   
**

This is not the first time that Ryn has been to Legion World. Actually, he’s been here several times over the years, and he’s fairly familiar with the layout at this point. That’s in part due to the fact that he poured over the blueprints of the artificial planet when he was a kid, obsessed with knowing everything he could about the Legion.

This time, the Legion is more crowded. Legion tryouts are always a big time of the year, and usually only a few kids are selected to join the Legion ranks, but this year there are more spaces open than there have been in years past. Many of the older Legionnaires have officially retired in the last few years, meaning that there’s room now for a younger generation to take the lead.

Mr. Brande meets them when they arrive on the planet. Everyone says Mr. Brande is getting older, but they’ve always been saying that, since Ryn was a little kid, and Mr. Brande doesn’t look like he’s aged a day. Ryn is highly suspicious of this, but no one can explain it, it seems. So no one tries to, not even Querl and Lyle.

“Querl, my boy!” Mr. Brande always greets Querl first, because Querl is actually his adopted ward. “It’s good to see your family here today! My, how the little ones have grown! Are you trying out for the Legion today, Ryn?”

He claps Ryn on the shoulder fondly and reaches into his pocket to take out a peppermint candy, which he discreetly hands to Grace.

“Gracie, you’re as beautiful as ever,” the old man says cheerfully. “You’re here to give your brother moral support, I suppose? What a good sister. You’re a lucky boy, Ryn.”

Grace pops the peppermint into her mouth and shrugs her shoulders. She insisted on coming, but she hasn’t been at all cheerful about it. Sometimes Grace really reminds Ryn of Querl – and not in good ways.

“Do you think I have a good shot of getting in, Mr. Brande?” Ryn asks hopefully. He can’t help how excited he is. This is the day he has been waiting for since he was three years old.

Mr. Brande laughs and nods his head. “Most certainly, my boy, it would be a foolish move to reject the son of two of the most famous Legionnaires. Of course, they’ll have high expectations for you. But you won’t disappoint us, will you?”

“No sir. I’ve been training and Querl has taught me how to operate the lab.” Ryn tries to swallow his nerves. “Plus, I’ve been doing field work since I was a kid, so I’m like a portable laboratory, really.”

“Smart boy,” Mr. Brande praises. “But I always told your brother this, so I’ll tell you too. Being smart and acting smart are two different things. Exercise common sense, even when that brain of yours wants you to bypass something so trivial. Common sense can save your life.”

Ryn nods solemnly. This is something Querl and Lyle have been adamant about since he was small, and he feels well prepared in that regard.

“Alright, then, why don’t we see about getting you a uniform?” says Mr. Brande. “Everyone gets a uniform when they try out. That way, even if they’re rejected, they can keep training and try out again when they’re better prepared.”

There are lots of young people standing in line for uniforms, so it takes a couple of hours before it is finally Ryn’s turn. Querl and Grace split off to go and check in for tryouts, while Lyle stays behind with Ryn and Mr. Brande.

Lyle says that when he and Querl first joined the Legion, everyone had to wear trans-suits, invisible coverings that allowed them to fight in foreign terrain without being damaged by environmental hazards. He lifts his hand to show off his wedding ring.

“Querl and I changed that,” he says proudly. “The flight rings do all of that now.”

The first image presented to Ryn for consideration looks so much like Querl’s old uniform that Ryn frowns and immediately shakes his head. “I’m Brainiac 6, not Brainiac 5,” he tries to explain. “Purple isn’t really my color. Let’s try… can you change the purple to blue and the black to green? And put the Brainiac symbol on the chest, in blue. Also, I need heavier boots. I do a lot of outdoors work, so I need good boots and a utility belt.”

The strange little creatures doing the designing immediately take Ryn’s suggestions and have the uniform altered in a matter of minutes. They present him with the new image, as per his request.

A grin spreads across Ryn’s face as he looks the uniform over. “This is it,” he says, nodding. “I can have this one?”

It turns out that he can, but the new boots and utility belt will take more time. He’s given a pair of slim green boots for the time being. As he changes into his new uniform, custom-made in a matter of minutes, he notes that if fits him perfectly. He steps out of the dressing room, feeling like he’s really Brainiac 6 for the first time in his life.

Lyle’s jaw drops. “Ryn? Wow, do you look like your brother or what? I mean, you always have, but…”

“Isn’t it awesome?” Ryn asks delightedly. He puts his hands on his hips. “Brainiac 6, at your service.”

“Querl is going to flip,” Lyle says, laughing. “You look great, Ryn. You look… like you’re actually ready for this, kid. I’m so proud of you.”

Ryn embraces his adopted father, still grinning. “Lyle, this is all working out just the way I dreamed it would. I’m going to be a Legionnaire!”

“Still got tryouts, though,” Lyle reminds him, ruffling Ryn’s hair. “But I don’t know how they could turn you down.”

When they meet back up with Querl and Grace, even Grace’s bad mood doesn’t keep her from gushing over Ryn’s new uniform. For his part, Querl looks Ryn’s uniform over thoroughly before shrugging his shoulders.

“You don’t like purple?” the older Coluan asks.

“It’s kind of your color, bro,” Ryn replies with a wry smile. “This is… this is me.”

Querl reaches out and touches the symbol on Ryn’s chest that matches the discs on his forehead. “You chose to wear this?” he asks, surprised.

“It’s part of who I am.” Ryn takes his brother’s hand and squeezes it in reassurance. “I’m proud of who I am, Querl. I’m proud of who you are.”

“Brainy, Lyle, over here!” Ayla Ranzz’s voice calls out from across the main hall. “Oh my Grife, Ryn, look at you!”

Ayla and Salu are both dressed in civilian clothes, since they retired from the Legion shortly after Grace was born. Apparently it was a surprise to many Legionnaires when Spark and Leviathan announced plans for marriage. Only a few of their closest friends and family had known that their relationship was anything beyond friendship. It came as no surprise to Ryn, however, since Querl and Lyle were two of the close friends let in on the secret.

What _was_ a surprise, though, was when, shortly after marrying and moving to Winath, the two had adopted a boy about Ryn’s age. When Ayla had called in to tell the Dox-Norg family about the development, she’d joked lightly to Querl when she thought Ryn couldn’t hear that having super villains for family members seemed to result in as many displaced children as it did in diabolical plans for taking over the universe.

As it turned out, Marc Ranzz took after his father and had no twin. His mother had given him up at birth, but on Winath no one had wanted to adopt a single child. The Ranzz family hadn’t even known that Marc existed until Ayla and Salu had begun looking into adopting a child, and a boy with Ayla’s last name had been brought to their attention. Ayla had recognized her nephew immediately by the shock-white hair on his head and the scowl on his face, she said.

Everyone had expected Ryn and Marc to hit it off, for some reason, but Ryn actually didn’t get along with Marc at all. The other boy was too impulsive and prone to losing his temper (a trait of the Ranzz family, apparently, made worse by living the first five years of his life in limbo).

Marc follows his adoptive mothers at a distance, looking bored. His uniform for tryouts is solid red with forest green boots and gloves, and two white lightning bolts meet on the center of his chest to form a starburst. When he sees Ryn, he smirks.

“What’s up, little green man?” the Winathian greets, raising one hand. “Come to show us all your amazing ability to solve complex equations in your head?”

Ryn folds his arms across his chest and stands up to his full height, which is still about a head shorter than Marc. He refuses to let himself be bullied by this thick-headed idiot. “Marc, I see your attitude is not much changed since our last meeting. Nonetheless, I wish you the best of luck in the tryouts.”

“The name is _Shockwave_ now,” Marc corrects him.

“Okay.” Ryn holds a hand out to Marc. “Nice to meet you, Shockwave. I’m Brainiac 6.”

To his surprise, Marc grasps his hand in a firm grip and nods. “Have you seen the rest of this crew? We’re the best candidates, by far. Well, us and Laurie.”

“Laurie?” Ryn asks.

“Lauren Vidar. Over there, in the white.” Marc points to a girl some feet away whose white leotard comes down to mid-thigh, modest when compared to what most of the other girls present are wearing. The leotard is decorated with golden pinpoint stars, a bit like looking at the constellations on a blank background.

Immediately, Ryn recognizes her. Her pale blonde hair, wavy and long, takes him back eleven years in a heartbeat. She’s all grown up but Ryn knows that Lauren Vidar is the same girl who danced with him when they were both small.

“Laurie, come over here!” Marc calls out to the girl, beckoning for her to come over to where they are. “Come and meet Ryn!”

Laurie smiles when she hears Marc call for her and turns to face them. Her eyes, bright blue, take up most of her face. Ryn’s mouth is dry as he watches the girl hurry over to them.

When Laurie reaches them and gets a good look at Ryn, her face lights up. “Oh, I know you! One of your dads used to have a thing for my mom! We were at their wedding!”

“He’s not my dad, actually, he’s my big brother,” Ryn corrects, but he’s so excited that Laurie actually recognizes him. “You and I danced together.”

“Yes, I remember!” Delighted, Laurie grasps Ryn’s hand in hers. “Ryn Dox, right? I’m Laurie Vidar. What’s your codename, Ryn?”

“Brainiac 6,” he says proudly. “It’s in honor of my big brother. What’s yours?”

“Vega,” Laurie replies. “Stars are kind of a tradition, since my mom was Andromeda. I’m half Daxamite, so I’m super strong.”

“Super smart,” Ryn says, tapping his head. “I have a 12th level intelligence.”

Querl clears his throat suddenly, causing Ryn to look over at him. Excusing himself, Ryn leaves Laurie and Marc to chat and follows his brother.

“Careful of that one,” Querl says. He glances over at Laurie knowingly. “And don’t try to tell me there’s nothing to worry about. I was your age once. And it just so happens that _her_ mother had me tripping over my own feet every time she walked by.”

Ryn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but that was you. I’m not going to fall head over heels for some girl just because she’s gorgeous.”

“Boys do silly things,” Querl says firmly. “I did plenty of them myself. I’m just saying; it’s great to make friends but try not to fall in love too often.”

 It sounds like nonsense, but Ryn keeps his brother’s words in mind as he goes back to rejoin Laurie and Marc. Marc is chattering excitedly about how the three of them are going to blow the rest of the competition out of the water. Apparently there are five slots open this year, and hundreds of kids trying out for those positions.

“Everyone knows Brainiac 6 is going on through,” Marc says, much to Ryn’s relief. “The Legion lab hasn’t been up and really running since Brainiac 5 and Invisible Kid retired.”

“Maybe I’ll give you a run for your money, Ryn,” says Laurie cheerfully. “My dad’s one of the pioneers of time travel, you know. He used to work with your brother at the Time Institute. I could probably run your brother’s lab too.”

Beauty and brains, is this girl amazing or what? Ryn shrugs his shoulders with a grin. “My brother’s the smartest man in the universe, though. I think I’m a little more qualified than you, Laurie. But let’s hope we all get in. I think that you and I could be a good team.”

Laurie giggles at that and playfully pushes Ryn’s shoulder.

A glance over at his family tells Ryn that Grace isn’t happy. She’s barely tolerating Aunt Ayla and Aunt Vi hugging her and petting her hair and telling her how pretty she is. And she’s glaring in Ryn’s general direction.

But Grace doesn’t understand. Ryn’s never really had friends before. Grace is more social, and has friends at school. She can’t begin to know what it’s like for Ryn.

“I heard some people saying we have an unfair advantage,” Laurie says, frowning. “Because our parents were Legionnaires, you know? They think we’ll get in based on connections. But my parents trained me for this. I _know_ what I’m doing, unlike most of these kids.”

“Same here,” says Marc. “But I’ll tell you, I’ve heard worse things. It’s not fair of them to drag our heritage into it, but a lot of people have been trash talking the three of us. You know, because we’re related to super villains.”

“Are you serious?” Laurie demands. “My grandfather has nothing to do with _me_.”

“My dad’s got nothing to do with me,” Marc agrees. “I never even met the guy. My aunts raised me, and they were some of the best Legionnaires. You would think people could see that.”

The three of them have a very important connection, Ryn realizes. And it’s going to be important for them to stick together because of it.

“People see what they want to see,” he says grimly. “Take it from the kid with green skin; people would rather believe you’re scum than believe that you’re somehow better than they are. And the three of us? We’re a step above the rest. That’s just how it is.”

“We’ll show them,” Laurie declares. “We’ll all three get in, okay? We’re more than qualified. And then we’ll prove ourselves to the universe, if we have to.”

\--

The first part of tryouts is interviews. Aunt Imra and Uncle Rokk are in charge of interviews, and Aunt Imra rules out about half of the participants right away based on mind scans. Marc, who went before Laurie and Ryn, says that she questioned him closely but didn’t seem to think there was anything in his brain to worry about. Privately, Ryn’s not so sure about that – but Aunt Imra would know, and Marc is her nephew.

“This part is way easy for you and me,” Marc tells Ryn. “I mean, we’re getting interviewed by the same people who buy us birthday presents every year.”

“That doesn’t mean that they’re not treating us fairly,” Ryn says. “It’s easy for us because they already know how bad we want this and how hard we’ve trained; that’s all.”

Still, he’s nervous when he gets called. Even though it’s just Aunt Imra and Uncle Rokk, he’s nauseous by the time he sits down in front of them. He forces a smile.

“Applicant Brainiac 6,” Uncle Rokk greets professionally. He winks at Ryn. “Don’t sweat it, Ryn; the interview is the easy part. We’re ruling out the unstable candidates. The hard part is actually showing us what you’ve got.”

“You’re applying for Querl’s old position, right?” Aunt Imra asks. “We’ll ask you to operate the lab for us, which I’m sure you can do. You’ll also be randomly assigned to a group and your group will have to battle against a simulation. Aim to win the simulation, but remember that we’re also looking for teamwork. Work with your team and come up with a strategy. Even if you don’t win the simulation, if you impress us, we’ll be considering you for final entry.”

“Everybody says there’s only five spots open this year,” Ryn says nervously. “Is that true?”

“Well, sort of,” says Uncle Rokk. “We’ll accept more than that, probably. Five is just the number of recently vacated positions. For instance, you’d be filling your brother’s old spot, and that’s a position we’ve been trying to fill for years, so it doesn’t count as one of the five spots.”

Ryn breathes a sigh of relief. “Do I have any competition for that position?”

“Now, we can’t tell you that,” Aunt Imra chides. “We want you to try your best, Ryn. Prove to us that you’re ready for this, because if you’re not ready, we’re not going to put you in harm’s way.”

“I’m ready,” Ryn swears. “Trust me; I am so ready for this.”

\--

Twenty participants make it past the interviews, which Ryn thinks is pretty staggering, considering how many kids showed up today. However, when Uncle Rokk addresses the remaining twenty, he explains that only those who Imra felt were mentally prepared for a job like this were allowed through.

“You’re all young,” Rokk says to them. “And this is a big job. It’s important for you all to know that everyone had a fair shot at getting to this stage. Those who were eliminated from the interview round are welcome to come back next year to try out again. And in this round, we want you all to know that we’re not against you. We _want_ you to pass, but if you’re not ready, we will rule you out. The Legion is dangerous and we’ve seen what happens to kids who aren’t ready for it. It’s our job as former and senior members to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

There’s a brief recess before the final round for the remaining applicants to get to know each other. Laurie and Marc find Ryn immediately, and Laurie is practically glowing with excitement.

“Can you believe it? I mean, we’re practically guaranteed to get in now,” she says. “All we have to do is show them what we’re capable of! I hope we’re on the same team, guys. If we’re on the same team, we’ll totally have this in the bag.”

It would be nice, Ryn agrees, if they were on the same team. Marc and Laurie will be easier to work with than strangers.

A sandy-haired boy with gray eyes, dressed in a simple brown and blue uniform, comes over, smiling. “Hey, Ryn,” he greets, but Ryn doesn’t recognize him right away. “Can you believe it? I had no idea I’d actually make it to this round. I only decided to try out on a whim.”

It takes Ryn a minute to place the boy. “Oh, Joan,” he says, snapping his fingers. “You’re Grace’s friend.”

Joan grins broadly. “You remembered me this time!”

Laurie regards Joan critically. “What’s your power?” she asks, a tad reclusive around this newcomer.

“Empathy,” Joan replies with a calm smile. “Well, that’s part of it. I’m also telekinetic. But I’m not a telepath, if that makes sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” Ryn says. “There are different parts of the brain associated with all of those things. Some telepaths are also telekinetic, but telekinesis is not necessarily a sign of telepathy. And empathy is completely separate, surprisingly enough.”

“You deserve your name, Brainiac 6,” Joan says brightly. He smiles at Marc and Laurie politely. “I’m sorry, I haven’t properly introduced myself. My name is Joan Walter, and my codename is Muse.”

“Muse?” Marc asks. “Why’d you pick a name like that?”

Joan just shrugs his shoulders. “I didn’t have one until the interview. Saturn Girl offered me some advice on how to use my empathy abilities in a team, and it made sense. Basically, I can use my empathic abilities to keep everyone’s moral up, hence the name.”

“Does Grace know you have abilities like this?” Ryn asks curiously. Grace has never mentioned it before and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally keep from him.

“No, I kind of haven’t told anyone but my mom and dad,” Joan replies. “It’s just that… high school is hard enough, you know? No need to make yourself stand out. I don’t know how Grace handles all the jerks at our school. But she told me you were trying out for the Legion the other day and it just hit me, ‘hey, I could do that too.’ So I did and here I am.”

Ryn frowns, a little put off by that statement. He’s been training for the Legion almost his whole life. Getting this far is an accomplishment that he feels like he’s worked hard for. Could it really be as simple as just deciding you want it one day and going for it? He doesn’t think so. That can’t be how it works.

He really hopes that Joan isn’t in his group. As far as he can tell, Joan has no combat training at all. The telekinesis could be useful, minimally, if Joan knows how to use it. But what good is empathy? What’s he going to do, make everyone feel better?

“Okay, everyone, listen up.” Rokk’s back at the front of the room. The twenty teenagers in the room turn to face him, all eager for the next step.

“The way we’re going to do this is simple. We’ve entered your names into a randomizer, and you’ll each be assigned to a color team; red, yellow, green, or blue. When your name and color have been called out, locate your teammates. When all the teams have assembled, each team will be assigned a ‘mission.’ Before you face your mission in the simulation chamber, you’ll have an opportunity to review what you’re going to be up against and to formulate a plan. But remember, there may still be some surprises in the simulation that you won’t be able to prepare for in advance.”

Laurie, trembling all over with excitement, reaches over and grabs Ryn’s hand. She shares a small smile with him and then ducks her head shyly. Ryn squeezes her hand in return to reassure her.

When Laurie’s name and team (yellow) are announced, it only makes the girl more nervous. And when Ryn’s name is called out, followed by team yellow, Laurie lets out an excited little squeal and throws her arms around Ryn’s neck.

Ryn distantly hears Marc whoop when he too is placed on team yellow, but he has no idea who the fourth person on their team is because he’s too preoccupied with the beautiful girl hugging him. He hugs Laurie back and grins.

But his confidence wavers just a little when he finally pulls away from Laurie and he realizes who their fourth teammate is.

Joan Walter smiles serenely at him, as if he’s not surprised at all.

\--

“A covert mission?” Ryn asks in dismay when he opens Team Yellow’s folder and sees the words printed boldly at the top. He glances at his teammates and resists the urge to groan. How is he supposed to get them through a covert mission? If it had been hands on combat, that would have been no problem. But Marc is not the subtle type, and neither is Laurie, and Joan is still useless, as far as Ryn can tell.

Joan puts a hand on Ryn’s shoulder and takes the folder from him. “No worries, I’m sure we can handle this. We’ve got you on our team, so that’s an advantage over pretty much everyone else.”

That may be true, but Ryn doesn’t have nearly so much faith in himself. Even a genius can only do so much.

“Let’s see, we’re on an enemy ship and we have to get to the control room without getting caught,” Joan says as he looks over the assignment. “We then have to hack into the main controls and steal some data, and get that info back to the starting point. Okay, who here can actually hack a computer?”

Ryn is the only person who raises his hand.

“Right,” says Joan, “I kind of expected that. So that means we have to get Ryn safely to the control room. It says here that there are guards on the ship but it doesn’t say anything else. Here, Ryn, memorize the information about the data you have to steal.”

He hands the folder back to Ryn, who accepts it with a frown and scans quickly over the information. “The name of the game is to get in and get out without raising too much suspicion. We need to avoid conflict if we can, or take care of anyone we run across quickly and quietly.”

Laurie nods solemnly. “Don’t worry, Ryn, we’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

“I’m flattered, Laurie, but don’t worry about me,” Ryn replies with a smile. “I’m trained in combat. Super smart is less useful if you’re a sitting duck, right?”

Marc lets a tiny spark of lightning dance across his fingertips. “Leave the brawn up to us and handle the brains, little man. We can deal with this, no problem.”

And somehow Ryn is not reassured. He has a feeling he’s going to be covering all three of his teammates, even though they’re all supposed to be covering _him_.

His heart is pounding in his chest as they step into the simulation chamber. He has to make this work; it’s the only thing standing between him and the dream that he’s had since he was a tiny child. There’s no way he can let himself fail now, and if that means carrying all of his teammates, well, that’s what he’ll have to do.

Laurie is holding his hand again, and that comforts him a little. However, the way Joan keeps staring at their entwined fingers is starting to bother him.

Then the countdown starts and Ryn forgets all about Joan, barely even notices Laurie, as he prepares himself for the coming challenge.

TBC


	3. On Your Side

**Chapter 3: On Your Side**

 _Take it easy, baby, we can make it right._

 _Girl, you know my love is always on your side._

 _Rest your eyes tonight._

 _You know that my love is on your side._

 **  
_-A Rocket to the Moon, “On Your Side”_   
**

The simulation chamber slowly melts away before Ryn’s eyes. Despite having visited Legion World several times throughout his life, he has never been in the simulation chamber before and the experience is totally new, and more than a little overwhelming. For a moment, it feels like he’s nowhere at all; trapped in blank, white nothing, before a new scene unfolds.

Then their little ragtag team is standing in a hallway, metal and cold. Ryn shivers a little – even the temperature feels real.

He glances to the side, sees Laurie opening her mouth to speak, and quickly puts a hand over her mouth.

“Covert mission,” he murmurs. “Everybody, keep your voices down.”

Laurie immediately quiets and nods in understanding. She takes a cautious step forward, obviously doing her best not to make any noise, and yet her footfall is solid and echoes off the walls. As talented as she might be, Laurie clearly does not know her own strength.

“Quietly,” Ryn murmurs stubbornly. This earns him a hurt look from Laurie, but the girl forces a smile and nods.

“No worries, Captain.” Joan’s hand rests on Ryn’s shoulder, solid and comforting, and the other boy smiles at him. “You just worry about getting yourself to our goal. I’ll have your back, and Shockwave and Vega will be the firepower. It’s a matter of utilizing everyone’s strengths. We can do this, guys.”

To Ryn’s surprise, the statement actually does make him feel a little better. He glances at Marc and Laurie, and they also both look a little more relaxed.

“I see you weren’t lying about your ability, Muse,” Ryn remarks. “But I don’t think I’ll need any false reassurance. Just try not to get yourself killed.”

He doesn’t wait to see the expression on Joan’s face. Instead, he steps forward, quickly analyzing their surroundings. The only way to go is forward, so he motions for the rest of the team to follow him.

“Awfully quiet,” Marc says in a whisper so harsh that it could wake the dead. When Ryn looks back at him with raised eyebrows, he looks sheepish. “Sorry, little man. I’m not really a quiet personality type.”

“Then just don’t talk, if you don’t mind,” Ryn suggests, maybe a little more irritably than he should have.

He’s not even sure why he’s so off his game right now. Maybe it’s just Joan’s presence that has him thrown, but why should the boy bother him so much? Admittedly, he’s also a little overwhelmed by Laurie’s attentions. It was nice at first, the way she keeps taking his hand and smiling at him and laughing at all the right moments. But now, with Joan on the other side trying to reassure Ryn and constantly touched his shoulder, Ryn feels a bit like the rope in a game of tug-o-war.

And now it feels like they’re all looking to _him_ for guidance, just because he’s the smart one, and what if he lets them all down? It’s like it’s his job to get them through this final stage. If he lets any of them fall through the cracks, he’ll feel awful for it. And what if he really can’t handle this and Rokk and Imra think he’s not ready for the Legion? It would be so embarrassing to fail now.

“Oh, I think I’ve done something.” Laurie freezes in place. The floor tile where she just settled her foot has sunken down.

For a minute, nothing happens. And then, suddenly, a harsh noise fills the hallway. Ryn quickly covers his ears to protect against the awful sound.

“An alarm!” Joan shouts over the noise.

At the moment he says that, the hallway is rocked by an explosion. Bright light shocks Ryn’s vision before he is suddenly thrown backwards by the blast. He lands heavily on the floor, a large weight covering him.

“Booby trap,” he hears Marc say. “Laurie, are you alright?”

“Of course, I’m invulnerable,” Laurie replies. “I know I’m the girl, Shockwave, but I’m pretty sure I’m the least delicate out of the four of us.”

Ryn blinks, but his eyesight doesn’t return. The world is dark. “Did someone turn off the lights?” he calls out.

“Pretty sure the most delicate one is the Captain over here,” Marc says. “Tossup between him and his personal guard, though.”

“I’m not hurt,” Joan says; his voice right beside Ryn’s ear for some reason. “I just got a few minor burns, I think.”

The weight on top of Ryn moves off of him and then someone grabs Ryn’s arm and hauls him up off the floor. “Are you alright, Ryn?” Joan asks, and his voice is still too close for comfort. “You don’t look like you got too roughed up.”

“How can you see anything in this dark?” Ryn demands. He holds onto Joan’s arms, because he feels unsteady without his vision.

There’s an awkward silence, and Ryn wishes he could see his teammates’ faces for some clue as to why they’re not saying anything. “Is something wrong? Guys?”

“Brainiac, the lighting in here is the same as it was,” Marc speaks up finally. “It’s not dark in here at all.”

“What are you talking about? Of course it is. I can’t see two feet in front of my face.” Ryn blinks, trying to get his vision to adjust, and still it’s just black. And then it hits him like a ton of bricks. “I… I can’t see.”

Joan’s hold on him tightens a little. “Okay, stay calm. I’m sure it’s just temporary. They wouldn’t put anything in here that can do any real damage, so I’m sure it will wear off.”

“If I can’t see, I can’t walk!” Ryn snaps back at him. “Sprock!”

Everything is ruined. If he can’t even see, how is he supposed to get them through this? He can feel himself trembling in Joan’s hold, and he knows he’s barely holding it together. But Joan’s arms abruptly encircle him, drawing him close.

“It’s not over yet,” the other boy murmurs. “Just have faith.”

A calm feeling washes over Ryn suddenly, pushing back his nerves as though they’re trivial worries. The embrace is surprisingly comforting, and Ryn finds himself leaning into it.

“I’ll carry you,” Joan says. “Vega, Shockwave, just keep me covered and I’ll get Ryn to that data.”

Somehow, Ryn finds himself hoisted up on Joan’s back. Feeling vulnerable, he wraps his legs around Joan’s waist and his arms around Joan’s neck, holding on for dear life. But the other boy has a firm hold on him and seems pretty sturdy. Apparently he’s stronger than Ryn had thought.

Still, Ryn startles nervously when Joan starts moving, and holds on a little tighter for good measure. “What’s the point in getting me to the main controls if I can’t even see what I’m looking for? We might as well surrender now.”

“You’re ready to give up already?” Joan’s tone is so disapproving that it makes Ryn feel guilty for the words he just uttered. “Come on, Ryn, I thought this was your dream? You can’t just give up when things get hard. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Things wouldn’t be easy in a real mission, and if this was real, we’d still have to do our best to complete the mission. You’ve got the data we need memorized, right? If your vision hasn’t recovered when we get to the main controls, you’ll have to guide me through hacking the computer.”

Oh, Ryn hopes dearly that his vision comes back. He’s pretty sure guiding someone through such a difficult process would be next to impossible without being able to see what was going on.

“Don’t step on anymore booby traps, Vega,” Marc says with a slight sneer. “Next time Brainy might lose his hearing.”

Ryn groans. “Don’t call me that. Lyle calls Querl that, it would just be weird.”

“Whatever you say, Brainy.”

When this is all over, Ryn decides to double check with Aunt Imra, to ask her if she’s absolutely certain that Marc is mature enough for the Legion. The guy’s such a pill sometimes. At least he’s not the one carrying Ryn right now, he’d probably let Ryn fall just for giggles.

“If he doesn’t want to be called that, don’t call him that,” Laurie speaks up in Ryn’s defense, but she’s probably just smarting from the jab Marc took at her for triggering that explosion. “Come on, guys, let’s just be nice to each other.”

If only it were that simple, Ryn wishes.

\--

Joan is starting to think that he has made a giant mistake. What was he thinking, just out of the blue trying out for the Legion? He has never wanted to be a hero. Well, to be exact, he has never wanted to be a crime fighter. As far as being a hero goes, there’s one person he wishes he could be a hero for.

Even though he always smiles and reintroduces himself to Ryn Dox each time they bump into each other, it still smarts every time Ryn forgets his name. For his part, Joan has been enamored with the Coluan for several years now.

The first time he ever saw Ryn was at the local movie store when they were both 12. He’d been there browsing for a good film, and the whole Dox-Norg family had come in. Joan had watched them discreetly from around the corner of a shelf, because they were sort of a legend in Smallville. Lyle Norg had been carrying Gracie, 8 years old at the time, while Querl Dox and Ryn hung back, both smiling but neither laughing as raucously as the Norgs were.

Even then, Ryn had been captivating. The whole family stood out like a sore thumb – but they were _proud_ of standing out, and Joan had been more than a little jealous at the time. His own abilities, only just starting to manifest at the time, had terrified him at first and he’d kept them hidden.

But Ryn is Joan’s age and if anyone could understand what it’s like for Joan, being different and scared, he thinks it might be Ryn.

So he has tried to make friends with Ryn, over and over again, but Ryn is so completely oblivious to everything outside his personal bubble. Ryn never attended public school – and even if he had, he would have been several grades above Joan. He has never been in any clubs, or on any sports teams. His whole life has been spent on the old Kent Farm.

This is Joan’s chance to actually get to know Ryn. He doesn’t want to be a hero, that’s true, but he wants to be able to protect Ryn. He said as much to Saturn Girl in the interview. She’d asked him what his real reasons for being here today were. He’s pretty sure she just made him say it out loud for Cosmic Boy’s benefit. But he’d told her the truth; that Ryn matters to him and he wants to keep him safe.

He’s sure that Saturn Girl knows what he left out; that he thinks he might have fallen in love with Ryn. And he really wishes she could have told him if he had any real shot. It’s disheartening, watching the way Vega keeps flirting with Ryn. Worse is the way Ryn flirts back, and doesn’t pay Joan any mind.

But _this_ is the perfect opportunity. Ryn wants to be in the Legion more than anything, and if Joan can get him through this last test so that he can finally live his dream, maybe Ryn will start to notice him. And then, Vega won’t be such competition, because Joan will finally be Ryn’s hero.

Ryn is reasonably light – lithe and small in build, short for his age. He holds onto Joan like his life depends on it, and Joan can feel how worried he is. He tries to send reassuring feelings to the other boy, but Ryn has started pushing those feelings away. Joan is finding out quickly that Ryn is fiercely independent and won’t accept any help that he doesn’t have to.

“Are we going the right direction?” Ryn asks. “Do any of you know how to get to the main controls?”

“There’s only one direction, smarty pants,” says Shockwave, who seems very at ease with making fun of Ryn. Joan has seen this boy before, at Gracie’s birthday last year. His real name is Marc Ranzz, the son of Mekt Ranzz. Mekt is Ayla and Garth Ranzz’s mentally disturbed brother, the Winathian with no twin. Marc doesn’t have a twin either, and Joan wonders if he has the same problems as his father.

Vega glares at Shockwave, ever at Ryn’s defense. “Well, it’s not like he can see where we’re going, Shockwave. Give him a break, he’s just making sure we don’t do anything stupid.”

“So far, it’s just one long hallway,” Joan supplies to Ryn, because Vega and Shockwave aren’t being very helpful, bickering the way they are. “I’ll tell you if anything comes up.”

A few moments later, the hallway splits into two paths. Joan looks from one to the other, trying to figure out which one is safest. “There are two hallways now, but we’re not sure which one to take,” he tells Ryn.

“Nothing for it, we’ll just go with this one,” Shockwave says and he sets down the hallway on the right before Joan can stop him.

“If there were guards this direction, I’d feel them,” Joan reasons out loud as he and Vega follow Shockwave.

Ryn snorts derisively. “Your logic is flawed, Muse. You would only feel them if there were any sentient beings down this hallway. However, everything in this test is a simulation. There is no way you’ll be able to feel the guards’ emotions, because they don’t _have any_.”

“Ah… I hadn’t thought about it that way,” Joan admits sheepishly. His cheeks flush red and he’s glad Ryn can’t see him right now. He knows he’s not nearly as smart as Ryn, or Gracie, but he wishes he could keep up with them. Maybe Ryn would be more interested in him if he was smarter…

Up ahead, he sees a light at the end of the hall and he slows down. “There’s bound to be guards in there,” he says, lowering his voice. “We’ll have to be careful.”

He feels Ryn’s anxiety spike, and he does his best to send back reassuring feelings. The other boy clings to him just a little tighter.

There’s nowhere to hide. The closer they get to the room, the more apparent it is that it just opens up into a wide room. They’ll be spotted, and there’s no getting around that, so they’ll need a plan. Joan pauses and motions for Shockwave and Vega to do the same.

“We need to figure out how to get to the main controls,” he tells them. “This room probably isn’t the right one; that would be too easy. So we’ll have to get the information from someone in there. Vega, you’re pretty much invincible, so we’ll be relying on you pretty heavily.”

“Remember that you still have weaknesses, Laurie,” Ryn speaks up, and he feels concerned for Vega’s welfare. “Don’t just charge in – be careful.”

A wave of emotion comes from Vega, that unmistakable sense of _“Oh gosh, how sweet!”_ that Joan is very used to feeling from girls. Vega looks at Ryn with charmed smile and nods, even though Ryn can’t see her.

“Don’t worry, Ryn, I’ll be careful,” she replies.

“Marc, you need to be careful too,” Ryn says, maybe sensing somehow that the Winathian is rolling his eyes. “You’re not like Laurie – if you get hit, you could be killed, or rather, taken out of the game. We need your firepower, but you’ve got to think before you act.”

“Ryn’s right,” Joan backs him up, because Shockwave still looks unconvinced. “We have to be smart and we have to prove that we’re not just good by ourselves – we work as a team too.”

This seems to get the message through to Shockwave, because the white haired boy looks down at his shoes and nods curtly. “Okay, point taken. I play well with others. So let’s do this thing. How about we use Vega as bait?”

“Excuse me?” Vega demands, her feathers ruffled by that suggestion. “Why me?”

“Because you look defenseless, but you can defend yourself,” Shockwave replies. “We could throw Ryn out there, but he’d probably die. You, on the other hand, are indestructible. So the plan is, you distract them for a minute and play the damsel in distress card. Meanwhile, I’ll surprise them and you and I can take them out.”

“Try to catch one,” Joan reminds them. “We’ll need to make someone tell us where to go from here and how to avoid the alarms.”

Vega doesn’t look happy about the plan, but she goes along with it. She heads down the hall, with Shockwave following her at a distance. Joan hangs back, too vulnerable with Ryn hampering his ability to fight to be of any assistance to them.

“You’re not a bad leader,” Ryn remarks softly. He feels surprised. “They actually listen to you.”

“Well, it’s news to me,” Joan says honestly. “I’ve always been a follower. You’re more the leader type. I know how bad you want to win this, Ryn. It’s your dream, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” the other boy admits. His voice is barely audible.

“That’s why I’ll make sure we all get through this. I only want to get into the Legion if you get in. So we’re going to beat this thing.”

“Thank you.” Ryn feels overwhelmed and uncertain. “I don’t know why you’re being this nice to me but thank you.”

This is exactly what Joan wanted. Knowing that Ryn is so grateful to him, Joan feels like he could take on the universe if he had to. Maybe this is good enough. If he can just be Ryn’s friend, and keep him safe, maybe he won’t need more than that to be happy.

Ahead of them, hell breaks loose. Vega steps into the room and is immediately spotted. For a few moments, while the guards in the room surround her, she does nothing. It isn’t until Shockwave comes in behind her, lightning flashing, that Vega drops the act.

It’s messy and disorganized, but it takes the two of them a surprisingly short amount of time to clear out their attackers. The last one, however, manages to press the alarm before Vega grabs hold of him, locking his arms firmly behind his back.

Joan hurries into the room as fast as he can with Ryn still on his back. “Someone needs to turn that alarm off!” he shouts over the offensive noise.

Vega pushes the captive over to Shockwave before storming over to the alarm and smashing in the whole panel with one powerful blow. The sound abruptly stops. “Is that better?” she demands.

“Much,” Joan answers her before turning his attention to the captive. “Hey, you! Where are the main controls?”

The man refuses to answer, turning his gaze to the ceiling stubbornly.

“What does this room look like?” Ryn speaks up. “I’m starting to get my vision back a little but it’s still just shapes.”

“Umm, some big screens, some control panels…” Shockwave tries to help, but doesn’t really know what he’s looking for.

“Ryn, it looks like we’re in the right place,” Vega speaks up. “Either these are the main controls or we’re in a really fancy spaceship.”

“Excellent! Someone help me to the main computer.” Ryn’s mood skyrockets.

Joan obliges and carries Ryn over to what looks like the most important computer. “You can’t see well enough to do anything, can you? Direct me. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“It’s not that simple,” Ryn replies with a grimace. “Hacking a system like this… for me, it’s just something I can do. I don’t know if I can explain the process to you properly.”

“Ryn, just try,” Joan urges. “I’m not a complete idiot. I can probably figure it out with a little help.”

“Okay, well… the basic starting points are easy enough.” Ryn takes a deep breath and nods. “And my eyesight is slowly coming back, so maybe I’ll be able to take over when it gets more difficult. As long as Vega and Shockwave can buy us enough time, we should be able to do this.”

“I know you can do it, Ryn,” Joan replies with a smile that Ryn can’t see. He squeezes Ryn’s hand comfortingly. “Now, what do I do first?”

Ryn’s idea of “easy” turns out to not be all that simple, but Joan does his best to keep up with Ryn’s directions. A few times, though, he has to ask and ask again for Ryn to clarify and he can feel the Coluan boy’s irritation growing.

“How’s your eyesight?” he asks.

“Better, but everything is still blurry,” Ryn replies shortly.

“Guys, hurry up!” Shockwave warns from the doorway where he and Vega are keeping watch. “I think Laurie hears people coming.”

Vega nods in affirmation. “The sooner we get that data and get out of here, the better.”

“Move over, Muse,” Ryn says suddenly, blinking his eyes rapidly. “I think I can see well enough to manage now.”

Ryn’s fingers fly over the keys rapidly, and within seconds he’s far deeper into the computer’s system than Joan managed. If he hadn’t been blinded, Joan suspects they would already be done by now. Perhaps that was intentional on the part of their elders? This was a test to see how well they’d all be able to handle fieldwork, after all.

“What’s that word there?” Ryn asks, pointing at the screen, his eyes narrowed. “I can’t make it out.”

Joan quickly scans the word, and feels a lump stick in his throat.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs.

“Huh, that makes sense,” Ryn remarks, and then plows on again without explaining. A few moments later, he lets out a triumphant cheer. “Here it is! Now, time to send it back to Legion HQ.”

“Hurry!” Shockwave shouts urgently. “We need to get out of here! I don’t know if Laurie and I can keep all of them away from you guys!”

The loading bar on the screen is moving so slowly, it’s infuriating. Joan taps his fingers against the counter urgently. “How much longer will it take?”

“I… I don’t know, it’s a large file,” Ryn admits, his nerves spiking. “I’m sorry. I can’t speed up the process.”

“It’s fine,” Joan says quickly, sending good feelings to the other boy. “Don’t worry, we’ll be alright.”

The bar is finally fully loaded, and the information goes through. Shockwave whirls around and points to the only other exit in the room.

“Take Ryn and get out of here!” he demands. “Laurie and I will hold them off and follow you!”

“I can fight!” Ryn objects. “My vision is almost back to optimal performance!”

“There’s too many of them!” Vega says, shaking her head. “Ryn, everyone knows how much you want this! It’s my fault you were handicapped in the first place, and you deserve a place in the Legion! So let us do this for you!”

Ryn shakes his head stubbornly, so Joan grabs him firmly by the arm and drags him along to exit. The other boy fights against his hold, making things difficult, but Joan holds on with all he’s got.

“They’re right, Ryn!” he shouts. “We’re not all going to make it! This is your dream and you deserve it!”

The fight seems to leave Ryn, and he allows himself to be dragged along. “It’s not right, Muse! Legionnaires aren’t supposed to leave each other behind! Laurie and Marc wanted this too and… If I’d just moved faster, we could have all gotten out.”

An explosion rocks the room behind them and Joan puts an arm around Ryn’s shoulders, holding him close as they run through the narrow passage that Joan can only hope leads to an exit. He’s still holding on to Ryn for dear life when suddenly the only thing he can see if bright white.

Then he’s standing in the middle of the simulation chamber again. He looks up from the floor slowly, scanning his surroundings. Beside him, and still clinging to him like his life depends on it, Ryn starts to do the same. Nearby, Joan sees Vega and Shockwave standing there, looking as shocked as Joan feels. Was that the end? Did they fail?

The door to the chamber slides open and Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl are standing there looking in at then. Cosmic Boy has his Omnicom in his hand and he’s punching something into it. He looks up at them and smiles broadly.

“Congratulations, Team Yellow,” he greets them cheerfully. “I’m pleased to report that your team lasted the longest in the simulation, and also that this team got the highest marks for team cooperation. The four of you have passed this round and are to be named official Legionnaires.”

Joan keeps hold of Ryn because he thinks the other boy might faint. “Easy does it. You made it, Ryn.”

“We all did,” says Vega. She comes forward, her big eyes as wide as saucers. “But how is that possible? We failed the simulation. We didn’t get out in time.”

Saturn Girl gazes serenely at them, her own smile just the slightest upturn of her lips but present nonetheless. “There are three of you in this room who some would say had an unfair advantage, and the fourth a friend of Ryn’s little sister. Some might try to say that you were given a free pass, but the truth is that we expected great things from you and we were pleasantly surprised by your performance. The simulation is not designed to be won, but we wanted you to do your best. Congratulations, children, you have earned your rings.”

“Aunt Imra…” Ryn suddenly draws away from Joan and stumbles over to the woman. Saturn Girl catches him when he trips and sinks down to the floor with him, letting him rest his head against her shoulder.

“Are you tired, my little one?” she asks him tenderly. “You did well, Ryn.” She looks up at Joan and the others again. “You all did. Marc, Lauren, you have made your parents proud. And Mr. Walter, I believe you accomplished your goal. How does it feel?”

Joan laughs sharply, but he’s distracted with worry for Ryn. “It feels like I’m in too deep.”

“Maybe you should see about getting that uniform modification you’re thinking about,” Saturn Girl suggests. “When you’re finished, I’m sure Ryn will be recovered. You can leave him to his family for now.”

“Welcome to the Legion, Muse,” says Cosmic Boy, and the man offers Joan his hand. “Glad to have you onboard.”

As he shakes Cosmic Boy’s hand, still disoriented and a little shocked, Joan realizes there’s no going back now.

TBC


	4. Dancing on the Edge

**Chapter 4: Dancing on the Edge**

_We’re going at it tonight._

_There’s a party on the rooftop, top of the world_

_Tonight, tonight, and we’re dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign._

_I don’t know if I’ll make it, but watch how good I’ll fake it._

_It’s alright, alright, tonight, tonight._

_-Hot Chelle Rae, “Tonight, Tonight”_   
**  
**

It’s been a long time since Querl’s been in his old lab. It hasn’t been used to its full potential since he and Lyle retired, but now it has a new caretaker and Querl’s heart swells with pride for his little brother. Even though he’s never really liked the idea of Ryn joining the Legion because of how dangerous it is, he finds himself brimming with excitement knowing that Ryn actually made it. Of course he did. He was raised by Querl, after all, and trained to take over this post by the only two people who have ever been able to manage it.

“You’ll need to start updating a lot of the technology in here,” he tells Ryn. They’re exploring the old lab together and taking note of its current condition.

Ryn is still a little shaky on his feet but his vision has completely recovered. He is in awe of the dusty old lab, as though it contains everything he has ever hoped for. Querl wishes he could remember his first days in a Legion lab fondly but what he actually remembers is the feeling of being unwanted, isolated, in a strange and new place where nothing made sense.

“Yes, that’s true, but there’s a lot of stuff here that is still top quality,” Ryn replies excitedly as he wipes dust off a control panel. “I can’t believe I actually did it, Querl. I’m really here.”

“There was never any doubt,” Querl says honestly. Part of the reason he was against even letting Ryn try out is because he’s always known that the Legion would jump at the opportunity to have another Brainiac on the team. “You earned this. Lyle and I are proud of you.”

His hands go to the belt secured around his waist. No one questioned why he’d worn it today, perhaps assuming he’d wanted to express some Legion pride (although surely Lyle knew him better than that). Unbuckling it, he holds the item out to his brother.

“I never told you, or Lyle either, but I decided to give this to you if you were accepted,” Querl explains. “Don’t rely on it too much. I always did and my combat skills suffered as a result, but it’s a very useful tool. It can keep you safe in a lot of situations.”

“Are you serious?” Ryn takes the force shield belt in his hands, handling it with no small measure of awe. “But Querl…”

He looks up at Querl with a knowing expression that makes Querl cringe. Years have passed and his family still treats him like he is made of glass.

“I never wear it,” Querl says firmly. “Yes, part of me wanted to keep it around because… I suppose I always felt safe when I used it. We’ve both grown up a lot in recent years. I don’t need the belt. I’m more worried about you and I want you to use it.”

Nodding, Ryn puts the belt on, adjusting it to fit his waist. “It’s an honor.”

“Now you’re just missing the ring.” Querl discretely rubs the wedding band on his left hand. He doesn’t wear his Legion ring anymore but he still has it, one of his few sentimental possessions.

Ryn glances at his own bare ring finger and grins, probably imagining the ring that will soon be adorning it. It is clear that Ryn is excited, and he deserves to be, but Querl wants him to be prepared too. Being in the Legion isn’t all fun and games.

“Never let your guard down,” Querl says. “Never, do you understand me? Even people who are supposed to be your friends can hurt you. You’re young, it’s a dangerous time. When I was your age, this was the biggest challenge I had ever faced.”

There are differences, of course. Querl came to the Legion with enough baggage to fill his laboratory, and no one had really known because Querl didn’t tell people his secrets. Ryn has a family to support him, and is far more social than Querl. He'll probably be fine, but there are things about the boy that remind Querl too much of himself.

“Don’t fall in love too often, you already told me,” Ryn says, his tone implying that he thinks it's a silly rule. “I’ll be okay.”

Querl forces himself to smile. “It’s hard to believe you’re actually old enough for this. Where did my little boy go?”

“He’s right here.” Ryn suddenly flings his arms around Querl and hugs him tight. “Thank you so much. You and Lyle have been the greatest parents a kid could ask for.”

Even though he doesn’t want to, Querl realizes he has to accept that Ryn is all grown up now. It’s time for one of his children to leave the nest, and he can at least take comfort in the knowledge that he has done everything he can to make sure that Ryn is ready for this.

\--

It amazes Ryn that he manages to stay calm during the induction ceremony. He is practically bouncing with excitement; he just can’t help how incredibly happy he is that he has actually managed to get into the Legion, and his friends with him as well! He has a feeling his chances with Laurie just went up by a significant percentage, because she keeps looking over at him and blushing and smiling, occasionally waving to him discretely. She’s so pretty…

Two more people were chosen this time around, a girl and a boy. They are both stoically avoiding Ryn and his friends, except that they don’t seem to have a problem talking to Muse, who has been socializing a great deal, apparently. Ryn feels a twinge of jealousy, though he’s not sure why, and he looks over at Laurie and winks at her to make her giggle, taking his mind off of Joan.

He already has Querl’s belt, which has a Legionnaire buckle built into it, but he accepts his new buckle and ring with no less delight. When he slips the ring onto his finger, he feels powerful; like he could do anything. And he can’t resist rising up off the ground a few feet, just to prove to himself that he can.

Finally, Ryn is a real Legionnaire. Brainiac 6 isn’t just a game anymore. He doesn’t have Assistant Bear to help him but he has a feeling he’ll make friends in the Legion willing to fill that role. The only thing that’s bothering him is the thought of leaving Grace. She’s not happy with him and she clearly doesn’t understand. Now Joan, who is supposed to be Grace’s friend, is leaving her too. Ryn knows his sister isn’t going to handle this well.

“In a few years, maybe Mom and Dad will let you try out,” he tells her as she helps him move his things into his new room. “We’d be a great team, you and me. Of course, I’d be the brains of the operation.”

He’s trying to cheer her up, and she gives him a look that tells him she knows what he’s doing. “Obviously you wouldn’t be the brawn,” she agrees, even though she’s not any stronger than he is. Maybe she’s a little bit meaner and makes up for her lack of strength that way.

“What would your codename be?” Ryn asks. He wanders over to the big window with a view of the Legion planet. It’s amazing to look out and see an entire city on its own planet, manufactured by none other than Mr. Brande, who gives them peppermints and asks about “life on the farm."

Grace sits down on Ryn’s bed, currently a bare mattress, and seems to consider the question. “I don’t know. Codenames are usually so cheesy. I like yours and Mom’s, but it would just be silly if I was Brainiac 7. Then again, Dad’s codename was really dumb. I’m not going to call myself _Invisible Gal_ or something.”

“I don’t know, I think Invisible Gal has a ring to it,” says Ryn teasingly. “Well, you have time to think about it. This is all theoretical, after all. You’ll have a hard time talking Mom into it. He was completely against me joining for a long time.”

“He’s just scared,” Grace says softly. “You know, he’s scared that something will happen to you. If I try to join too, I don’t know if he’ll be able to deal with it. Maybe I should just do what he wants and become a doctor, Ryn.”

Ryn frowns. “You should be what you want to be, Gracie. Mom will understand. You just have to give him time.”

His sister shakes her head solemnly. “That’s not the point. I know… I know there are things that you and Mom and Dad won’t tell me about. Mom is fragile. I’m not an idiot, you know, I can see. So it’s not fair of me to make things harder on him. But I’m really going to miss you and I wish we could still live together. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re mine too.” Ryn walks over to the bed and takes a seat beside Grace, wrapping an arm around her. “I’m going to miss you as well.”

They’ve had each other for so long now, and it’s hard to imagine living day to day without Grace. Ryn’s sure he’s going to be lonely a lot. Having new friends is great but they won’t understand him like Grace does. And what about the people in the Legion who won’t even try to understand, like those two new recruits who wouldn’t so much as look at him?

He swallows those fears and forces himself to smile. “We’ll stay in touch all of the time, okay? It will be like I never even left. And I’ll come home to visit.”

“I know.” Grace smiles back and pats his knee reassuringly. “I’m not upset with you, Rynnie. This is your dream and I’m proud of you. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Someone has to stay behind and take care of Mom and Dad, you know? Or else the two of them would forget to eat.”

Ryn laughs lightly at that because it’s very true. Querl is terrible about getting so completely involved in his work that he simply forgets to take care of himself. Lyle used to be much better, and even capable of keeping Querl on track, but has grown rather absentminded and is often preoccupied with his own work. The two of them are hopeless together.

“They really love each other, you know,” he says. “I mean, they really do.”

“Yeah,” Grace agrees. “They do.”

\--

Coming home without Ryn is strange. Sammy is sitting on the porch, as though he has been anxiously awaiting their arrival, and he licks Querl’s hand. Querl kindly pets the dog, ruffling his ears, and murmurs an apology because he knows Sammy is waiting for Ryn.

He misses Ryn already, even though he knows it’s irrational. He remembers the comment that Grace made about Querl and Lyle not caring as much about Ryn as they do about her. Does Ryn really think that way? They’ve always tried to make sure Ryn knows they love him just as much as Grace, even though he’s not their son in the same way that Grace is their daughter.

Lyle’s arms encircle him from behind and Querl realizes he’s been standing in the middle of the living room floor staring helplessly at nothing. His husband kisses his neck tenderly. “B, are you alright?”

“It’s just so strange,” Querl admits. “When we took him in, it never really occurred to me that he’d grow up one day. I… I’m going to miss him.”

“Me too,” Lyle admits softly. “But this is what he has always wanted. He earned this. And he knows he can come home any time he wants to.”

Still, Querl feels old and tired as he makes his way to the kitchen to prepare some supper for his small family, which is now one person smaller. He remembers when Ryn was just a tiny tot, only barely old enough to understand algebraic equations, and now his little brother is all grown up. Grace isn’t far behind him. She’s already starting to rebel, and Querl knows it’s just a matter of time before his baby girl leaves the nest as well.

Years pass so quickly. Querl suddenly remembers Jan Arrah; poor, sweet Jan who was always so kind and selfless, who grew into a monster after spending billions and billions of years alone. Jan had called mortals “blinkers” because they passed away in what seemed to him like the blink of an eye.

He remembers that Jan healed a micro-lesion in his brain that he’d said would have crippled Querl with a stroke eventually. At the time, he’d been too shell-shocked by the entire experience to think about it. Now he realizes that Jan gave him years of happiness with his family, right before the crazed man had stolen away all of Candi’s years in front of their eyes.

There are so many reasons why he doesn’t want his children to be in the Legion. He can’t deny that his membership in the Legion shaped him and made him into a better person, but it also came with so much heartache. When he thinks about all of the friends they lost, he cringes. Jan and Candi are at the forefront of his mind today. It’s been a while since he paid any respects to them. He was never close to either of them when they were alive. In death, it seems like they have remained with him, inseparable from his psyche.

Even Querl can’t pretend to know what happens to people after they die. He has many theories, of course, and he’s seen some interesting things in his life that have shaped those theories. It’s just that he can’t nail it down. As such, it has always been something he’s more than a little afraid of.

He can already tell that Lyle is aging. His husband doesn’t have any gray hairs yet, but there are lines on Lyle’s face that don’t show on Querl’s. It’s a fact that Querl won’t age as fast as Lyle will. After Lyle is gone, Querl will still have years to go. He knows he won’t find anyone else, either. After Lyle, he’ll spend the rest of his life alone. His only comfort is that he will have his children to make it less lonely.

Jan’s word flashes in his mind again; blinkers. He doesn’t like that word, and he didn’t like it the first time he heard it any more than he does now.

“B, you look like you’re thinking way too much.” Lyle starts to set the table. He’s watching Querl with a worried expression. “You’re really upset, aren’t you? Hey, come here.”

Querl doesn’t hesitate. He abandons the peppers he was dicing and turns to his husband, letting Lyle draw him into an embrace. Really, he knows there’s no point in being so worried and upset. What will be, will be. He can’t deny his children what they really want just for his own peace of mind, and he knows how he would have reacted to anyone trying to do the same to him when he was their age. He remembers how hard the Legion fought against people who wanted it shut down. He should be proud of Ryn for carrying on that legacy, and he is.

“We’ll be alright,” Lyle assures him, resting his face against Querl’s shoulder. “It’s going to be weird for a while but kids grow up.”

“I know,” Querl murmurs back. He’s seen so many friends grow up so fast. But that’s what people do and it’s not like Querl can do anything to stop it. “I just don’t like it.”

\--

It turns out that being away from home is a little scarier than Ryn thought it was going to be. His first night as a Legionnaire, he wakes up in the middle of the night and has a moment of panic when he doesn’t recognize his surroundings. After that, he lies in bed for another hour, trying to go back to sleep. When he realizes it’s not going to work, he quietly slips out of his room and makes his way to the cafeteria.

He’s sitting alone, nursing a glass of warm milk, when he’s joined by a familiar face. Joan Walter smiles benignly at him when he sits down across from Ryn. “I thought I felt you up and about,” the human remarks. “Are you feeling homesick?”

The term “homesick” makes Ryn feel like a little kid away at summer camp. He arches an eyebrow at Joan, wondering what the other boy wants. “I just couldn’t sleep,” he replies.

Joan probably knows exactly how Ryn is feeling, and that drives Ryn crazy. He doesn’t want anyone else knowing his business. His problems are his own and he never asked Joan to step in and try to help him with them. Besides, Joan seems to think Ryn needs assistance and that is just untrue, plain and simple. Ryn has everything under control and Joan is the one who just jumped into all of this without thinking.

“I see,” Joan says without calling Ryn on his lie. “I couldn’t sleep either. All I could think about was my parents and how upset my mom was about me leaving. It’s weird to be away from home, especially to be so far away. And it’s not like this is an easy job, is it? My mom kept saying she was afraid of something happening to me.”

“My brother is the same,” Ryn admits, cracking a smile. “Of course, he would know. But this is my dream, and he knows that too. I just hate to hurt him.”

There’s just something about Joan that makes him easy to talk to. Ryn was determined not to like him but it just isn’t working out that way. If he spends more than five minutes with the guy, he finds himself drawn in.

“Mr. Dox seems like he’s pretty tough,” Joan replies thoughtfully. “Besides, he was a Legionnaire himself, and one of the most famous. I’ve seen his statue, you know. The one they made when they thought he was dead; him and the others.”

“My Aunt Imra and Uncle Garth,” Ryn supplies, nodding, “and Aunt Jasmin, Uncle Cham… And Ultra Boy, Umbra, Monstress, Element Lad… The last two actually did die. My Uncle Garth kind of did too. It’s weird, isn’t it? Querl’s seen a lot of people die. He must be freaking out about me joining.”

It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it from this angle before. Of course he knows that Querl has good reasons for not wanting Ryn to join the Legion.

“Why are you here then?” Joan asks pointedly. “If you’re so worried about what your brother thinks, why did you join?”

Ryn thinks about his response very carefully, wondering how much he can really trust Joan with. It’s a long story and he quickly decides that he doesn’t want Joan to know all of it. He settles for telling his teammate the abridged version.

“After they took me from my mother, I remember the day Querl and Lyle came to get me,” he says, smiling fondly at the memory of that day. “They took me to the Superman museum in Metropolis, and then they told me that they were heroes too. I was so small and scared, but they made me feel safe. They were my heroes. So I knew from that day that I wanted to be a hero too.”

Joan smiles at him brightly and nods, as though he understands completely. “You know, I wish I had such an impressive reason for joining. The truth is, I didn’t even know when the tryouts were until your sister told me. I just had this feeling that it was the thing to do. And I always trust my feelings, they’re usually right.”

“Intuition as well as empathy?” Ryn questions curiously. He supposes it’s not out of the realm of possibility. “Are you sure your parents are both human?”

“They claim to be,” Joan says with a laugh. “But I’ve always felt different, and when my abilities manifested, well… That just proved it. I spent a while thinking I was some sort of freak. But your family has always been an inspiration to me.”

Surprised, Ryn laughs. “My family, an inspiration? Really, Muse, you don’t know us very well. It’s a miracle we haven’t blown ourselves up yet.”

The delighted grin that spreads across Joan’s face is even more surprising. “In comparison, my family is so dull,” he claims. “My mother is a secretary and my father drives a bus. They work hard but they never did what they wanted to. Whatever they wanted out of life, they just let it them pass by. That’s not me, though. I decided that if I want something, the only thing to do is to go for it.”

“Really?” Ryn sits back in his chair, suddenly feeling a little wary of his teammate. “And what do you want out of life, Muse?”

“What your parents have,” Joan says honestly. “I want to settle down with the person I love and raise a family one day.”

Having a family has never been something Ryn has put a lot of thought into. To be fair, relationships are usually far from his mind. Only it seems like today he has been bombarded with such thoughts. Laurie wants to hold his hand and she giggles when he looks her direction. Joan’s gaze keeps lingering on him like _Ryn_ is that thing he wants and plans to go for.

The dim lights in the cafeteria suddenly brighten. Ryn looks up to see what’s going on and sees several older Legionnaires entering. They’re led by a handsome young man with dark hair and eyes.

“Party time!” the young man announces. He slaps a hand against the counter, causing Mr. Kem, the resident cook, to jump slightly and frown.

“Cub, really, you’re going to get into trouble _again_ ,” Mr. Kem warns with a suffering sigh. He shrugs and reaches under the bar. A moment later, dance music fills the room.

The young man, Cub, grins broadly. “Alright, folks, let’s have a little fun!”

Ryn feels like he’s intruding, suddenly, as he watches Cub and his friends clearing away tables and chairs to make a dance floor. He glances at Joan to see what the other boy thinks of all of this, but Joan is watching the dancers with a smile on his face.

“Is this allowed?” Ryn asks, worrying at his bottom lip. “Aren’t they going to get in trouble?”

“Mr. Kem turned the music on for them,” Joan reasons. “It must not be too bad.”

Cub suddenly approaches their table and Ryn stiffens, wondering what the older Legionnaire wants with them. “Fresh meat! Hey there, boys. The name’s Cub Wazzo-Na, codename Ultra Kid. And you, little man,” he points at Ryn, “there’s no doubt who you are; Ryn Dox, also known as Brainiac 6. Man, I used to get in so much trouble with your brother. He does _not_ like people tampering with his experiments.”

“You know Querl?” Ryn furrows his brow. Cub doesn’t look old enough to know anything about Querl. He can’t be more than twenty years old.

“Boy, do I!” Cub laughs loudly, his hands on his hips. “Brainy’s the one who eventually got my age acceleration sorted out. Of course, now I have the opposite problem. But hey, being eternally young definitely beats growing old before my time, right?”

“One would think,” Ryn agrees, though he’s still confused.

Cub focuses on Joan and thrusts a hand out to the other boy. “I don’t know you, though. Welcome to the Legion!”

“Codename Muse,” says Joan with an amused smile, shaking Cub’s hand. “You can call me Joan, though; Joan Walter.”

“Where are you from, Joan? Earthside, like Baby Brainy here?”

Ryn bristles a little at that nickname. That’s terrible. Are people actually going to call him that? Grife, he’ll never live that name down if it sticks.

“We’re from the same hometown, actually,” Joan admits.

“Hey, hometown sweethearts!” Cub seems far too excited about this. “Let me guess; you couldn’t bear to be parted.”

“Actually, we’re not that close,” Ryn tries to object. “I hardly know him. He goes to school with my sister.”

However, Cub seems to have lost interest in that topic. He grabs Joan’s hand and tugs him to his feet. “Come on, boys, you can dance, right? We do this once a week. Technically, we’re not supposed to, but Cosmic Boy turns a blind eye.”

Joan shrugs his shoulders, still smiling. “I like to dance when I have the opportunity. What about you, Ryn?”

“Oh, no, I don’t dance,” Ryn objects, but Joan grabs him by the hand and pulls him up. “No, really, I can’t dance. I’ve never danced before. Muse!”

But Joan ignores his pleas and drags him out to the dance floor. The other boy starts to hum along with the song that’s playing, his hips swaying just a little. The other Legionnaires on the floor greet them with smiles and cheers, apparently excited to have new dancers in their midst. What they don’t realize is that Ryn is pretty sure he was born without a sense of rhythm. He’s going to look like an absolute dork. Everyone here is going to laugh at him, and probably call him “Baby Brainy,” and it’s going to be so embarrassing. What a first impression.

“I am never going to forgive you for this,” he hisses at Joan. “Seriously, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Relax and just follow my lead.” Joan’s hands settle on Ryn’s waist. “I’ll do all the work. All you have to do is move with me. Okay?"

There is nothing for it, Ryn supposes, if he doesn’t want to look like a stick in the mud or make a fool of himself. Trying to ignore the nagging sense of dread in the back of his mind, he gives in and lets Joan guide him across the floor, clumsily trying to match the other boy’s steps. Even though he is certain he is doing terribly, Joan seems pleased.

Maybe he’s just happy to have his hands on Ryn. The thought makes Ryn cringe.

“Why are you so determined to be friends with me?” Ryn asks quietly as the two of them sway together. “I never even remember your name.”

“I’ve always been fascinated by you,” Joan replies. “Ever since the first day I saw you, I’ve wanted to get to know you.”

“That’s more than a little creepy,” Ryn assures him. His skin crawls a little. What is with this kid? Doesn’t he realize that Ryn isn’t interested?

“Sorry.” Joan gazes into Ryn’s eyes, his expression serene. “I don’t mean to seem creepy. I’ve just admired you for a long time. You’re smart and beautiful and kind… I’ll admit that I’m more than a little smitten with you.”

Grife, is Joan trying to ask him out? Ryn coughs and looks away, trying to think of how to respond without giving Joan the wrong idea. “I, uh… I’m flattered, I guess, but…”

“Take your time,” Joan tells him firmly. “But can you at least tell me if I have a shot at all?”

Ryn’s first reaction should be a resounding no, but that’s not what he says. No, what he says is, “I have insufficient data at this time to make that sort of conclusion.”

As soon as he says it, he curses himself for being an absolute idiot. What would Laurie think? Laurie’s so pretty and she really likes Ryn. Ryn likes her back. Of course Joan doesn’t have a shot. But the grin on Joan’s face is so wide that Ryn can’t bring himself to take it back.

So he dances instead, and decides he’ll let himself worry later.

TBC


	5. A Matter of Time

**Chapter 5: A Matter of Time**

_I don’t know just where I’m going_

_But it feels good to be walking_

_After all this time of wanting_

_Safe and sound inside the talking_

_How did I find myself here_

_Counting on a matter of time?_

**_-Gabe Dixon, “Lucky To Be Lost”_  
**

Querl gets a call from Grace’s school one morning. It’s not actually a very unusual occurrence. Grace never acts out but her teachers don’t understand her, and many of them have developed rivalries with her simply because people don’t tend to enjoy being outsmarted by little girls. It’s commonplace for the school to call and want to discuss Grace’s “social acclimation” or something else along those lines. Usually Querl just brushes it off. He’s not going to make Grace attend public school very much longer.

“Mr. Dox, I’m sorry to call you like this,” it’s the school nurse, “but I think you should come and pick up Grace. She’s not feeling well today.”

“Not feeling well?” Querl frowns, trying to understand. “Is she sick?”

“Not really sick… Well, I think you should just come and pick her up, if you can. She needs her mom right now.”

Querl leaves the clinic in the hands of his assistants and has to force himself not to speed as he drives to Grace’s school. He’s imagining all kinds of worrisome scenarios. Maybe Grace has been in a fight and she was injured. Or maybe she has come down with a terrible illness. Whatever the reason, it can’t be good if the nurse thinks he should take Grace home.

When he gets to the school and finds the nurse’s station, he’s greeted by a friendly middle-aged woman he assumes is the nurse he talked to on the phone. She smiles as she ushers him into the room, shaking his hand. “Grace is lying down right now. I gave her some painkillers but she could probably use a hot water bottle or a heating pad to help.”

“Help with what?” Querl asks, but he’s distracted when he sees his daughter curled up in a ball on one of the beds in the room. He waves the nurse off and hurries to Grace’s side. He reaches out and touches her shoulder, leaning down to look at her face. “Princess, are you alright? What’s wrong?"

Grace looks up at him and sniffles. She looks so vulnerable, and it scares Querl. He has never seen his little girl look like that before. “Momma,” she moans pitifully. “I started my period.”

“What?” Querl’s brain fails him for a moment. When Grace’s words finally compute, he still can’t quite believe it. Grace has started her menstrual cycle? But she’s so young. That can’t be right. She should have two or three more years before she has to worry about this sort of thing. “Grace, are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Grace admits quietly, and Querl can tell that she’s embarrassed. “I just want to go home, please.”

“Okay, of course,” Querl agrees, nodding his head rapidly. He’s panicking already. How is he supposed to handle this situation? Lyle is away for something work related (Querl forgot what it was, exactly) and that means that Querl is on his own with this situation. When Ryn started going through changes, Lyle was the one who primarily handled things and explained it all to the boy. Querl isn’t good with this sort of thing. Sure, he could give Grace a very detailed, technical explanation about it but… That’s not what she needs. She needs a mom.

Unfortunately, despite his official family title, Querl doesn’t make a great mom. For one thing, he cannot relate to the female gender at all, except in regards to the horrors and wonders of childbirth. How is he supposed to talk his daughter through this very serious change in her body when he has no idea what she’s going through?

The one thing he is good at, though, it doting on his little girl. He takes Grace home and lets her curl up with a blanket on the couch while he prepares her a hot water bottle and a tonic for the cramps. When he hands her the hot water bottle, she gratefully takes it from him and presses it against her middle. She eyes the tonic suspiciously.

“Herbal,” Querl tells her reassuringly. “It’s fairly bland and it will help with the pain. I used to make these for your Aunt Ayla.”

Apparently convinced, Grace takes the tonic and quickly downs the whole thing.

“How are you feeling?” Querl asks her, sitting down beside his daughter. He places a comforting hand on her leg. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really,” Grace mumbles, turning her face to the wall. “The nurse already told me a lot of stuff I already knew. She wouldn’t stop talking about it. It was so embarrassing. I wish it hadn’t happened at school like that.”

“I’m sorry, Princess,” Querl murmurs, feeling guilty. He has insisted on Grace going to public school for the social interaction, but she has been expressing her dissatisfaction with it lately. He should have just let her stay home. “This is a difficult thing to deal with. I’m sure you were very uncomfortable.”

Grace nods in agreement. “And the nurse kept saying ‘your mom will be able to help’ and stuff like that. I tried to explain to her that just because you’re my mom doesn’t mean you’re, you know… female at all. I don’t think she really understands how it works.”

If anything could have made Querl feel any worse about this situation, that’s it. A terrible weight settles on him. No matter how hard he tries to be a good parent, a person his children trust, he _can’t_ really be their mother.

“Would you talk to your Aunt Imra about it?” Querl asks hesitantly. “I can call her for you. I’m sure that sometimes you… have questions about being a woman. My answers, while they would be scientifically accurate, may not be the… emotional comfort you need. That’s not to say you can’t talk to me, of course. I’m right here if you want to talk and I’ll try not to be… awkward and embarrassing.”

“Oh, Mom.” Grace smiles and leans over to kiss his nose. “It’s okay. I know I can talk to you.”

The way Grace smiles makes her look just like Lyle. Querl can’t help but smile in return. His daughter has inherited her father’s patient, kind personality, just like he wanted her too. She has no idea how lucky she is, how beautiful she is, and Querl could not be prouder of her.

“Right, of course.” Querl smiles back and reaches out a hand to fondly pet her hair. She’s his pride and joy, the best thing he’s ever been responsible for creating. Maybe he’s not always the best parent, but Lyle picks up the slack and Grace has grown to be such a kind and thoughtful girl. “You look like your father, you know?”

Her smile falters and she looks away. She raises her hands and observes them critically. “I look more like you.”

Querl laughs sharply, because it’s so untrue. Grace has Lyle’s hair, eyes, smile, and body stature. She has her father’s personality and his level head. “You’re the spitting image of him, Princess.”

“I’m _green_ , Mom.” Grace throws her hands up in exasperation. “Dad is human. He looks human. Not me.”

Taken aback, Querl isn’t sure what to say at first. He opens his mouth, but closes it again and looks away from her. He takes a deep breath before he finally speaks. “You _are_ human; half, anyway. I named you after your father for a reason. You’re so much more than what other people see of you on the surface.”

“People only care about what’s on the surface,” his daughter growls back. Her face is set in an angry scowl. “You should hear what they say about you and Ryn – especially you. Every day, people say things, even teachers. I get so tired of it. Sometimes I wish… I wish I didn’t look like this.”

“You wish you didn’t look like me?” Querl feels a sharp pang in his chest. Grace, his beautiful Grace, is ashamed of him? This is not an eventuality that he ever prepared himself for. Somehow, he always just assumed that his children would always be happy with _him_ , at least.

Grace shakes her head urgently, eyes wide. “No, Mom, I didn’t mean it like that,” she says quickly. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that, okay? I’m not ashamed of you. I just… It’s hard being Coluan in a place where most people are human. It’s hard being a Brainiac. People treat me differently. Sometimes I just wish I could blend in better, that’s all.”

Even though he understands what his daughter is saying, Querl still feels more than a little hurt. Yes, he knows people look down on Coluans, especially the Dox family, but Querl has always been proud of who he is. It’s a gift to have this intelligence and to be able to use it to help people, first in the Legion and now at his clinic. He just wishes he could explain that to Grace.

“When I was your age,” he says gently, “I was exiled from Colu. There was an accident – a man died – it wasn’t my fault but they didn’t know how to control me. So they sent me away. That’s when I went to live with Mr. Brande. It was really hard to be the odd one out. No matter where I went, people made fun of me or treated me unfairly. But in the long run, it made me stronger. You can’t let people drag you down, Grace. You are a beautiful, brilliant girl and you will do amazing things. Your father and I love you so much. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Mom…” Grace’s lower lip trembles and she presses close to his side. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Gracie,” Querl whispers, his throat tight with emotion. “Everything is going to be alright, I promise you.”

\--

The next morning, Querl wakes up nauseous and barely makes it to the bathroom before he vomits everything in his stomach from the evening before into the toilet. Confused and only half awake, he stays kneeling in the floor for a few long minutes, breathing heavily.

He wishes Lyle was home. If he’s getting sick, he needs Lyle to pick up the slack with Grace. There’s no way he’s sending his little girl back to school while she’s in pain, and he knows Grace will be glad for the time off, but he wishes Lyle was here to talk to her. She responds better to Lyle, and so does Ryn.

By the time he has dressed himself and is heading downstairs to make breakfast, Grace is already up watching TV in the living room. She glances at him and smiles weakly as he walks past her. Querl pauses and kisses the top of her head. “Feeling any better, Princess?”

“Can I have another tonic?” Grace asks. “It helped yesterday but the cramps are bad again today.”

“Absolutely; I’ll be right back.”

Querl prepares a tonic and a light breakfast for himself and Grace, which he takes to the living room. “Will you be okay at home by yourself today?” he asks. “I have to go in to work, but it’s a short day. I’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll be okay, Mom,” Grace promises. “Don’t worry about me.”

He tries not to worry, but he spends a great deal of his time worrying about Grace and Ryn. He’s never sure if he’s a good enough parent, or if he’s giving his children everything they need. Now Ryn is in the Legion and Querl spends every waking moment terrified that something is going to happen to his little brother. The Legion is dangerous.

So it’s almost laughable to think that not worrying about them is even a possibility for Querl. But he goes through the motions, goes to work, and tries to stay focused and not obsess over things he can’t do anything about.

The clinic wears him out and he comes home tired. He checks on Grace, finds her in the same place he left her, and makes her another tonic before he collapses in his bedroom for a long nap.

Some hours later, he wakes to the sound of another person moving around the room. He cracks his eyes open to quietly watch his husband trying to undress without making any noise and failing. It makes him smile that Lyle doesn’t want to wake him up. Lyle is such a considerate mate.

“Welcome back,” he murmurs as he pushes himself up on his elbows. “What time is it?”

“Just 10,” says Lyle. He sits down on the bed and leans over to kiss Querl in greeting. “I talked to Grace already. She told me about yesterday; said you seemed tired. How are you dealing?”

Querl shrugs his shoulders. “It’s just strange,” he admits quietly. “She’s my little girl. And this is too early. It’s unusual for Coluans to enter puberty before the age of 14. I’m sure there are numerous factors to consider but it just worries me. I’m not sure she’s ready.”

“She’s going to be alright, B,” Lyle promises him. “Kids have to grow up. That’s just how the universe works.”

Whatever response Querl might have had to that is quickly cut off by a nauseous feeling that sends him running to the bathroom again. He struggles to untangle himself from the blankets and makes a mad dash to the toilet, where he once again vomits up everything he has eaten.

“Brainy?” Lyle follows him into the bathroom, frowning. “Are you sick?”

“Maybe,” Querl admits reluctantly. “I’ve been feeling a bit off for a few days but I didn’t start throwing up until today. Maybe I’ve caught a virus at the clinic.”

“Back to bed with you, then,” Lyle says, helping Querl to his feet. He directs Querl gently back to the bed and helps him lie down. “I’m going to go check on Grace and make sure she’s doing alright. Then I’ll come to bed, alright? Take it easy, B.”

Querl just nods and snuggles against the pillow, still feeling drowsy despite the several hours of sleep he has already gotten in. Odd, he thinks. Maybe he really is sick.

\--

He wakes up the next morning nauseous again. However, the only other symptom he seems to have is a general lack of energy. He’s not sure what to make of it. It’s almost like when he was pregnant with Grace.

As soon as he thinks that, it hits him like a ton of bricks. He has to grab hold of the sink for support. Could that really be the case? Could he be pregnant again? There have been incidents reported, of course, of individuals who used the fertility drug that Querl used experiencing a random resurgence of fertility some years later. It has been a long time since Querl used it, and he stopped worrying about it probably five years after Grace was born. It hadn’t seemed likely at the time.

He cann’t tell Lyle right away – he has to make sure that he's right. That is simple enough. He’ll do the appropriate tests at the clinic today. Then there is the matter of telling Grace and Ryn. How will they take the news? Knowing Ryn, the boy will probably be excited. Grace is another story. She’s used to being the baby and she’s going through some difficult changes right now. She might not take it well at all.

The phone rings. Querl answers it with a sharp, “Hello?”

“Mr. Dox? This is Grace’s principal, Julian Hayes. It seems Grace is absent from school again today and her teachers are concerned.”

“Grace isn’t feeling well,” Querl says simply. He’s in no mood to deal with the principle – the man is an idiot and Querl has no patience with him.

“Yes, the nurse explained the situation, but I’m afraid that three days of missed classes seems a bit excessive,” Hayes replies. “She’s not actually sick and she’ll have to learn how to deal with this now, considering she can’t take off an entire week every month.”

Querl glares at the ceiling and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Hayes, with all due respect, I believe it is best for Grace to stay home while she adjusts to this change. She’s very young and it’s stressful for her.”

“Grace is eleven, Mr. Dox,” the principle replies. “It’s a very normal age for girls to begin experiencing changes.”

“Grace is not _normal_ ,” Querl snaps irritably. “I believe that of the two of us, I am far more informed on what is normal for Coluans. Coluans normally do not enter puberty as such a young age.”

He hears an audible sigh on the other line. “She’s only half Coluan, Mr. Dox, and you made a choice to raise her in a human culture. I’m afraid that Grace needs to learn to fit in – being different can’t become an excuse for her to neglect her education.”

“Mr. Hayes, do you honestly think I enrolled Grace at your school because I thought she needed the _education_?” Querl demands incredulously. “I have impressed on you and your coworkers repeatedly that Grace is not there to learn mathematics or Earth history. She is far beyond anything your school could teach her. I’m sure you know this; you have all of her test scores at your fingertips.”

This battle he keeps fighting with Grace’s school is wearing him out. They don’t understand his child and they don’t care. Querl wants nothing more than to tell them all to go to hell. Maybe he should; maybe Grace would be better off at home.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Dox, but I think you are doing your daughter a disservice by letting her skip classes and not encouraging her to take school seriously,” the principle says.

Querl laughs sharply before he thinks to stop himself. He covers his mouth but he chuckles behind his hand. After taking a moment to compose himself, he finally replies, “Mr. Hayes, I believe that we have reached an impasse. My daughter is unique, and if it is impossible for your institution to be understanding of that, then I believe she will be better off at home. Thank you for the call.”

He hangs up before the man can respond. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Grace standing in the doorway of the room, watching him.

“How much did you hear?” he asks her, raising an eyebrow.

“All of it,” Grace replies calmly. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anything for my princess,” Querl says with a smile, feeling a little more confident about everything. This is for the best. Grace will be happier at home.

He leaves Grace with her father as he sets out for work. Lyle will be able to keep Grace comfortable and entertained – now that his husband is home, Querl is much less worried. There’s only one thing he’s uncertain about now.  

When he gets the results back for the tests, Querl isn’t sure how to feel about it. He was right; he’s pregnant. That’s not a terrible thing at all. It’s not like he hates the idea of having another baby, though he always swore that he’d make Lyle carry it if they ever decided to have another child. No, he’s just not sure the timing is right.

At home, he waits until Grace has gone to bed for the evening, before he brings the matter up while he and Lyle are washing the dishes. “Lyle? How do you feel about having another baby?”

Lyle pauses what he is doing and looks at Querl levelly. “That’s an odd question coming from you.”

“It’s just a question,” Querl says, trying to play it off. “I’m just curious.”

“Is this about Ryn moving out?” Lyle wants to know, frowning. “Brainy, I know it’s hard to see him growing up but you have to just deal with that. Kids grow up. We can’t change that.”

“That’s not what it’s about,” Querl snaps irritably. “Yes, I’m worried about Ryn and I miss him, but I am only asking you a simple question. Would you be opposed to having another child?”

“I’m not sure if right now is a good time,” Lyle says, going back to drying the dishes. “I think we should wait.”

That’s not the response Querl was expecting. He looks away from Lyle, trying to collect himself. The timing is bad, he already knows that, but surely Lyle realizes why Querl is asking. There’s no changing the course of things now unless…

“Well… I suppose I could terminate it, then.”

Lyle drops the plate he was holding and it busts loudly on the floor. He makes no move to clean up the mess it has made; he just stares at Querl, dumbfounded. “Brainy? Are you telling me that you’re…?”

“Pregnant?” Querl finishes for him with a thin, forced smile. “Yes, I am pregnant, Lyle. I checked at the clinic today. However, if you don’t think the time is right…”

“Brainy!” Lyle suddenly grabs hold of Querl and turns him around. He looks into Querl’s eyes solemnly. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” Querl replies quietly. “I wouldn’t joke about this.”

A moment later, Lyle is soundly kissing him and Querl realizes that he was worried about absolutely nothing.

\--

Grace reacts… interestingly. She stares at Querl for a few long moments, then sighs and reaches out to him, grasping his face in her hands and pulling him forward until their foreheads are touching. She smiles at him serenely, just like her father, and gently pets his hair.

“I’m happy for you, Mom,” she says, “but if you need to talk about it, you can talk to me. I know it wasn’t planned.”

“It wasn’t,” Querl agrees softly. “It happens sometimes with people who use the drug I used when I conceived you.”

He doesn’t tell her how scared he is to be pregnant again. The second time is supposed to be easier but being pregnant reminds Querl of everything that happened nearly twelve years ago, and all the pain and hurt he had packed away into the corners of his mind. Grace doesn’t know about it and Querl would just as soon not tell her.

“What are you going to name it?” Grace asks, finally letting him go. “Or is it too soon?”

Querl reclines comfortably on the couch and shrugs his shoulders. “Your father and I have talked about it briefly. We haven’t thought of any names for a girl but I think we’ve both decided on Jack for a boy, in honor of a friend of your dad’s who died. You would have been named that if you had been a boy.”

“Really?” Grace looks intrigued. “Dad has never mentioned a friend named Jack.”

“His name was Jacques,” Querl corrects her. “He died when he and your father were both very young. I think it’s a sensitive subject.”

Actually, Querl doesn’t know the whole story. He knows that Jacques died and that Lyle blames himself for it, somehow. Lyle doesn’t seem to be very comfortable with sharing that particular trauma, though he is open with Querl about almost everything else.

“Jack is a cute name,” Grace says. “I think it will be a boy.”

“What makes you say that?” Querl asks, arching an eyebrow.

“Just a feeling.”

Querl snorts and shakes his head. “You get that from your father, not me.”

“Oh, come on you know you believe in,” Grace wiggles her fingers, “ _magic_.”

“I believe in cold, hard facts,” Querl says stubbornly. “Always have, always will.”

“Knock on wood when you say that, you know Nura or Shikari will pop in for a visit if you don’t,” says Lyle as he comes up from the basement. He leans over the back of the couch and kisses the top of Querl’s head fondly. “How’s the little mother feeling, hmm?”

Looking up at his husband with a stern glare, Querl replies, “You know I don’t have any problem with killing the father of my child, right?”

“Okay, okay, you’re not little,” Lyle agrees, placating him. Then he gets a devilish smirk on his face. “Well, you won’t be for long, anyway.”

The pillow Querl was resting on becomes a trajectory weapon and Lyle narrowly dodges it before dashing from the room, laughing loudly. “You won’t kill me!” he declares from the kitchen. “Grace won’t indulge you in foot rubs and back massages! And who will drive you places when you stop fitting behind the wheel?”

“You’re dead, Norg!” Querl growls, but he doesn’t feel like getting up and chasing his husband down. He’ll let the overly confident twerp live to die another day.

Actually, he’s surprised by how excited he is to be pregnant again. Yes, it’s terrifying too and he’s sure he’s going to give in to the urge to design a brand new security system for the house, just to be on the safe side. But a new baby… The thought of having another little one to baby and coddle, well, it just really appeals to him, especially now that he’s keenly feeling the absence of his oldest child.

He lets his hands rest against his still flat middle, and he smiles when he thinks of how the child will make its presence known in the next few months; another baby that is half of him and half of Lyle. He wonders what this child will be like. Will it be a boy or a girl? He’s kind of hoping for a boy. Jack Norg; he likes the sound of that.

“You’ll give me foot massages, won’t you, Grace?” he asks his daughter, because he knows she is always his greatest ally. “And back massages?”

“That’s what husbands are for, Mom,” Grace replies calmly and she changes the channel on the TV. “You probably shouldn’t kill him.

Querl grins and shakes his head. “Daddy’s girl,” he accuses lightly. But he’s glad that Grace is her father’s child, and that he has this little family unit, and now there’s another one on the way. It’s so far away from what he always thought his life would be like, and it’s perfect.

~TBC


	6. No Idea That I'm Even Here

Chapter 6: No Idea That I'm Even Here

_I was dreaming we were running from a city burning down._

_Made a break, a new escape, and let the world crash down._

_Now there's a piece of me, tells me I shouldn't leave every time I see your face._

_Because every time you come around, well, you take my breath away._

_**\- All Time Low, “No Idea”** _

“First things first, cadets, you will always obey orders. I don't care if you see an older Legionnaire go off in their own direction, that does not make it okay. Any of you beginners that I catch doing that will be, without fail, suspended until appropriate disciplinary measures have been taken. Repeat offensives can and _will_ result in expulsion from the Legion, or at the very least will result in prolonged suspension and corrective training courses.”

Joan, Laurie, and the two new recruits that Ryn hasn't really met yet are listening to Cosmic Boy intently. Joan is even taking notes on his Omnicom. Normally, Ryn would be just as attentive, but he's heard this speech from his Uncle Rokk before and can't really take it seriously. He knows his Uncle Rokk is not really as serious about everything as he tries to pretend that he is.

Even less impressed at the show is Marc, who hangs back from the group with Ryn and occasionally rolls his eyes at something Uncle Rokk says. Marc has spent even more time with Rokk than Ryn has and isn't the slightest bit intimidated by him.

Marc nudges Ryn with his elbow. “Hey. Did you hear? Aunt Jasmin is pregnant again. My moms say that's why Uncle Rokk's all super paranoid about the new recruits.”

“Oh? I hadn't heard yet.”

Ryn doesn't get to spend all that much time with Uncle Rokk and Aunt Jasmin. They have a four year-old boy Ryn has only met a couple of times named Zakk, but Rokk and Jasmin had been trying unsuccessfully for several years to have a child by the time they had Zakk. Aunt Jasmin had a few miscarriages, according to Querl, so of course Uncle Rokk would be super paranoid about a new pregnancy.

“He's full of crap, though,” Marc continues. “Who does he think he's kidding? He'd never expel any of us from the Legion.”

“We're not technically 'cadets' either,” Ryn adds. “The others seem to be taking this seriously, though.”

“Hey, watch this. This should liven things up.”

Marc forms a tiny ball of electricity on his finger and carefully aims it at Laurie. Before Ryn can stop him, the Winathian boy lets the bolt go, zapping Laurie squarely on the behind.

The Daxamite girl squeals in surprise and slight pain, nearly leaping out of her skin. Then she whirls around and fixes Marc with a deadly glare.

“Marc Ranzz, I will so kill you dead!” she exclaims. “I can't believe you!”

“What? It wasn't me, it was Ryn,” Marc replies with an innocent shrug of his shoulders. “Come on, Vega, what would I do something like that for?”

“Ryn did not do anything of the sort, you nass! Do you think I can't beat the hell out of you, you insufferable sprock?! Don't blame your perverted crap on one of the few decent guys in the universe!”

At that, Ryn feels his cheeks heat up from embarrassment. Laurie thinks he's a decent guy? Wow, who knew such a simple phrase could make a guy feel so good about himself? And geez, Laurie is so gorgeous when she's mad. He doesn't think he'd mind even if her anger was directed at him, because she lights up like the sun, full of fiery passion.

“Boys and girls, that's enough!” Uncle Rokk says, snapping his fingers to get their attention again. “Now is not the time for petty arguments. Shockwave, remember that you are expected to maintain mature conduct as a member of the Legion. Vega, try not to lose your temper so easily. We are here to learn today. Alright, who wants to see the shuttle you've all been assigned for transport?”

In favor of seeing what they all anticipate to be the coolest ride any of them has ever been in, the dispute between Marc and Laurie is quickly forgotten. Rokk leads them to the hanger, where the Legion cruisers and shuttles are docked. They pass by majestic shuttles and sleek cruisers, their anticipations growing with every beautiful machine they see.

Uncle Rokk stops the group in front of a shuttle that is probably about twenty years old and clearly has seen better days. The name painted on the side reads “Shuttle Bug.”

“Are you kidding me?” Marc demands, looking at the Shuttle Bug with dismay. “ _This_ is the shuttle we're assigned to? This thing is older than my grandma!”

“Don't be melodramatic, Shockwave, Mrs. Ranzz is quite spry for her age and so is the Shuttle Bug.” Uncle Rokk pats the shuttle's back end fondly. “It's one of the most reliable shuttles we've ever had, which is why we kept it instead of upgrading it. Granted, it doesn't have the speed or power that the newer models have but it's perfect for the minor missions you newbies will be sent on for the time being.”

Ryn has to admit that he's disappointed. Like the rest of the new Legionnaires, his vision of their shuttle was more impressive than the real thing has turned out to be. And what's this about being sent on minor missions? He doesn't want to be treated like a kid. When the Legion first started, Querl and Lyle were his age and they were handling serious, dangerous missions from the start.

Looks like he's Baby Brainiac after all. There's no way he's going to be taken seriously when he and his teammates show up for every mission in this gigantic dumpster with an engine and thrusters.

“I'm sure it can't be all that bad,” says the girl Ryn doesn't know, one of many candidates that came from Xanthu. She's been very eager to suck up to the older Legionnaires. “If it's safe and reliable, it can only be an asset to the team.”

There has to be a good reason Aunt Imra let this girl into the Legion, but Ryn is just not seeing it yet.

The boy from Imsk looks at the girl from Xanthu but doesn't say anything. He has been sullen and quiet since tryouts and he is usually with the girl but doesn't seem to support her when she opens her big mouth.

“Right you are!” calls out a voice that Ryn vaguely recognizes. A moment later, Cub Wazzo-Na jumps out of the open doors of the shuttle, landing squarely on his feet in front of them. “Just so you guys know, the Shuttle Bug is my girl and she's a beauty! She doesn't look like much on the outside but her motor still purrs like the day it came out of the factory. And lucky for you guys, I'll be piloting it for you and accompanying you on your missions as your senior guide. Who's ready for the grand tour?”

Ryn tries to keep his head down as they all board the shuttle, hoping that Cub won't notice him and say something embarrassing in front of the whole team. It's already hard enough that two of his team members don't like him or his friends because of their heritage. He'll lose even more respect in their eyes if Cub calls him that dumb name where they can hear him.

Of course, this is exactly what happens. Cub claps him on the shoulder, grinning broadly, and says, “Hey there, Baby Brainy. How's the Legion treating you?”

Ryn glances at the girl from Xanthu and the boy from Imsk out of the corner of his eyes and he sees the girl discretely snickering into her palm. This is so going to cause problems later on. If he can't earn his teammates' respect, how can he expect them to listen to him when they're all on missions together?

“My name is Brainiac 6,” he mutters to Cub under his breath. Cub just shrugs his shoulders and keeps grinning, so Ryn gives up with a sigh. “It's great so far. Except I think our team needs some opportunities to... bond.”

Cub rubs his hands together. “You're in luck, bro. The next few weeks are all about team building! Tell 'em, Cosmic Boy.”

“Uh, yes, team building,” Uncle Rokk agrees, though he gives Cub a look that plainly says the young man tries his patience. “First of all, I know you kids are eager to get out there and do some good in the world. You think you're prepared, and I'm sure you've all worked hard. However, you should know that I know how much training you all have right now and it's significant but you still have to start small. Today, you will be going to Metropolis with Ultra Kid, where you will be cleaning up litter.”

“What, are we on probation or something?” Marc grumbles, unimpressed with this plan. “Man, this blows.”

Uncle Rokk narrows his eyes at the Winathian. “One more word, Marc Ranzz, and you very well might find yourself on probation.”

Even though he still looks unhappy about it, Marc shuts his mouth. Laurie looks back at him and sticks her tongue out. Then she looks at Ryn and she smiles and waves her hand slightly.

Blushing, Ryn smiles and waves back to her.

He's never felt like this about someone before. In all honesty, the thought of  _relationships_ rarely ever crosses his mind. Like any healthy young man, he's had wet dreams and fantasies, but he doesn't think too hard about those things. The way he feels about Laurie is not necessarily something he has to bring all the way back to sex, and that's great, because sex still freaks him out. He doesn't like to dwell on the subject. It always ends up reminding him of seeing Querl after the attack, how Querl never really recovered from that, Querl saying that sometimes people use sex to hurt other people...

A hand on his shoulder brings Ryn out of his thoughts. Joan is watching him with a concerned expression, his touch light. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Shifting just out of Joan's reach, Ryn tries to force a smile. “Oh, I'm okay. Thanks.”

Joan smiles back, and he looks a little sad when he does. “Alright. You'll let me know if you're not?”

It's kind of sweet that Joan is so concerned for his well being. Ryn can't help being flattered that the human holds him in such high regard. His smile becomes a little more genuine. “Sure, but don't worry about me. I'm just fine.”

In order to assure the other boy that he indeed alright, he briefly lets his shoulder bump Joan's shoulder, then grins at him. Joan seems to accept this because his face lights up and he nods.

The “grand tour” of the Shuttle Bug does not take long. The inside is only slightly more impressive than the outside, but even though Ryn doesn't think it's fair that they're being treated like children, he does understand the reasoning. Slightly. He respects Uncle Rokk, anyway, but he hopes they graduate the beginner level pretty soon.

“Alright, I leave you all in Ultra Kid's capable hands,” Uncle Rokk says when they've covered the entirety of the Shuttle Bug's interior. “Remember, this is like a field trip. Cub is your guide and you are to do as he says, without question. I know Metropolis is nothing new for some of you but it's the first time that a few of you will have ever been. Take this assignment seriously. Caring for all the planets under U.P. Protection is part of the Legion's mission. I'll expect a written report from each of you by tomorrow morning, detailing the mission.”

Marc groans but doesn't otherwise say anything. A quick glance at his teammates tells Ryn that none of them are particularly happy about writing reports on this. Still, Ryn recognizes the assignment for what it is. On real missions, they'll be expected to compile detailed mission reports. This is just practice for the real thing and it happens to be something that Ryn is good at. He's been compiling his own mission reports since he was three.

“I'll help you with your report,” he tells Laurie softly as they locate seats on the shuttle. He reaches out and touches her hand. “It's not hard.”

Her fingers curl around his hand in response to the touch. “Thanks, Ryn, I'd love to study together.”

Ryn glances at Joan and notices that the human looks a bit put out about having to sit beside Marc instead of beside Ryn. He keeps looking over at Ryn and frowning. Similarly, Marc is shooting deadly glares at him, and Ryn presumes that this is because he and Laurie are holding hands. It's becoming obvious that Marc has a crush of his own and he doesn't care for Ryn giving Laurie so much attention. At least it's Laurie that is the object of Marc's affections because Ryn is frankly overwhelmed by all the attention he is getting from Laurie and Joan.

“Buckle up!” Cub calls from the front of the shuttle as he starts the machine. The Shuttle Bug's engine makes a loud noise that sounds suspiciously like a ton of gravel being dumped into a metal crate, and it lurches forward with a sickening jerk as the hanger bay opens.

“I've never been to Metropolis,” Laurie whispers to him. “What's it like?”

“Oh, it's kind of crowded and noisy,” Ryn replies. “But the Superman Museum is awesome. Maybe we can go and see it. I'd love to take you there.”

The look of wonder on Laurie's face tells Ryn that he is absolutely going to have to figure out how to get her to the Superman Museum today. The thought of sharing such an important place with her makes him feel nervous and happy at the same time.

“I love Superman,” she says, and forever cements Ryn's adoration of her.

“Me too,” he replies excitedly. “He's my idol.”

“It's so cool that you're descended from Brainiac. I mean, I know he's a villain and all, but you have such a great connection to Kal-El. I'm really jealous, you know?”

Ryn grins at her. “Hey, you have Kal-El's powers! That's way cooler.”

Could this girl be any more perfect? Ryn feels like this is fate, like he has finally found that fabled cosmic connection that he has read about. Is this true love? He thinks he could be happy with Laurie forever.

When the shuttle docks on Earth, Cub makes them walk out of the shuttle single file, checking their names off on his Omnicom one by one. Laurie and Ryn are the last ones off and Cub cheerfully marks them off as “Vega and Baby Brainy.” Ryn scowls at him.

“Alright, gang, gather around!” Cub puts his hands on his hips authoritatively. “This is an easy mission because you're all newbies, but we're training for the real deal. That means I'm going to give you a debrief before we head out there. You are to split up into groups of two. Never lose track of your buddy. I'm going to assign buddies, cause I'm in charge and that's just how it is. First up – Vega, you're with Ice Princess over here.”

“Hailstone,” says the girl from Xanthu.

“Whatever,” says Cub. “Sparky, you're with Munchkin.”

“Shockwave,” Marc corrects him.

“Shrink,” adds the boy from Imsk.

“Whatever,” says Cub again. He waves his hand at Ryn. “That leaves Baby Brainy and Emotional Lad. Now, you all have buddies. Grab a pair of gloves and a trash bag. You don't want to touch this stuff with your bare hands. Watch for cruisers, and keep an eye on your buddy. We'll do this for a couple of hours and then we'll break for lunch and maybe explore the city some before we head back. Are we clear?”

Laurie squeezes Ryn's hand briefly before she lets go. “I wish we could have been buddies,” she tells him. “At least neither of us got paired with Shockwave.”

“Aren't you friends with Marc?” Ryn asks her with a smile. “He's not such a bad guy.”

“I'm friends with him when he's not being a nass head,” Laurie says.

She throws a glare over her shoulder at Marc, who is already chatting with Shrink. The Imskian boy finally looks like he's interested in conversation and is quietly talking back.

“He's just a guy.” Ryn shrugs his shoulders. “What can you do about them? But hey, we'll hang out at lunch and maybe we really will get to see the Superman Museum.”

“You're a guy and you're awesome,” Laurie says with a pout. “Shockwave should take lessons on personality improvement from you.”

Ryn is flattered, but he knows that he'd set Marc up for failure if he had that kind of influence on the other boy. The last thing he wants to do is equip Marc with the tools to properly win Laurie's affections.

Their flirting is interrupted by Muse. He comes up with a smile on his face, apparently pleased by Cub's decision to pair them together. It's not that Ryn has a problem with being paired with Joan. He thinks that they're friends, at least. But Joan makes him uneasy and he's not really sure why. He chalks it up to the fact that he would rather be paired with Laurie.

“Howdy partner,” the human boy says, drawling just a little. He lifts two pairs of gloves and a trash bag to show Ryn. “Ready to take on the wild west?”

“See you, Ryn,” Laurie says reluctantly. She shuffles over to Hailstone, but casts a glance over her shoulder back at Ryn and Joan, and she looks a little puzzled.

Ryn's heart skips a beat. Can it be that Laurie knows about Joan's interest in him? He should probably tell her. But something stops him from seriously considering sharing that information with her. He's not sure how she would react. Maybe it's safer to keep it to himself.

“If you don't mind me saying so, you look good today,” Joan tells him once Laurie is out of earshot. “I like your uniform choice.”

“I've had a lot of time to think about what I want my uniform to look like,” Ryn replies. He can't help but feel flattered again. The truth is that he's never had many friends and he can't remember ever being the center of this much positive attention. “I like your symbol.”

“Thanks,” Joan replies proudly, puffing out his chest just a little. The Roman laurel wreath symbol really does look good, Ryn can admit. “History is my favorite subject.”

That makes Ryn laugh. “So you're really just a nerd. I see.”

“This coming from the ruler of all nerds,” Joan retorts, giving Ryn's shoulder a playful push.

“Excuse me, but I think my parents still hold that title,” Ryn replies, grinning despite himself. Joan is really a very nice guy, and fun to hang out with, he's discovering. Grace has always had nice things to say about the guy but Ryn has never paid much attention to Grace's friends. Maybe that was a mistake.

Joan pulls on his gloves with flourish. “Your parents are so cool. I have one of the personal computers that Mr. Norg designed. It's the best computer that anyone in my family has ever owned. Complete user interface and the fastest processor on Earth. I swear, it's like the thing has a mind of its own.”

“Maybe it does,” Ryn says and he smirks. “You never know with my parents.”

Working with Joan is pretty fun, even though working with Laurie would have been better. Joan is easy to get along with and laid back – Ryn can understand why he's one of Grace's only friends. His sister is turned a lot like Ryn himself, reclusive by nature even if she can fake being a social butterfly pretty well. She only keeps friends she really likes. Ryn wonders why he never got to know Joan better, considering he has Grace's seal of approval.

“Have you talked to Grace?” Joan asks. “I've tried to call her a couple of times but I think she's mad at me.”

Ryn gives Joan a lopsided smile. “Don't take it personally. It's me that she's mad at.” He picks up what appears to be an old soda bottle full of urine, thankful for his gloves, and quickly throws it in their trash bag. “She talks to me every night but Querl says she's not feeling well this week – they won't tell me why, I guess she's still moping about me joining the Legion.”

“I probably didn't help matters,” Joan admits. “She hates school and I always tried to keep her company there. And then I just rushed off to join the Legion with you. She's probably feeling like we've abandoned her. Your sister... She's a really important friend to me, Ryn. I don't want her to be upset with me.”

“It won't last long,” Ryn assures him. He lightly bumps shoulders with Joan again. “Thank you, by the way. For taking care of her at school. Most people don't understand her. Well, I mean, most people don't understand any of us. We're the village freaks. Sometimes I wonder why my parents thought living in Smallville would be a good idea.”

“You're not the village freaks,” Joan says firmly. “And by the way, I'm glad your parents brought you to Smallville. I wouldn't have met you and Grace if they hadn't. I'd still be trying to deal with my powers on my own, thinking there was no one else who could understand.”

How is it that both Laurie and Joan seem to be so good at making Ryn blush? Even his ears feel hot now. Being that important to someone is kind of terrifying. And truthfully, Joan and Laurie are wrong about him, not that they could be expected to know the truth. He is a freak: a freak who was addicted to his mother's abuse, who tried to hurt himself when he didn't have her beatings to fill that hole, a freak who spent years in therapy learning the difference between right and wrong.

They wouldn't like him nearly so much if they knew the truth about him.

“I'm glad Grace has a friend like you,” he tells Joan, and he means it. Grace deserves good friends to look out for her. Grace is perfect in every way. Ryn is the one who's still screwed up after all these years.

–

Working alongside Ryn is fun but when lunch rolls around, it's a different story. Joan finds himself the outcast once more when Ryn and Laurie are reunited. The two join hands almost immediately, and after that everything is like a cheesy chick flick movie, with the two of them giggling at each others' bad jokes and complimenting each other, and making eyes at each other. They sit together at a small table near the window, while Joan ends up sitting with Shockwave at a booth close by, trying to watch them without being too obvious about it.

Shockwave, of course, notices that Joan can't take his eyes off the happy couple. “Don't even bother pining about it, dude. Those two are gonna' hook up and there's nothing you or me could do about it. You see the way they look at each other? That's pure adoration, sugar sweet puppy love. They'll be one of those couples that are so perfect it makes everybody gag just to watch them – not that it doesn't already make me gag.”

His words only serve to depress Joan further. Is it really so hopeless? Ryn said there was a chance of something happening between them. Well, actually, he'd said he “had insufficient data” to say one way or the other. Joan had taken that was good news when Ryn had first said it, but he thinks now that he'd prefer to know for sure if he had any hope of winning Ryn's heart.

“Like I said, they're going to get together,” Marc continues, even though Joan hasn't acknowledged him at all. “Stop looking like someone microwaved your kitten. I didn't say that they would stay together, did I?”

Joan perks up slightly and turns to him. “What do you mean?”

“I think you and I want similar things, Mr. Walter.” The Winathian leans forward on the table, lowering his voice a little. “What I mean is, neither of us wants those two in a relationship. Now, given that they're already pretty much dating, our only choice is to break them up. Are you following?”

Nodding, Joan replies, “I think I see what you mean but how do we break them up?”

“Easy, we just present them with more exciting alternatives,” says Marc. “I mean, they think they like each other but the two of them are way too safe. See what I mean? Eventually, they're both going to need something more out of a relationship than holding hands and giggling. And then you and I are the sexy forbidden fruit. We just have to make sure we're the ones they turn to and try to keep them from getting brave enough to try anything with each other.”

Marc's plan is like a punch to the gut for Joan. “You mean... we have to seduce them?”

The thought of anyone seducing Ryn sends shivers down Joan's spine, and not in a good way. Joan doesn't think Ryn is ready to be  _intimate_ with anyone. He's surprised that Ryn is so smitten with Laurie, to be honest, because Ryn has spent years hiding out by himself on the Kent farm, never letting anyone get too close. Trying to seduce someone who's so innocent about such things just seems wrong. Not to mention that Joan has no experience at all either, and his seduction technique would probably be terrible.

“What's wrong?” Marc asks. “Don't you want him like that or did I read you wrong?”

“No, I... I want him any way I can have him,” Joan admits. “I just don't want to hurt him.”

“Love hurts, man. They're not going to stay together forever. One day they're going to hurt each other and you and I might be around to pick up the pieces and we might not. Wouldn't you rather make sure Ryn's got you to catch him when he falls?”

Unfortunately, Joan can see the logic in Marc's plan. Laurie and Ryn probably won't stay together permanently. They're smitten right now, but they don't know each other well and they're likely to grow apart. What if that happens a few years from now and he and Ryn are in different places? What if he waits too long and loses any chance he ever had with Ryn?

“Don't you want to be his first?” Marc asks. “Don't you want to make sure he's treated right his first time?”

Joan's heart drops into his stomach. He would treat Ryn right, of that much he's certain. He loves Ryn. The thought of Ryn learning about intimacy on his own, with people Joan can't necessarily trust, terrifies Joan. No one else in the world could possibly love Ryn as much as he does, so how could anyone else treat him with as much respect and kindness as Joan could?

“Do we have a deal?” Marc watches him with an intense gaze. He's clearly put some thought into this and he's determined to go through with it even if Joan opts out.

“Deal,” Joan mutters, ducking his had to avoid that gaze. “We have a deal.”

If Ryn finds out about this, there's no way he'll understand. He'll never forgive Joan. But there's no reason why Ryn should ever know that Joan has teamed up with Marc for the express purpose of breaking up Ryn and Laurie. It can stay a secret and it will stay a secret because Marc doesn't want it to get out any more than Joan does.

“Do you love her?” he asks the Winathian. “Laurie, I mean.”

Marc resembles a deer caught in the headlights. He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. “She and I have been talking online for the last year. I'm not sappy enough to say I'm in love with her but I know that she and I have a connection. I was expecting it to go somewhere when we both got into the Legion. Who knew Ryn Dox would be the one to throw a wrench into things?”

“Does she know how you feel?”

“Not yet,” Marc admits. “But she will. She and I, we're too much alike to stay apart. I've never met a girl like her before – someone I really wanted to be with. Helps that she's smoking hot, of course.”

Joan decides that he really doesn't like Marc very much. He wasn't a huge fan of the boy from the start. It's obvious that Marc is still very immature and probably has sex on the brain more often than not. Maybe Marc really does have feelings for Laurie, or maybe she's simply the object of his desires. Not that it matters much either way, Joan supposes, because Marc thinks he has to have Laurie and that's why Joan has just won himself an ally.

Whether or not Marc is a terribly useful ally remains to be seen.

After lunch, Ryn asks Ultra Kid to take them to the Superman Museum, which Joan has to admit is exciting. He's never been to the Superman Museum before, even though his family occasionally visits relatives in Metropolis. No one in his family is much interested in superheroes – part of the reason why Joan has always felt like a bit of an outsider to them.

The museum is a sacred place to Ryn, Joan knows that much. Apparently, the Dox-Norg family takes a trip to Metropolis at least once a year just to see it. This is the place where Querl and Lyle first took Ryn when they met him – the place that started Ryn's obsession with being a hero.

As they walk through the huge museum, Joan tries imagine what it must have been like for Ryn as a small child, alone in the universe, to realize that a hero like Superman actually existed and that there were others carrying on his legacy. It must have been too big for Ryn to really understand at the time. Maybe Ryn only knew that for once there were people who could protect him and that they would do that for him because that's what heroes do.

He wants to be that for Ryn. He wants to make sure that Ryn is always safe and never has to be afraid. But is he really living up to that goal by going along with Marc's plan? If Ryn is happy with Laurie, then Joan should be happy for him and he shouldn't try to interfere. It's really not his place to try and decide what's best for Ryn.

Still, even though that's what he really thinks, he also knows that he's not going to back out on his deal with Marc. Part of him is just too selfish to let Ryn go that easily. After all, he promised himself that he would start chasing his dreams instead of letting them pass him by. Ryn is the pinnacle of all those dreams and letting him go would mean giving up.

As he trails behind Laurie and Ryn, who are still holding hands as Ryn describes each every item they see to Laurie in great detail, Joan tries not to burn with jealousy. Ryn stares up at the images of Superman like he's seeing the face of God. Joan wants to be the person holding Ryn's hand when Ryn is experiencing that divine inspiration. He wants to  _feel_ the emotions that Ryn feels through that physical connection.

The jealousy he feels causes him to have an idea, however. If he's feeling this way... if there really is any chance that Ryn returns Joan's affections... isn't jealousy the best way to get your crush's attention? His gaze turns to Hailstone and Shrink and he observes them thoughtfully. Then he catches Marc's eye and beckons him over.

“What's up, Emotional Lad?” Marc asks, repeating Ultra Kid's nickname.

Joan puts a finger to his lips. “I have an idea,” he says very softly. “You hate seeing them together as much as I do, right?”

“Of course.”

“So, what if they hate that too? I mean, seeing us with other people. What if we were to express interest in other people?” Joan tilts his head to motion to Hailstone and Shrink. “For instance, how would Laurie feel if you were going out with Hailstone? If she suddenly wasn't the center of your universe anymore?”

Marc's eyes light up. “Hey, you're pretty smart, Earthling. That idea's not half bad. We'll just make the 'forbidden fruit' a little more forbidden. I like it.”

“You're welcome.” Joan smiles faintly. “Just don't overdo it.”

But Marc has already split off to jog over to Hailstone. The girl looks shocked and put off at first when Marc is suddenly in her face, complimenting her blue uniform and her dark, curly hair. After a few moments of talking, though, she seems to relax and starts to giggle in response to whatever Marc is telling her. Too easy, Joan thinks.

And when he looks over at Laurie and Ryn, he knows his theory was right because Laurie is watching Marc and Hailstone with a dismayed expression. Ryn is watching Laurie in turn, puzzled by her sudden interest in Marc and probably putting the pieces together. The seed has been planted and now Joan has no choice but to follow through with his end of the deal or Ryn really is going to get hurt.

This is all for Ryn's own good, Joan tells himself, perhaps to assuage his own feeling of guilt. He'll be the one to pick up the pieces when Ryn realizes that Laurie has eyes for someone else.

TBC


	7. Teenage Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art inspired by Up in the Stars -  
> ["Brainboy and Lyre-star," by Kikane](http://fav.me/d536c3v)  
> [Super Ryn," by Kikane](http://fav.me/d3lcdw3)  
> ["Meet the Kids," by Ashbound](http://fav.me/d4tnilv)  
> ["Brainiac 6 and the team," by Ashbound](http://fav.me/d4tnjqu)   
> [Sketches by Ashbound](http://fav.me/d52geuz)

**Up In The Stars**

**Chapter 7: Teenage Dream**

_You make me_

_feel like I'm living a_

_teenage dream._

_-Katy Perry, “Teenage Dream”_

_(Glee Cast Cover)_

Ryn thinks that he first noticed it at the Superman Museum. That was when Marc started getting friendly with Hailstone. He'd seen the way Laurie suddenly couldn't take her eyes off of Marc, and she didn't look happy. But that day, Ryn had ignored it because even if Laurie really isn't happy about Marc hooking up with someone else, she's with him now and what does it matter if she's mad at Marc?

And anyway, according to Laurie, they are officially “dating.” So far, that consists of not so private dates at the cafeteria and joining Cub's late night dance club on occasion. They hold hands and Laurie even kissed him once, on the cheek. Ryn wants to kiss her on the lips, but isn't sure when to try something like that. It has only been a couple of weeks since they joined the Legion, and even less time since their relationship became official. Ryn just isn't sure how fast these things are supposed to move.

Laurie, as it turns out, is an excellent lab partner. It takes her a few days to learn the laboratory but with Ryn's help she's soon adept at operating it. She is also the only person Ryn has ever thought looks hot in safety goggles and a lab coat. He often finds himself distracted from his own work when Laurie is working alongside him, unable to keep his eyes off of her for very long.

Not once has Laurie suggested that they go any further than holding hands and the occasional peck on the cheek, much to Ryn's relief. It's not that he doesn't find her desirable – on the contrary, his mind is consumed with thoughts of her perfect body, her beautiful face, her gloriously golden hair – but Ryn can't let himself think too far down that particular road.

It's been years since anyone handled him roughly. The last time was the day his mother abducted him from Smallville. It's amazing, the things a little boy could put up with that terrify Ryn to think of now. He's not a masochist by any means, and he never wants to be hurt again. More than that, he never wants to become dependent on pain like that again. And sex is too scary to think about trying because he knows it can be used against you, like his mother's henchmen used it against Querl. No amount of research has ever dissuaded him of that fear.

But he wonders if Laurie is always going to be happy staying safe. He'd never ask her, mostly because he's too shy to bring up a subject like that with her. He shouldn't even wonder about it but when he sees the way she looks at Marc sometimes, he can't help but want to know. Is there something Marc has that Ryn doesn't have?

Luckily, Laurie and Ryn are assigned to the laboratory most of the time, being the two people most adept at using it. They even get out of a few of Uncle Rokk's “newbie missions” when they have work to do in the lab. This gives them time to bond over their shared interests, particularly in the field of time travel. But as the days go by and Marc spends more and more time with the girl from Xanthu, Laurie grows more sullen and distant.

He's dwelling on his girlfriend's bad mood when he calls home that evening. He's hoping to talk to Grace but it's Querl who answers the call.

His brother looks tired but he greets Ryn with a smile. “Hey, Rynnie. Grace is out with Lyle. What's going on?”

“Oh, hey Querl.” Ryn swallows his disappointment. He can't really talk to Querl about the things he wants to talk about. It's too embarrassing to tell him about Laurie's preoccupation with Marc, and he knows better than to ask Querl about _sex_ or to bring up his fears associated with it. That would be too hard on Querl. “I just miss you guys, I guess.”

“We miss you too,” Querl assures him. “Listen, Ryn, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I, um... I'm pregnant again.”

Well, that was not the news Ryn was expecting. He just sits there for several minutes, trying to digest that information. “...How?”

Did Lyle and Querl decide to have another child after Ryn left? He doesn't like that idea at all. It's almost like they're replacing him or something. And they certainly wasted no time conceiving it. Why wasn't this decision discussed with the whole family? Didn't Ryn deserve to at least know about it?

“Well, on accident,” Querl admits. “The drug I was on with Grace – many people who took it have a, um, resurgence of fertility later on in life. It's been a long time so I stopped worrying about it but I guess it hasn't been long enough.”

Ryn relaxes a little. At least this wasn't planned without him knowing about it. Still, with the mood he's currently in, he doesn't receive the news as well as he probably should.

“Rynnie, I'm sorry, but being pregnant is really wearing me down. I need to get off here and go to bed early. Was there anything else you needed?”

“No,” Ryn says, his voice soft. “I... just wanted to talk to Grace.”

“I'll have her call you tomorrow,” Querl promises.

“Okay. Good night, Querl.”

“Good night, Ryn.”

Ryn turns off the link on his Omnicom and stares at it for a few long moments. So much for getting advice from Grace. It looks like he's on his own.

Instead of moping in his room for the rest of the evening, he calls Laurie and invites her on another “date” in the cafeteria for coffee. She agrees, of course, and this cheers Ryn up a little because she seems happy about the invitation.

However, when they get to the cafeteria, Marc and Hailstone are already there at the bar, laughing and flirting. Ryn lets out an audible sigh when he sees them.

“Let's get a corner booth,” he suggests, directing Laurie away from the couple.

Laurie complies and tries to be upbeat but Ryn can see that she is unhappy about running into Marc here. Ryn wonders if he should ask her about it. Will she be angry with him if he asks her if she has feelings for Marc? He tells himself that he would understand. If she'd rather be with Marc, maybe he should let her go. If you love someone, you should set them free, right?

But he knows it's not that easy. If she wants Marc, why did she ever pay Ryn any mind? Why did she get his hopes up? Surely she knows that he's head over heels for her.

He tries to make small talk abut it's clear that Laurie isn't in the mood. A period of awkward silence falls over them until Ryn finally steels himself and asks, “Is this about Marc?”

“What? Why would you think this is about Marc?” Laurie is immediately defensive. “This has nothing to do with him.”

“Well, it's either that or it's something I've done.” Ryn tries not to feel too hurt that Laurie is denying what he can see with his own two eyes. “And if it's me, I confess that I have no idea what I might have done to upset you. You've been like this since... since that first mission.”

That seems to be all it takes to set Laurie off. She slams her hands down on the table, cracking the surface and causing Ryn to flinch, before standing up from her seat. “Maybe it is you, Ryn. Maybe you're not completely perfect, did that ever occur to you?”

She storms off, leaving Ryn staring at the broken table in shock.

He doesn't know what to do. What's the standard protocol for a situation like this? First things first, he needs to somehow keep himself from crying. If he cries in the middle of the cafeteria, his reputation really will be shot. But how could Laurie say something like that to him? He knows he's not perfect. In fact, he's seriously flawed. The skeletons in his closet would be enough to scare Laurie away for good – and maybe every other friend he's ever had.

In that moment, he realizes how badly he wants to go home. If only there was someone he could call who would understand...

A moment later, he finds himself calling Joan.

Joan picks up almost immediately, his face smiling up at Ryn from the Omnicom screen. “Hey, Ryn, what's up?”

“Hey, Joan,” Ryn replies, trying to keep his voice level. “I was wondering, actually, if you wanted to hang out for a while.”

“Tonight? Ah, tonight's not good,” Joan replies, looking sheepish. “I have plans, actually, with Darus.”

“Darus?” Ryn can't help being taken aback. “You mean... you're on a date with Shrink?”

Who would have thought that Joan would hook up with  _that_ kid? The Imskian boy has made hardly any effort to get to know any of them. And besides that, what about Joan having feelings for Ryn? Doesn't that mean anything? Ryn doesn't understand why Joan would suddenly hook up with someone else.

“Well, yeah, it's our first real date,” Joan says. “I'm sorry, Ryn, I can't cancel on him.”

Ryn's throat feels tight as he tries to force himself to say something, anything. “Really? Fine, I guess that's just sprocking fantastic. Enjoy your damn date!”

He ends the call and slams his Omnicom down on the already abused table. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Marc and Hailstone watching him. He swallows thickly and rises to go. If he's about to have a breakdown about this, he'd really rather that nobody saw him.

It's pure luck that he makes it all the way to his lab before he loses it. As the doors slide shut behind him, he grabs a counter for support and sobs openly.

At his side, his Omnicom beeps to tell him that someone is trying to call him. He ignores it. Right now, he can't possibly answer the phone because he wouldn't be able to speak through his tears.

He sinks to the floor and hides his face in his hands as he cries. At least there's no one here to witness this. But the whole root of the problem is that there's no one here, and he misses his parents and his sister and his dog. If he just had Sammy here to comfort him, that would be good enough. At least Sammy wouldn't want to spend time with someone else.

What was wrong with having only his dog for a friend, anyway? What was so important about this damn Legion that he had to join and leave his family and his home.

His Omnicom beeps again. He ignores it once more but he wipes his eyes and forces himself to his feet. It's silly to let himself get so worked up about this. So everyone else is too busy or too moody to spend time with him right now. He's a big boy, he can handle that. And if he can't handle it, what makes him think he could possibly be hero material?

Forcing back sniffles, he turns to his experiments for comfort. And there was that diagnostic Uncle Rokk asked him to have done before the end of the week. He could go ahead and get that done ahead of schedule.

The doors to his lab open while he's deep in thought concerning the analysis he's done of the artifact Uncle Rokk wanted him to look over. The swishing noise they make causes him to jump in surprise and he whirls around to face the intruder.

Joan is standing in the doorway, hair mussed and breathing hard. He looks relieved, despite his messy countenance.

“Ryn, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.”

“You have?” Ryn feels himself go weak in the knees. “I thought you had a date.”

“Shockwave told me what happened in the cafeteria and I figured you needed company more than I needed a date,” Joan replies. He crosses the room to stand in front of Ryn and places his hands on Ryn's shoulders. A calm feeling settles over Ryn. “How are you holding up?”

Ryn shrugs. “I'm okay, I guess. I just don't really understand what went wrong with Laurie. I mean, did I do something wrong?”

“Hey, no, you didn't do anything wrong.” Joan squeezes his shoulders gently. “Sometimes people just aren't right for each other.”

The kindness and understanding that Ryn can see in Joan's eyes sets his mind at ease. He needed this; he needed someone to tell him that it isn't his fault. “Joan... Thank you. Really. I think I needed to hear that.”

“Any time,” Joan says with a smile.

Before Ryn realizes what he's doing, he's leaning forward and Joan is meeting him halfway. Their lips touch for a brief moment. Then Joan pulls him closer and kisses him,  _really_ kisses him.

His mouth opens in surprise and Joan takes that as an invitation, deepening the the kiss and letting his tongue tangle with Ryn's own. Ryn has never experienced something like this before. He is taken aback and intrigued at the same time. Perhaps it's because he feels so calm, undoubtedly Joan's influence, but he's not scared by this, he's just a little overwhelmed.

For Joan, it seems as though a dam has burst. He kisses Ryn with such energy and passion that Ryn stumbles backwards, taking Joan with him until he hits the lab counter. Joan frantically pushes aside the materials spread out on the counter, knocking a few beakers to the floor where they shatter. He lifts Ryn up to sit on the counter, an action that takes him a considerable amount of effort because he's far from being considered strong and Ryn is small but he's not light.

The other boy breaks the kiss only press his mouth to Ryn's jaw, caressing Ryn's skin with his lips. “I've wanted to kiss you for so long.”

He sounds so breathless and desperate, and Ryn's not sure why a person would ever want him as much as Joan seems to want him. Surely Ryn does not deserve such adoration from anyone.

“You could have anyone you wanted,” he says. “Why me, Joan? I don't understand.”

“Are you kidding?” Joan asks, speaking the words against his neck. “You're beautiful.”

Ryn closes his eyes and tries to ignore the questions racing in his head. Instead, he focuses on the feeling of Joan's mouth exploring his body. He smiles a little when he feels Joan start to unzip his uniform in order to bare his shoulders, which Joan peppers with more kisses.

“I could kiss you every day for the rest of my life and never kiss you often enough.”

“That's crazy,” Ryn whispers. He opens his eyes when he feels Joan's hands tugging the top half of his uniform up. The human boy's hands slip under the material to caress Ryn's abdomen and then they slide upwards. “Mm, Joan, what are you doing?”

Joan pauses and Ryn feels a wave of guilt come from him. Apparently the other boy is not great at controlling his abilities when he's this aroused. “Sorry. Do you want me to stop? I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, it's not that,” Ryn says, trying to assuage the other boy's guilt. “I've just never done anything like this before so I... I don't know what to expect.”

The guilty feeling eases a little bit. “We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, but there's no reason to be afraid. I would never hurt you. Don't you know that I'm crazy about you?”

When Joan looks up at him, Ryn can see the sincerity in his eyes. Nothing this boy says is a lie. Joan really does love him, for reasons Ryn cannot fathom, but it's love nonetheless. Since he was a small boy, Ryn has never been able to understand why anyone would love him, and Joan is even more of a puzzle than Querl and Lyle and Mr. Brande ever were. This is a different kind of love. This love is consuming, it is everything, and Ryn knows that Joan wants all of that. He wants everything Ryn can give him.

“I don't want to rush into anything,” Ryn whispers. “I'm... still scared.”

“It's okay,” Joan promises him. “Just let me make you feel good.”

Somehow, they both lose their tops and Ryn feels Joan's bare skin against his when the other boy leans in to steal another kiss. Joan's hands hurriedly unfasten Ryn's belt and then work Ryn's uniform pants open. Ryn gasps loudly against Joan's mouth when the human dips his hand down the front of his underwear, much further south than Ryn really expected Joan's hands to go.

“Is this okay?” Joan asks when he breaks the kiss, fondling Ryn as he speaks. Ryn can feel himself growing hard in the boy's hand and how could this be okay? But it is okay, it's more than okay and not okay at the same time.

He whimpers, reduced to such a state that he can hardly form coherent sentences. “Do you... Do you not mind...?”

Sex, sex, sex, that's what people say all young boys are obsessed with. Ryn has never seen the appeal. He's masturbated his fair share, certainly, but that has never felt like this. Being this intimate with another person is breathtaking. He feels like he could just melt in Joan's hands.

“Of course I don't mind,” Joan murmurs. “Actually, will you let me do something for you?”

Joan carefully pulls Ryn's hardening manhood out of his underwear, causing Ryn to flinch from the cool air on such a sensitive body part. He watches Joan through half open eyes, wondering what the boy is planning.

It's such a shock when Joan bends down and takes Ryn's member into his mouth, Ryn grabs the other boy's shoulders and shouts out loud. Joan's hands rub his thighs to comfort him, his mouth preoccupied as he pleasures Ryn. The wet heat of Joan's mouth is heavenly. Ryn's hands fall from Joan's shoulder to grip the edges of the counter as his eyes roll back in his head from the sensation.

As is to be expected of someone with as little experience as Ryn has, it's all over quickly. He manages to choke out a warning to Joan but the other boy tries to swallow, much to Ryn's embarrassment, and ends up choking. Ryn pets Joan's hair until the coughing fit ends and Joan looks up at him with a smile and his cheeks red from blushing. There's some cum on the corner of his mouth and Ryn reaches out to wipe it away with his thumb.

“That was... amazing,” he whispers, still riding out the post-orgasm high. “Did you...?”

“Come?” Joan asks. “Yeah.”

“But I didn't do anything for you.” Ryn feels a little guilty, though he's not sure what he would have done. “Was it still okay?”

“It was amazing,” Joan promises and he kisses Ryn's cheek. “I'd kiss you on the mouth again but I think I need to brush my teeth first.”

Ryn laughs and nods. “We need showers. There's a shower here in the lab. We should both wash up.”

“Together?” Joan asks hopefully and Ryn's heart skips a beat but he nods anyway.

“Sure. Together.”

They throw their uniforms into the small cleaner that the lab's bathroom is equipped with, so their clothes will be clean by the time they get out of the shower. Joan can't seem to keep his hands off of Ryn. As they step under the shower's warm spray, Joan is stroking Ryn's sides and kissing Ryn's neck.

It is in that moment that Ryn finally remembers Laurie. Guilt crashes over him in waves. What in the universe does he think he's doing? This is cheating. He is cheating on Laurie with Joan. And for what? Just because she snapped at him once? He's not that faithless, is he? If Laurie found out, she'd be heartbroken.

Naked in the shower is not really an ideal place for a breakdown, so Ryn doesn't say anything. When they're both clean, he hurries to get out, quickly drying himself off and redressing. Joan follows suit, watching him with a puzzled expression.

“This isn't right,” Ryn says. He runs a hand through his hair, slicking it back. “We shouldn't have done that.”

Joan doesn't say anything at first. He leans heavily against the wall and stares at the ceiling for a few long moments before speaking again. “I love you.”

“No, you don't.” Ryn's hands clench into fists. “You just think you do. How could you be in love with me? You don't even know me. And if you did know me, you'd know that you're better off without me.”

This is all getting so complicated and the last thing Ryn wants is for his love life to be complicated right now. Maybe he's better off alone. If he's not seeing anyone and doesn't show interest in anyone, maybe they'll all back off and stop expecting him to be this wonderful person that they've built up in their heads.

Later on, maybe he'll look back on this moment and recognize the mild hysteria he's feeling for the dangerous warning sign that it is. In the moment, he does not remember that every time he has felt this way in the past, he has been prone to self-destructive actions. All he can think is that everything is too much right now and he needs it to just _stop_.

“I've loved you since the first day I ever saw you,” Joan insists. “Don't tell me I'm better off without you. I've been without you for too long, just wanting to be with you. What's wrong with loving you, Ryn? You need someone who understands you.”

“You don't understand me!” Ryn fairly explodes. “There is no way you could possibly understand me, you idiot!”

Joan's expression hardens.

“Why? Because I'm not as smart as you are? That doesn't mean I'm blind. I can see plain as day that you're lonely but you're afraid of letting people get close to you. All I want to do is show you that it's okay to let people love you. I know you're scared. Grife, Ryn, I can feel how scared you are and how nervous people make you. Right now, I can feel you and you're on the edge of a meltdown. Over what? Over a blow job? I wouldn't have done it if I'd thought it would freak you out this bad. But I don't regret telling you how I feel and I don't think it was a mistake.”

Ryn's hysteria grows just a little more. The last thing he needs is some moron trying to fix him. His whole life, people have been trying to fix him. What's wrong with being alone with his problems? He doesn't want to change – never has wanted to change, really. And it's not like Joan could possibly be any better at helping him with his problems than the psychologists and psychiatrists that Ryn has seen since he was three.

“Just leave me alone,” he says through gritted teeth. “Get out of my face. I can't deal with this, don't you get it? Get out!”

“Alright, calm down.” Joan raises his hands in a placating manner. “I'm leaving, okay? I'm going. But please... think about what I said.”

As the other boy passes Ryn on the way to the door, he pauses next to Ryn and kisses his cheek. It's brief, just a momentary brush of lips against Ryn's skin, but it sends a feeling like an electric shock all the way through Ryn and all he can do is stand frozen, staring straight ahead.

Joan has only been gone for a few minutes when Ryn's Omnicom alerts him to an incoming call. Ryn fumbles for the communicator, his finger hesitating above the answer button when he sees that the call is from Laurie. Then he takes a deep breath and hits answer.

“Hello?”

“Ryn, it's me. I'm so sorry. I... I don't know why I blew up at you like that.”

Laurie sounds so apologetic. Why is she apologizing to Ryn when Ryn is the one who just cheated on her?

“I've had some stuff going on lately,” Laurie continues, oblivious to the wrong that Ryn has committed against her. “Like, Mom's home planet is getting crazy again. They're always a little crazy but Mom is expected to be a sort of ambassador to them and now they're really getting crazy and I'm scared something is going to happen to her. When she's there, she's vulnerable, and there are people who really do want her dead. I just took it out on you and I shouldn't have done that.”

He doesn't know what to say. Laurie is only making the situation worse. At least she has a genuine excuse for her behavior. Ryn's only excuse is that he's spoiled and he wanted someone to reassure him that he was worth another person's affections. That inexplicable pull he felt towards Joan, it was nothing he couldn't have ignored if he'd been careful.

“Please say something, Ryn. I don't want you to be mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you,” Ryn manages to croak out, his throat thick with emotion. “I... It's nothing, Laurie. We'll forget it happened.”

He should tell her. If he doesn't tell her what he did, it's going to be a stain on their relationship forever. It will always be that skeleton in the closet he tries to hide until it gets discovered one day and then Laurie will really hate him for not respecting her enough to admit it to her. He should tell her but he can't make his lips move to form the words.

“Thank you,” Laurie says and she sounds so relieved. “I hope everything's okay between us. I... I think I love you.”

Another love confession so soon? Ryn feels weak in the knees. How is he supposed to respond?

“I... Laurie, you mean a lot to me too.”

She giggles softly. “You're so sweet. I'll talk to you later, alright?”

“Alright.” Ryn slowly lowers his communicator. He feels lost. What he just did wasn't lying, exactly, but it wasn't good either. His therapist would tell him to evaluate who benefited from this scenario; is he doing it for his own comfort and disregarding Laurie's feelings, and Joan's as well?

Maybe he could call Dr. Ryk'rr and ask her about all of this. It's been a few years since he's had regular sessions with her, but she has always taken time for him in the past. Calling her would probably be a good idea. He needs a second opinion.

But for some reason, Ryn doesn't call Dr. Ryk'rr. Part of him is just too embarrassed to share this information with anyone. He's not even sure he could talk to Grace about it, considering he'd have to explain what he did with Joan.

He takes a deep breath and tries to clear his mind and think about what to do now. Maybe he can just pretend that nothing is wrong and sweep it all under the rug. If he asks Joan not to mention it to Laurie, he's fairly certain that the other boy will keep the matter to himself. And if Laurie never finds out, that could be for the best. It's just youthful indiscretion, after all. Years from now, maybe he and Laurie will be married with kids and he'll tell her about this, and they'll both laugh about it.

If there's one thing he can't do, it's go to his parents for advice. This is going to have to stay a secret from them because they would be so disappointed in him. When they agreed to let him join the Legion, there was an unspoken agreement between the three of them that Ryn would be mature enough to handle it. Now he's already cheated on his girlfriend and had sex with a teammate. If Querl found out, he would be furious with Ryn. Querl's disappointment in him is not something Ryn can deal with right now.

At a level 12 intelligence, Ryn wonders why he cannot seem to master his own mind. He thinks about how composed Querl usually is, and about how Querl has had to deal with more than Ryn can ever imagine. If Querl can overcome everything like that, surely Ryn can handle this little mistake. And that's all it is, really. It's a mistake he can't exactly go back and undo but he doesn't have to let it mess up everything he has worked so hard for.

This is just one of those situations where you need to sweep a little dirt under the rug, or stick a skeleton in the closet and lock it up tight. It will just require a little track covering.

Determined now, he calls Joan for the second time. It takes a few moments for Joan to pick up this time and when the other boy's face shows up on the Omnicom screen, he looks tired.

“Yes, Ryn?”

“I need to ask you something,” Ryn says, trying not to let it show how nervous he is about talking to Joan again. “Will you keep it to yourself? What happened between us, I mean. If Laurie found out, she'd never forgive me. I need to know that you won't tell her.”

“Ryn, I...” Joan gives a deep sigh. “Okay, I won't tell anyone. You don't have to worry about me. And Ryn? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things worse.”

Ryn just nods and ends the call. He's not sure if his friendship with Joan is ever going to recover from this but if he can at least salvage his relationship with Laurie, he'll consider it a success.

Feeling a little more sane, he turns his attention back to his work. If he puts in an all-nighter, he can possibly get several of his assignments finished ahead of schedule. And if he can prove his worth to Cosmic Boy and the older Legionnaires, maybe he'll get a real assignment out in the field. He'll finally get the chance to show the world that this what he has always been meant for.

TBC


	8. One More Night

**Up in the Stars**

**Chapter 8: One More Night**

_Try to tell you 'no,' but my body keeps on telling you 'yes.'_

_Try to tell you 'stop,' but your lipstick got me so out of breath._

_I'll be waking up in the morning probably hating myself._

_I'll be waking up feeling satisfied but guilty as hell._

_-Maroon 5, “One More Night”_

“Okay, Laurie, hold it right there. We have to make sure these coordinates match the exact-”

“Frequency of the heat signatures, I know. I've got it, Ryn, don't worry.”

“Well, put your goggles on. You're invulnerable but the light off this torch can still mess with your eyes if you're not careful.”

Laurie pulls her goggles down, even though she thinks Ryn is being a little paranoid. She's been helping her father at the Time Institute since she was a tot, and has never much concerned herself with safety gear. Still, Ryn is kind of cute, worrying about her even though he's much more vulnerable than she is.

She likes to watch him work. When he's engrossed in a project, it's like the universe around him doesn't matter anymore. He throws himself into his work with passion, and Laurie has seen him contort his body into every position possible this last month that they've been repairing and upgrading all of the technology in the laboratory. Even though Laurie is the one impervious to harm, Ryn insists on doing the dirty work. That's not entirely because Ryn is trying to be macho about it. Mostly, Ryn knows exactly what he wants done and he doesn't trust anyone, not even Laurie, to follow his directions perfectly.

Sometimes Laurie gets the feeling that Ryn loves this lab far more than he could ever love her. The thought of it insights the tiniest bit of jealousy in her but she quickly lets it go. Ryn is so much like her father, always consumed with the pursuit of knowledge, and she supposes that is why she finds herself so attracted to him.

They had their first and only fight a couple of weeks ago, and Ryn hasn't been quite the same since then. Laurie knows she hurt him. He accepted her excuse easily enough but she still feels guilty because of the real reason she lashed out at him. In truth, she has been worried about her mother, but Ryn hit a nerve when he asked about Marc.

Marc is not the kind of guy Laurie ever thought she'd be attracted to. They've been in contact with each other for quite a while and Laurie has found Marc to be a wonderful confidant, but she also used to think of him as being firmly in the friend zone. Then, Marc started getting friendly with Hailstone, and Laurie is surprised herself at the vicious jealousy that rises up in her every time she sees them together.

The torch lights up as Ryn starts working on the console they're currently repairing. The glare of it shines across Ryn's own goggles and makes his skin glow. He's kind of beautiful like this, even with tough leather gloves hiding his long, delicate fingers.

Despite being shorter than Marc and Joan, Ryn is well built. He's not slender, but not broad shouldered either. He's sort of stocky and very boyish, clearly the sort of kid who played in the mud when he was little. In contrast, Marc is taller, broad shouldered, with distinct facial features that make him seem older. Ryn's round baby face makes him look years younger than he actually is.

Then there's Joan, who doesn't look young or old for his age. He's tall and willowy, with a gaunt face and sharp eyes. Joan is pretty. He has fluffy brown hair that any girl would die to run their fingers through and a warmth in his smile that even Laurie is intrigued by. Joan is not interested in girls, though, which is a shame. All the good ones are gay, aren't they? Except for Ryn.

Ryn seems to notice that she's watching him. He shuts off the torch and stares back at her. “Is there something on my face?” he asks, pushing up his goggles.

For a moment, Laurie is captivated by Ryn's green eyes. She pulls off her own goggles and leans forward without thinking. A moment later, they're kissing.

It's a soft, gentle kiss. Only their lips touch but Ryn's eyes flutter closed and they shift closer to each other. Then they break apart, both smiling.

“That was... unexpected,” Ryn says.

Laurie grins and pats his cheek fondly. “You are too cute sometimes. That was nothing.” A thought crossed her mind. “Have you never been kissed before?”

“What? No, of course not.” Ryn looks away from her, clearly uncomfortable. “I mean, not... not like that.”

She decides that Ryn is just naive about these sorts of things and that's why talking about kissing makes him uncomfortable. In Laurie's mind, it only makes him that much sweeter. How has no one else ever kissed him before? Sure, he's told her that he never went to public school or made any close friends, but Smallville is, well, a small place. And there were no girls there who wanted to hold his hand or send him cards on Valentine's Day?

“From now on, I'll kiss you at least once every day,” she promises him. Someone like Ryn deserves to be treated with the utmost affection.

“Oh, you don't have to do that,” Ryn tells her, but doesn't look like he minds the idea, despite his objections.

There are worry lines on Ryn's face these days. Laurie wishes he would open up to her and maybe tell her what has been on his mind. It's probably just the stress of being a newbie in the Legion – that's not exactly a walk in the park, after all, and Ryn is a perfectionist in the most literal sense of the word. He tries so hard to be the best at everything he does. Laurie worries for him.

“You deserve to be kissed every day,” she tells him. She leans in and gives him another quick kiss for good measure.

For some reason, Ryn stops talking after that except for when necessary and he doesn't respond to the kiss at all. Laurie wonders what she did wrong.

–

New recruits are not Rokk Krin's favorite thing to deal with. He always dreads bringing in new blood, though it has happened more and more often over the last ten years. The past couple of months have been particularly hectic. He didn't just get new recruits to take care of this time. No, this time he got the precious babies of his former teammates. He can still remember Ryn and Marc when they were tiny and now, to have them on the team alongside seasoned fighters just seems wrong.

However, he has to admit that these children have been well prepared for this. The girl from Xanthu and the boy from Imsk can hold their own well enough, having clearly trained for some sort of career involving crime fighting. Probably, they would have joined the ranks of their home worlds' own defense if they'd been turned down for Legion membership. Lauren Vidar and Marc Ranzz are forces to be reckoned with, both a little too sure of their own abilities, but learning to work well with a team. The boy from Earth has a reasonable talent and is fiercely loyal to Ryn, but he's the trouble child of the group, in Rokk's opinion. Rokk has him on a very strict training regime, hoping to improve the boy's abilities in regards to physical combat.

And then, well, there is Ryn.

The truth is that Ryn Dox is a brilliant boy whose naturally anti-social personality has been well tempered by his parents. Ryn is who Rokk imagines Brainy might have been if he'd been raised in a loving home. His potential for being one of the best in the Legion is overwhelming. But Rokk knows him as a vulnerable little boy, the child he and Garth found covered in bruises and scrapes, hiding from his mother's wrath. Despite the way it seems now, Ryn is not free of scars.

But then, Brainy had scars too when he joined the Legion. It took him long enough to heal, to become a valuable member of the team, but what if someone had denied that chance to Brainy? Who knows if he would have ever left his laboratory and learned to live?

What really troubles Rokk is that there's a lot of discord in the universe right now, and he's afraid he'll have to push his new recruits harder than he would like. Because it's hard to tell when he'll need them to be ready for battle. He's already thinking about sending Brainiac 6 on a mission that could be very dangerous. But Ryn's skills would definitely help and he can't keep protecting the boy. Ryn's a Legionnaire now and he has a lot to prove. If Rokk lets him know that there's a place for him soon on a very serious mission, he knows Ryn will jump at the chance.

He thinks about his own son, home on Braal with Jasmin. Zakk is a bright and happy child, already making his own plans to follow in Rokk's footsteps if his sizable collection of superhero action figures is anything to go by. Rokk loves the boy more than anything, and Jasmin is expecting another child. They'll find out the gender of the baby soon. Jasmin will probably have to go to that appointment without Rokk. He's too busy on Legion World, trying to keep the Legion in working order.

Although he has a lot of control these days, having been a Legionnaire longer than anyone else currently on the team, he's not currently team leader. That job falls to M'onel, also a senior member but the winner of the last Legion elections. Brainy expressed disdain at the choice when told the news, though Lyle was fairly supportive. Personally, Rokk isn't sure M'onel can handle the job. He follows rules too strictly, even for Rokk's tastes, and doesn't know when to bend them for a good cause.

If Jasmin were here, she'd tell him to have faith in the new recruits. She's the sort of person who believes in innate goodness, and thinks that you should give everyone a chance. Rokk loves that about her, but he's a realist. If he gives these kids too much room to mess up, someone's going to get seriously hurt or killed, and he admits to being personally invested in this batch. It's like sending his own son out onto the battlefield.

The planning stage is still early for this particular mission. More information is needed to formulate a solid plan, and maybe they'll find a way to finish it without Brainiac 6's expertise. There's no need to bring it up with Ryn until he knows for certain that he can't do it without the boy, because if he mentions it to Ryn, the boy won't rest until he's secured himself a place in the mission. And this is going to be a dangerous mission. Legionnaires are going to get hurt, and there's the slightest chance that worse could happen. He wants to get out of bringing a rookie along if he can.

Still, he adds Brainiac 6 to his list of potential Legionnaires for the mission. He can't rule the kid out just yet.

–

There's a key difference between Ryn and Laurie; Laurie is a social butterfly. She loves to be the center of attention, though she's hardly vain. It's just that she likes people and so she enjoys being around them. On the other hand, Ryn is far from used to being around lots of people. He occasionally lets Laurie coerce him into socializing, but he usually lets her do her own thing and hides in his lab.

He can't stop thinking about Joan and what they did together. It was wrong, very wrong, so why does he keep revisiting it in his dreams? And when he wakes up from those dreams, he has ample evidence to prove that they aren't nightmares. He enjoyed that intimacy with Muse, and part of him wouldn't object to another round. The rest of him knows better, but he can't help feeling tempted.

Joan hasn't said a word about it to anyone, as far as Ryn knows. He still tries to talk to Ryn, to keep a strained friendship with him, but he also keeps his distance and doesn't make things too hard on Ryn. But sometimes, when Laurie is out enjoying the nightlife with the other Legionnaires she has befriended, Ryn wishes that Joan would come by and see him, just to check in on him and let Ryn know that someone else cares about his well being. Sometimes he's just lonely, missing his home, and Joan is the only connection to home that he has left.

Some of the other Legionnaires have started calling Joan “Smallville” or “the mild mannered reporter,” a Superman joke that Joan seems to enjoy instead of being embarrassed by it. The nicknames usually make Ryn blush instead of Joan, if he's around to hear them, and they've inspired new Superman themed fantasies to haunt Ryn's dreams, of falling through the air and being caught in Joan's arms before he can hit the ground. Then he'll look up into Joan's eyes, see the kindness and understanding there, and they'll kiss...

Laurie's mother returns home from her trip to Daxam and Laurie takes a month leave to visit with her family. She doesn't ask Ryn's opinion about this, just decides to do it on her own, and Ryn finds himself alone in the Legion, the only person on the whole planet so dependent on one teammate that he literally doesn't leave his lab for a week, unable to function in social settings without his girlfriend to ground him.

He's moping in his lab for the eighth day straight when Joan finally turns up. Ryn, who has been pretending to be preoccupied by an important project when anyone asks him what he's doing, is actually sprawled out on the floor reading back issue comics that Lyle sent to him. He hasn't eaten in a full twenty-four hours and when Joan enters with a tray of deliciously scented food, he immediately sits up and drops the comic he's reading.

Without questioning the comics Ryn has lying around everywhere, Joan walks over and puts the tray down on Ryn's desk. “Are you hungry?”

That soft smile, those brown eyes, the fine brown hair that frames Joan's face... Ryn just stares at him for a few long moments, entranced. This boy is so intoxicating, somehow.

“Food?” Joan says after a few moments. He's grinning now, having noticed Ryn's inability to form a proper response.

“Oh, uh, right.” Ryn clambers to his feet, sheepishly looking away from his teammate. “Thanks, Muse. That's really thoughtful of you.”

“It was no problem.” Joan takes a seat and gestures to the food. “Get it while it's hot.”

This, Ryn has no problem doing. He tucks into the food, making quick work of it, while Joan watches him with an amused expression.

“How long has it been since you ate anything?” Joan asks.

“Yesterday at lunch time,” Ryn says between mouthfuls.

“I had a feeling. You know, even when Laurie's not here, you should take care of yourself.”

Swallowing a mouthful of food that suddenly tastes like sawdust, Ryn picks at the rest of his food. “Joan... I don't think my relationship with Laurie is going so well.”

The other boy frowns. His eyes take on a distant look, as though he's lost in his thoughts. Finally, he says, “Is it my fault?”

There's no easy answer to that question. It's not Joan's fault, if one considers that Ryn was the one who consented and allowed it to happen, and it certainly isn't Joan's fault that Ryn can't stop thinking about him or that Ryn and Laurie aren't able to integrate their different lifestyles very well. Then again, Joan might very well be the root of the problem.

“I'm very attracted to Laurie,” Ryn says carefully. “She's a wonderful person and we have a lot in common. But we have our differences too and she seems to think I'm... I don't know, perfect? Who doesn't want their girlfriend to think they're perfect, right? But that's a lot of pressure and the real me isn't perfect. The real me is... flawed.”

Joan nods to show that he's listening.

“I'm... attracted to you too.” It's hard for Ryn to get that out but he manages it. He can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “I can't stop thinking about you. I just don't know if that's because there's really chemistry between us or because I'm unhappy with my current relationship and I'm looking for a.... a distraction.”

The human rises from his seat and walks over to Ryn, wrapping his long arms around Ryn's smaller frame. “If you need a distraction, Ryn, then I'm here. That's not what I want. I want you to be all mine, but I'll take what I can get and I want you to be happy. Why don't you come to my rooms tonight? We'll watch a movie, just hang out; maybe you need a friend right now.”

It's a bad idea and Ryn knows that. He has a feeling he won't be able to resist if Joan initiates anything, and he already feels guilty enough for cheating on Laurie the first time. Apparently, though, his guilt isn't enough to keep him faithful. “That... would be nice. I'll see you tonight, then.”

Joan's smile is dazzling. “See you then, Ryn.”

–

It turns out that Joan brought quite a few films with him to Legion World, most of them fairly recent. He chooses a comedy that came out a couple of years ago, and Ryn vaguely remembers advertisements for it but he never watched it himself. Comedies aren't his preference when it comes to movies, but he doesn't mind this time because seeing the cover makes him think of his family's old trips to the video store, an event that took place on a Friday, every two weeks.

They curl up on Joan's bed together to watch the film, and they're too close but Ryn can't resist the offering of warmth and comfort from his friend. The comedy isn't as bad as Ryn was expecting and he ends up laughing a great deal. By the time the credits roll, his head is snuggled comfortably against Joan's chest and the other boy's arms are around him, holding him close.

Joan turns off the movie and they sit together in silence for a while before either of them speaks. Then Joan breaks the silence. “You don't have to be perfect all of the time, Ryn.”

The statement causes Ryn to stiffen but he doesn't pull away. “You wouldn't understand.”

“Just because I haven't gone through what you have?” Joan asks him, raising one hand to stroke Ryn's cheek. “I hate to see you hurting. If you wanted to talk to someone about those 'flaws,' you could talk to me and I wouldn't judge you.”

This is not the conversation that Ryn wants to be having. He shifts, anxious and desperate to avoid the topic. “I'm not what you think I am, okay? You wouldn't like me very much if you knew the truth.”

With his mind's eye, he can still see Querl standing in the bathroom, devastated to learn that Ryn drugged him without his consent and altered his very anatomy to get what he wanted. He can see Querl in the kitchen, trying to stay calm but visibly hurt when Ryn insinuates that he cheated on Lyle. It took Ryn a long time to see that he was wrong.

“I doubt my feelings for you would change,” Joan persists. His lips press against the top of Ryn's head. “Whatever it is you've done that you think is so bad, well, you're only fifteen, you know? You can't have done much.”

Ryn pulls away from Joan, drawing his knees to his chest. “I hurt people that loved me. You have no idea how many years it took me to just... be _normal_. And you couldn't possibly understand. If it wasn't for Querl, I'd be a monster by now.”

Saying it out loud, it strikes Ryn hard that he has so much self-loathing bottled up inside. He's never told anyone other than his therapists that he feels this way about himself. How could anyone understand? They couldn't. They haven't been where he has been.

“You were adopted, right?” Joan asks, placing a gentle hand on Ryn's shoulder. “So, there's a reason for that. Someone else... someone else hurt you. Your mom?”

“Yes,” Ryn whispers, hanging his head in shame. “She used to just hit me for no reason. Sometimes she would hug me and then she would pinch me until I bled. She would smile and tell me how much she loved me, and then she would smack me across the face. Sometimes she would lock me up in... in a closet, and leave me there for days at a time. That's where they found me, you know, after they took her into custody. If they hadn't searched her hideout, I would have starved to death in that place.”

Horrified by it, even after so many years have passed, Ryn puts his hand over his mouth and breathes in deeply. He has never even talked to his brother about this, only his therapists, and it's different to share it with a friend whose approval matters to him.

“It's okay,” Joan murmurs. “You survived that. She can't hurt you anymore.”

“Yes, she can.” Ryn draws in a ragged breath. His eyes are stinging. “All my life, I've tried to overcome what she did. But she screwed me up. I'm not a good person.”

Joan's hand reaches out to cup Ryn's cheek and he turns Ryn's face to his own. “I don't believe you.”

There's something about the look in Joan's eyes that's charged with electricity. It flows through Joan and into Ryn from the contact between them, makes him close his eyes and breathe in slowly, and he tries to push the feeling away but what he really wants to do is give in and let it overwhelm him.

“Right now,” he says, his voice low, “all I want to do is touch you. I want... what we did before. I want more of that. That's cheating. It would hurt Laurie if she knew but part of me doesn't care. Part of me has always been like that. I know it's wrong but sometimes I don't care. That part of me is... dangerous.”

“Give it to me,” Joan replies solemnly. “If it's a part of you, I want it. I want all of you.”

It seems natural enough when their lips meet and Ryn just lets it happen. He'll regret it later on, he knows. There's a voice in the back of his head reminding him that this would break Laurie's heart. This is so typical of him. He saw Laurie and he wanted her, so he went for her, with no thought to what that would mean. And now he has Laurie but he wants Joan instead. Or maybe he wants both of them. He should know better, considering how much therapy he's been through.

Sprock all the therapy. Ryn is legally an adult now, and maybe he's tired of caring so much about what's right and what's wrong. If he just goes with his gut feeling, can that really lead him astray?

He finds himself being gently pushed back on the bed, and Joan's body covers his while the other boy devours Ryn's mouth and his hands roam Ryn's body. They're dressed in casual clothes, so it doesn't take much effort on Joan's part to get his hands up Ryn's shirt. This time Ryn returns the favor, grasping at Joan's hips and letting his fingers slip under Joan's waistband.

The blow job was one thing, weird as it had been. Feeling Joan's growing erection pressing against his thigh makes things a little too real for Ryn, personal in a way that the blow job was not.. This isn't just some fantasy, some wet dream. He's here with another person, this is real life, and if he doesn't slow things down, he might not be happy with how far it goes.

There's really nothing tender about the way they touch each other. They're boys, full of youth and fervor, and things can't happen soon enough so they writhe against each other and fight with buttons and zippers until Ryn's button-up shirt has been torn open and his jeans dragged down and kicked off the bed. Joan loses his own shirt in the process and Ryn struggles to make Joan's britches follow suit but only succeeds in getting them unzipped.

He breathes in sharply when his hand closes around warm, hard flesh. Joan is sucking on his jawline so hard that he's probably going to leave a mark. That will be awkward to explain.

“Maybe... Maybe we should... Joan, maybe we shouldn't do this...”

“Do you want me to stop?” Joan asks, moaning and pushing his hips into Ryn's hand.

“I don't know,” Ryn breathes. “I don't know. It feels... so good...”

“Don't worry about it.” Joan's hands slide down Ryn's sides, his fingers exploring intimate places. “I'll make it good for you, I promise.”

Virgin fumbling isn't exactly high class love making, Ryn decides when Joan's searching fingers push into him, painful and uncomfortable. He shakes his head urgently. “Won't work, use some sprocking lube, will you?”

Then his breath catches in his throat. What did he just give Joan permission to do? He starts to object but Joan is already hunting for something in the drawer of the bedside table and he grins when he shows Ryn a bottle of lotion.

“Sorry, but this will be better,” he tells Ryn. “I know what I'm doing. I've read about it.”

“Oh, thank grife for that,” Ryn replies sarcastically. “Why am I the one... you know...”

Joan's eyes widen. “Did you not want to be on the bottom? I'm sorry. I just assumed.”

Why would Joan just assume that? Well, probably for the same reason Ryn never thought that  _he'd_ be the one submitting. Part of him wants to bare his teeth and fight for the dominant role. He deserves it just as much as Joan does. Neither of them is more experienced.

“Well, I just... would have liked a discussion of some sort...”

“Oh, Ryn.” Joan smiles at him. “You're so cute when you get flustered like that.”

Before Ryn can recover his wits from that statement, Joan has popped open the lotion bottle, pouring lotion into his hand and slicking his fingers. Ryn opens his mouth to object but Joan silences him with a kiss and his fingers go back to their explorations with the lotion to ease their passage.

“Next time, you can do me,” Joan promises. Ryn whimpers in response, distracted by the finger that Joan is carefully working into him.

Next time? Oh, grife, Joan assumes there's going to be a next time. Will there be? Ryn doesn't know. Maybe if they do it this one time, he'll get Joan Walter out of his system. That wouldn't be very fair to Joan. But this isn't fair to Laurie either. All in all, Ryn is not being very fair.

It's hard to think about how fair it is to anyone when Joan is working a second finger into him. It's still uncomfortable, borderline painful, but he tolerates it. Joan's long fingers search, stroking his insides, until they brush across a place that makes Ryn shout out loud, stars bursting in front of his eyes.

“There we go,” Joan says breathlessly against Ryn's neck, using his other arm to hold Ryn's body close to his own. “Told you I'd make it good for you.”

Stop this, the voice inside Ryn's head tells him. It's already gone too far but if he doesn't put an end to it, he'll be in a big mess.

He means to push Joan away and apologize for stopping, but he starts to speak and all that comes out is an unintelligible moan as Joan strokes that place inside of him again. His muscles start to relax around Joan's fingers, welcoming the intrusion instead of working to push it out.

His cock aches with need, hard and pressing against Joan's stomach. More than anything, he just needs release. If Joan keeps pushing that spot, he'll get his wish soon. He pushes against Joan's fingers, needy and desperate for the pleasure Joan sends shooting through his body.

Joan's fingers withdraw and Ryn protests with a disappointed whimper. “Please, I'm so close. I'm... I just needed a little more...”

“Shh...” Joan kisses him again and it's not enough. For several long moments, Ryn's frustration grows and he growls into the kiss. Then he gasps and grabs Joan's shoulders, pain and pleasure shooting up his spine as Joan pushes something much larger than his fingers into Ryn.

“Ow, ow, ow! Joan!” His nails dig into Joan's skin and the other boy hisses. “Slow down, slow down, please!”

“Sorry!” Joan freezes in place, his body tense with the effort it seems to take him to stop. “I'm sorry, did I hurt you?”

Ryn doesn't answer in favor of catching his breath, lying boneless against the mattress. His legs are sprawled across Joan's lap, wrapped around the small of the human's back. He wills himself to relax again, trying to make Joan's presence in his body easier to bear.

A feeling of peace abruptly washes over him. “Calm down,” Joan murmurs to him. “You're alright. You're safe.”

“Oh...” Ryn's eyes flutter closed as every muscle in his body relaxes. He feels Joan slide further into him without his body protesting. Part of him is relieved but another part of him is alarmed by how much Joan seems to be capable of influencing his emotions.

Joan gives Ryn a few moments to adjust before he starts to move, pushing into Ryn's body urgently, and it's not entirely unpleasant but it isn't great either. The calm feeling slips away, though Ryn isn't sure if it's because Joan is losing focus or because Ryn is being jarred out of his daze.

Then one thrust hits that sweet spot that makes all of Ryn's reservations dissolve. Grife, that's even better than Joan's fingers. The feeling of being so full becomes erotic instead of discomfiting, and he starts to move with Joan's thrusts, hiking his legs up higher to take Joan in even deeper. Shameless moans and cries escape him as Joan moves in and out of his body.

Why was this such a bad idea, again?

He's close, so close, and he can tell that Joan is too because it doesn't take the other boy long to lose control, slamming erratically into Ryn without rhythm. Ryn doesn't care, so long as Joan keeps hitting that spot, and soon he's shouting Joan's name as he falls over the edge, his orgasm shaking through him like nothing he has ever experienced before.

“Ryn!” Joan exclaims and his thrusts falter as he too reaches orgasm. A few moments later, he collapses on top of Ryn, unable to hold himself up any longer.

In post-orgasmic bliss, Ryn doesn't even mind the heavier body that blankets him, keeping him pinned to the bed. He sighs contentedly and nuzzles Joan's shoulder, tasting the salty sweat on the other boy's skin.

Joan finally rolls off of him, slipping free of Ryn's body. He gives a sigh of his own and stares up at the ceiling, a tiny smile on his face. “That was amazing.”

“Mmm,” Ryn hums, too exhausted to say much. Maybe amazing isn't the word he was thinking of but it was good, yes, it was really good.

“I love you,” Joan says, turning his smile in Ryn's direction. “And before you say anything, I know this doesn't necessarily mean you're splitting with Laurie. But Ryn. Thank you for this.”

Instead of getting into a heavy conversation about where things are headed now, Ryn settles for snuggling up against Joan's body. “You're welcome, Smallville.”

Joan laughs and it's a sweet, pure sound. He pets Ryn's hair, once again reverent with his touch, treating Ryn's body like a delicate treasure made of glass.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

TBC


	9. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

**Up in the Stars**

**Chapter 9: Blow Me (One Last Kiss)**

_I think that life's too short for this._

_Want back my ignorance bliss._

_I think I've had enough of this._

_Blow me one last kiss._

_-P!nk, “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)”_

Joan Walter wakes from the best sleep he's ever had with a big smile on his face. Last night he lost his virginity to the most amazing boy in the universe. He knows he made a few rookie mistakes and the whole process didn't go as smoothly as it could have, but all in all, he thinks it was pretty outstanding for a first time.

He thinks about Shockwave's terrible advice and chuckles, snuggling a little closer to the warm body next to him. How's that jealousy plan working out for that jerk? Joan's got what he wants right here and Marc is no closer than he has ever been to getting into Vega's pants.

One glance at the clock tells him that they're an hour late for official duties but he can't bring himself to disturb Ryn. The Coluan boy is sleeping so deeply that it seems a shame to wake him. In addition, there is a nagging feeling of dread in the pit of Joan's stomach. When Ryn wakes up, he knows this illusion of peace will be shattered.

Lying here next to a gorgeous boy, still sticky and messy from the night before, he feels somehow like he's finally an adult. In truth, it all happened very fast. Just a few months ago he was only a kid, still living with his parents and going to high school. At fifteen, he's legally an adult. He can buy alcohol and has his own bank account, but his parents funded everything he did and they had rules they expected him to abide by in their house. 

That's all different now. He's here on Legion World, a superhero, and making good money at it. Not to mention the fact that he just scored with his longtime crush, and it was fantastic, and he wants to make love to Ryn again now, just thinking about how good it felt to be inside of him last night. Well, he did promise Ryn that they would switch places next time. He wonders what that would feel like. It would probably be just as great. Joan wants Ryn any way that he can have him.

Ryn starts to stir, moaning softly and shifting his body against Joan's. Joan smiles and kisses his lover's neck, exposed where Ryn's shirt has ridden down during the night. Is it too soon to use that word? Lover. They did make love last night. But Ryn is still dating Laurie and maybe he still isn't ready to give her up. Can he tolerate sharing Ryn? Joan worries his lower lip as he watches Ryn slowly wake up.

The Coluan boy rolls over to look at him, eyes narrowed with confusion and sleep. Those gorgeous, green eyes widen a moment later.

“Oh, sprock,” Ryn says. “I had sex with you, didn't I?”

Not quite the reaction Joan was hoping for.

“Uh, yeah, you did.” Joan gets a big, goofy grin on his face as he remembers said sex. “You were amazing. You were perfect.”

The look of surprise that crosses Ryn's face is quickly softened by a smile. “Hey, you told me I didn't have to be perfect.”

Joan reaches out and brushes Ryn's curls back out of his eyes. “You don't have to try. You know, to be perfect. You're always perfect to me, even with flaws. Everything about you, it all just makes you even more amazing.”

“I really don't know why you think that. You don't even know me.”

He can tell by the look in Ryn's eyes that he wants to believe what Joan has told him but it's too soon. Joan has to prove these things to Ryn. In all honesty, he's not sure how to go about doing that.

“I wish I knew how to convince you,” he admits, stroking Ryn's cheek. “I don't want you to be sad.”

Ryn closes his eyes, as though to shut out the uncertainty he feels, but Joan is filled up with the insecurity that overwhelms his lover. It has always been this way. Joan knows that Ryn is not what Laurie thinks he is, because Joan knows exactly how Ryn feels.

“We should get cleaned up and go to work,” Ryn says eventually. “People are going to talk.”

“So let them talk,” Joan says, with only a little desperation. If they talk, if people know about them, it will put an end to Ryn's relationship with Laurie and they'll be free to be together. “Stay with me, please. You'd have fun with me.”

“I had fun with you last night.” Ryn taps Joan's nose and then crawls out of bed, nothing but his unbuttoned shirt covering his fit, slim body. “Just give me some time, alright? Laurie's coming back soon. If I'm breaking up with her, I... want to tell her in person. I owe her that much.”

If the vibes Ryn is putting off are anything to go by, this is actually good news for Joan. He watches Ryn walk to the bathroom, noting the slight swag in Ryn's step, that little bit of a show that Ryn is purposefully putting on for him because he knows that Joan's eyes are on him. How could Joan's eyes be anywhere else?

“You're gorgeous!” he calls out to let Ryn know that he saw.

He can feel Ryn's satisfaction from across the room. “You're a flirt!” the other boy calls back.

“Guilty as charged, darling.” Joan rolls over on his back and stares up at the ceiling, listening to the sound of the shower while Ryn bathes. He resists the urge to join Ryn in the shower. It's too soon and they need a little space. He doesn't want to come on too strong, though he knows he's already been guilty of that.

It's going to be hard to act like there's nothing going on between him and Ryn for the next three weeks until Laurie gets back. He's not sure if he's willing to keep his hands to himself for that long. Well, maybe if he and Ryn share some more “movie nights,” he'll be able to suffer through.

Does he feel guilty for stealing Ryn away from Laurie? Not really. Maybe he should. Laurie is a sweet girl and there's nothing wrong with her, except that she got in between Joan and Ryn, and that was not at all part of Joan's plans when he decided to try out for the Legion with Ryn. She's an unfortunate casualty, a necessary sacrifice in Joan's quest for Ryn's affections. One day, maybe he'll make it up to her.

Until then, Laurie's feelings on this matter are the furthest thing from Joan's mind.

–

There's an agreement between Ryn and Joan that neither of them will speak to anyone else about the night they spent together. Well, anyone in the Legion, at any rate. After they share a lingering kiss and then part ways for the day, Ryn makes a beeline for his personal quarters. He's already late clocking in, so he doesn't see the point in waiting to contact the one person he thinks he can talk to about this.

He can't talk to Grace about it, that's for sure. Maybe back when he was just trying to sort out his feelings, he could have counted on Grace to give him some good advice. But there's no way he's telling his baby sister that he just cheated on his girlfriend and lost his virginity to Grace's friend from school. For that matter, there's no way he's telling all of that to Querl, either. He can just imagine how awkward and freaked out Querl would be about it. That leaves him with one option, and although he imagines Lyle isn't going to completely understand either, he has to get some counsel on this matter.

“Ryn? Good morning, buddy, you're calling kind of early.”

Lyle's face flickers onto the screen of Ryn's omnicom, smiling as though he is genuinely excited to hear from Ryn. Well, Ryn hasn't been very good about keeping in contact with his family. He hasn't called in a while to check on how Querl's doing, though he assumes that if something was wrong, they would call him and tell him.

“Hey Lyle,” he greets with a smile of his own. “Um, are you alone?”

“Oh, I think so. Hold on, I'm in the basement, I'll lock the door.” Lyle disappears from the screen briefly. When he returns, he looks concerned. “Is something wrong, baby?”

Ryn's cheeks heat up with embarrassment at the endearment. “It's been a while since you called me that. I'm not a baby anymore, you know.”

“Sorry, guess I've just been missing my little man,” Lyle admits, chuckling. “You'll always be a baby to me, I'm sorry to say. Now, what's bothering you?”

It's so much harder to admit his shortcomings than Ryn had anticipated. Seeing Lyle again makes him want to switch the subject, say something about how he just wanted to talk to Lyle, and pretend that everything is fine. But everything is not fine.

“I, um... You can't tell Querl, alright?”

“Okay, I promise.”

“Alright.” Ryn takes a deep breath. “I had sex with a teammate last night.”

The look on Lyle's face is almost comical. Lyle looks completely shell shocked and Ryn has never been so grateful for the physical distance between them. If they were in the same room right now, he suspects Lyle might have whacked him over the head.

“O-Okay,” Lyle finally says, taking a deep breath. “That's... You're old enough to make your own decisions, I guess. I'm just grateful that you trusted me enough to tell me about this. But I have to admit, Ryn, I didn't expect this from you. What happened?”

“It just kind of... happened,” Ryn says, though he knows that's a lame excuse. It didn't just “happen,” he and Joan made a conscious decision to engage in sexual intimacy and now he has to deal with the aftermath. “Laurie... She took a leave of absence to visit her family, and things have been kind of strained between us, and then... Joan and I were watching a movie. I just... We were talking about things and he was so understanding and... I cheated on Laurie, Lyle. I don't know why I'm doing this to her. I feel awful.”

Now that he's talking about it, the shame of it all hits him full force. How could he do this to Laurie? It's like he's not even considering her feelings. She hasn't done anything to deserve this treatment. In fact, she's amazing, and Ryn cares a lot about her. He's just not sure that he's in love with her.

“Calm down,” Lyle tells him, ever the voice of reason. “I'll admit that I'm a little disappointed in you over this. I expected you to be more mature. But sometimes things happen and the only thing you can do is be a man and own up to your mistakes. You'll have to tell Laurie what you did, whether or not you still want to be with her. You owe her that much.”

“I know,” Ryn says miserably. “I didn't mean to do anything to hurt her, Lyle. Everything is so confusing right now. And I keep asking myself what Querl would do but I don't think I'm as good at this as he was. Maybe this isn't where I'm supposed to be.”

Lyle's eyebrows disappear into his hairline. “Ryn... There's something you should know about your brother. I know you idolize him but he's just as mortal as the rest of us, do you understand? When Querl was your age, he was battling with his own demons. It's true, he never had the same problem you're having right now, but that's because it took him years to trust even me enough to let me get that close to him.”

“Really?” Ryn frowns at this new information about his brother. He knows Querl's not perfect, not by a long shot, but he always thought Querl loved his career with the Legion. “Was Querl your first?”

“Um, well, no,” Lyle admits and his face turns red. “I was your age, actually, when I lost my virginity.”

“Oh? Was it someone in the Legion?”

“No, he was a reporter,” Lyle replies. “He was three years older than me. For a while, we tried to have a long distance relationship but it didn't work out very well.”

It takes a moment for this to really sink in. Ryn can tell from the embarrassed look on Lyle's face that this is not something he ever thought he'd have to talk to his kid about. But it makes Ryn feel better to know that Lyle had at least one unsuccessful relationship before he found the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

“How did you know you were in love with Querl and not that reporter guy?” he asks.

His “father” cracks a smile at the question. “I didn't know, at first. Your brother is an amazing person and I always cared about him on some level. Over the years, I grew to love him, just like I love all of my teammates. When we decided to try dating, I was really attracted to him but I didn't know what I was feeling, exactly, and neither did he. We worked things out together and at some point it hit me that I didn't want anyone else but him.”

That sounds like a long time to wait to figure things out. Ryn has never been particularly patient, either. He wants to know right now what he should do. How can he make any decisions when he's not sure if it's Laurie or Joan that he wants to be with?

“I'm in trouble, Lyle,” he says, his shoulders slumping. “I thought this would be... I don't know, not easy but I thought things would _fit better_. Now I've already hurt two people I care about and I don't know how to fix it.”

“Oh, Rynnie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you but this will have to hurt before it gets better. Just do the right thing. I have faith in you. And if you need to come home, you know that we'll be glad to have you back for as long as you need.”

“Thanks,” Ryn murmurs. “Uh, there is one other thing I wanted to ask you about. When you and Querl are... you know... _together_... which one of you is usually on top?”

He feels so silly asking that question, but he's actually a little insecure about how things went last night. Joan just seemed to think it was natural for Ryn to be on the bottom, but Ryn has never seen himself as particularly submissive and even though the sex was good, he's sure he doesn't always want to be on the bottom.

For a moment, Lyle looks like he wants to flee the conversation. “Well,” he says at last, “we switch. It just depends on who's in the mood for what. Sometimes we just let things happen and it's completely random. Why do you ask?”

“No reason. ... How's Querl doing?”

Lyle brightens at that question. “Well, he's having morning sickness and that makes him crabby, but he's excited about having another baby. You should see him, Ryn, he's practically glowing. I've never seen him so happy all of the time.”

That twinge of jealousy comes back but Ryn pushes it away. “I'm glad. He deserves to be happy.”

“Yes, he does,” Lyle agrees. “And he has been happy, you know. He's so proud of you, and he loves you and Grace so much. The two of you have given him something he never had as a child; you gave him a family.”

Ryn smiles a little, heartened by those words, but a feeling of homesickness comes over him. He misses his parents and his little sister, and he wishes he could be there with them right now, preparing for the new baby.

“You guys gave that to me too,” he tells Lyle. “I love you all and I really miss you. Tell Querl and Gracie that I said hi.”

“I will, baby. You clear your head and follow your heart, okay? Everything will be fine.”

After his talk with Lyle, Ryn feels a little more confident but he's still confused. What's the next step? He needs to decide if he wants to be with Laurie or if he wants to be with Joan. The longer he draws out this decision, the more he's going to hurt them both. At least he knows that he doesn't want to tell Laurie what happened until she gets back. But Joan is expecting him to break up with Laurie, and he's not sure that's what he wants to do.

He tries not to dwell on it too much while he's working. He has some important projects to finish that Cosmic Boy assigned to him and he wants to make a good impression on Uncle Rokk because he wants his uncle to seriously consider him for a real mission. If he expects to be treated like a real Legionnaire, he knows he has to put aside his personal issues and put his all into his job.

–

Because he knows that Ryn has a habit of missing meals when he's engrossed in his work, Joan decides to take a tray of food to the Coluan boy in his laboratory. He finds Ryn hard at work, programming something on the computer that Joan can't even begin to make out. Ryn is so consumed with it, though, that he doesn't even notice when Joan comes up behind him.

“Hey, Hero, I brought you some lunch,” Joan speaks up, setting the tray on the counter. He snickers when Ryn jumps and accidentally punches several random keys, upsetting his coding with a line of gibberish. “Easy there, Boy Wonder.”

When he sees Joan, Ryn relaxes a little but he scowls. “You shouldn't sneak up on me like that. I could have been doing something dangerous.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Joan replies with a cheeky grin. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Ryn admits, rolling his chair over to the tray of food. He grabs one of the sandwiches that Joan made for him and tears into it.

Joan hops up on the counter to sit and watch Ryn eat, cheerfully swinging his legs back and forth. He doesn't remember ever feeling this good about something. Last night changed everything. And today, it feels good to take care of Ryn. Finally, he feels like he's where he wants to be, looking out for Ryn while they're up here in the stars.

Swallowing a mouthful of food, Ryn says, “You look... pleased with yourself.”

“Do I?” Joan grins and waggles his eyebrows. “I could tell you why but I'd prefer to show you.”

He leans in to kiss Ryn but the other boy rolls his chair back, putting distance between them. Joan's face falls in disappointment.

“What's wrong, Ryn? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it's not you,” Ryn says quickly. “It's me. I'm just not sure what I want right now but.. I don't want to cheat on Laurie anymore while I'm still technically in a relationship with her. And I'm not sure I want to break things off with her. I don't want you to get your hopes up.”

It takes Joan a moment to recover from that. It's so sudden and... after last night, how can Ryn still be having doubts about them? He grips the counter, his knuckles turning white from the effort. Still, he tries to calm himself down and face this situation like a reasonable human being. There's no point in getting mad at Ryn. He can feel the insecurity the other boy is feeling, and it just wouldn't be fair to Ryn if Joan reacted to this with anger.

“I know you're confused,” he says, keeping his voice level. “But I love you, Ryn. I want to be with you. Didn't you want to be with me last night?”

“Last night... Last night was a lapse in judgment,” Ryn replies, his voice quivering as he speaks. “I shouldn't have done that, regardless of my feelings for you. It wasn't fair to Laurie.”

“Sprock Laurie!” Joan explodes, unable to keep his cool any longer. “Why's it so important to you that she thinks you're the perfect boyfriend when you don't even like that she thinks it? Why should I be so understanding of her feelings when it's me that has to take a backseat because of her? I want you, Ryn, more than anything else in this world. Don't you get that? Don't you care?”

Ryn stares at him with wide eyes for a few moments before looking away. “I'm sorry. I don't know what I want, and I know it's not fair. It's like I told you; I'm not a good person and this is just another example of my shortcomings. But until I know what I want, I'm not cutting Laurie off. You have to respect that.”

To hell with that, Joan think. He can see no good reason why he should keep sitting back and letting Laurie Vidar kiss Ryn, touch him, think she has  _any_ claim to him. “I will not let her have you, Ryn!”

“You're not _letting_ anyone do anything!” Ryn snaps at him, standing from his chair. “It's not your choice!”

Joan reaches out without thinking and grabs Ryn by the arm. “No! I won't allow it! Don't you understand? You belong with me, Ryn! You're not hers, you're  _mine_ !”

He can tell immediately that he's said the wrong thing but he's still surprised by the blow when Ryn punches him square in the jaw and yanks his other arm out of Joan's hold. Joan shouts in shock and pain, raising his hand to press against his aching jaw.

“I don't belong to _anyone_ ,” Ryn seethes. “Don't you ever even think that again, do _you_ understand? I've been someone's possession, I've had no control over my life before, and that will _never_ happen to me again as long as I have the power to keep it from happening. If you love me like you say you do, you'll back off. Maybe I'll forgive you for what you just said.”

“Ryn...” Joan starts to say but the other boy cuts him off.

“Don't. Just don't say anything to me right now. Please leave and let me think about this for a while. I need space.”

Because he knows he deserves Ryn's disapproval, Joan nods and leaves, his hand still pressed to his jaw.

He curses himself for losing it like that. Of course, he didn't mean it like it sounded at all. He just meant that he loves Ryn, truly loves him, and he doesn't want to back off and let someone else take his place when he knows that Ryn would be happy with him. But with how pessimistic Ryn is anyway, he should have known that his words would trigger a bad reaction.

The last thing he'd ever want is to remind Ryn of the abuse he suffered at his mother's hands, and yet that's exactly what he did. Maybe he needs time too, time to cool off and think about this situation rationally. He doesn't want to be angry at Ryn, but he is, and he's angry with himself for not handling this situation better. For now, he'll back off and give Ryn his space, because he doesn't own Ryn and he can't make Ryn's decisions for him.

But it's hard, it's so hard, to tell himself that he can't just take away all of Ryn's insecurity. The only thing he can do is try to show Ryn that he means what he says, and that's going to take time. It will keep hurting until he has gotten through to the other boy. Maybe it will always hurt. But that is all that he has, and if that's all he can get, he'll take it.

–

Ryn throws himself into his work and doesn't interact with his teammates for any reason other than accidentally running into them in the cafeteria. After all of the drama with Joan, he just wants to hide until Laurie gets back. He's exhausted with his failure to properly associate with the other Legionnaires, particularly his fellow rookies.

At least Joan has respected his wish for space since that last fight. Joan's actions surprised Ryn, and scared him a little. The whole incident had brought back memories that Ryn prefers not to dwell on, about his mother and the way she always treated him. Such things are better left in the past where they belonged. He doesn't want to spend his whole life running away from what his mother did to him.

It's so depressing, though, because for a little while, Ryn had been thinking that maybe Joan really did understand. If Joan had been patient, Ryn thinks he probably would have broken things off with Laurie, no matter that he still has feelings for the girl. The need to be understood is so great for him that nothing else can possibly match its importance.

Today he feels doubly depressed because he just heard from some of the other Legionnaires that a new mission has come up, and a few have already been assigned to the away team. None of the rookies have a place on the team, including Ryn, despite how hard he has worked to prove himself.

He's had a look at the debrief on the mission, thanks to Ultra Kid, who is one of the Legionnaires who got a place on the team. What he learns about it thrills him. This is a big mission. The Dominion is once again invading U.P. space, nothing new there, but they've vocally threatened war and Sister Laurel Gand-Vidar, the ambassador to the planet Daxam, reports that Daxam has been making plans to align themselves with the Dominion.

More importantly, Colu is involved in all of this too. Despite their position in the United Planets being tenuous, they've recently volunteered information about Dominator spies stealing data from their master computers and have asked the Legion for assistance in safeguarding their technology. Ryn knows there are only two people in the universe who could set up a firewall on Colu's main computers strong enough to keep out the Dominators. And Querl is pregnant, not likely to leave the security of their home in Smallville, so that really only leaves one person.

But when he voices this to Cub, the young man laughs at him and pats him on the shoulder. “Come on, kid, we can't take the Baby Brainy with us. This is big stuff. We have to try and retrieve the information stolen by the Dominators in the first place, not to mention how dangerous it would be on Colu for you. Everyone knows that Colu hates your family. There are people on that planet who wouldn't hesitate to shoot you on sight.”

“But I can do this!” Ryn tries to insist. “Surely protecting their systems is more important to them than a grudge against my brother?"

“You don't understand,” says Cub. “Your brother is a traitor in their eyes, and that makes you a traitor by association. Querl tried to interfere when Colu's agent Sharn Nux tried to take out the Robotica threat. Granted, your brother had his reasons, but Colu doesn't care about that. They have a vendetta against him, and even if the government lets you come back, you won't be safe from ordinary citizens who have been taught to hate you.”

Aggravated, Ryn goes back to his lab with a heavy heart. How long does he have to stay grounded before he's recognized as an important member of the team? Sure, the stuff he does here on Legion World is important too but he's young and inspired and he wants to see some action! And he could really show his teammates how useful he is on this mission. People would start to respect him, for a change.

Joan just has to show up and make things worse. The human boy comes carrying him a cup of coffee, which he sits on the counter near where Ryn is furiously working on new designs for thrusters on the Legion shuttles.

“That looks complicated,” Joan comments.

“It is,” Ryn grits out, trying to stay focused on his work. He glances briefly at the coffee. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Joan says, taking the liberty of having a seat on the counter. “So, I heard you're trying to get in on the new mission.”

“Cosmic Boy doesn't want a rookie on the team,” Ryn says, clenching his jaw with the effort it takes to keep from exploding. He's so irritated and angry. If he could just go on a real mission, get away from all the teenage drama and be part of something he has dreamed about since he was three, then this would feel like it was worth it.

A false feeling of peace settles on him but he recognizes it and pushes it away, glaring at the boy he gave his virginity to. “Stop that. Don't try to take my feelings away from me, it isn't right.”

Joan seems shocked. “I... just wanted to help you calm down.”

“You should ask first!” Ryn exclaims. And suddenly he's crying, and he turns away from the other boy, raising one hand to cover up pathetic little sobs that he can't hold back. “All my life, I've wanted to be a Legionnaire. And what the sprock am I doing? Repairing the Legion shuttles like I work in a garage. It isn't fair. I want to be out there. I want to do something useful with my life.”

“Oh, Ryn, don't cry.” Joan starts to reach out to him but then thinks better of it and draws his hands back. “I could make you feel better. You don't have to be sad.”

Ryn slams his hand against the counter, causing Joan to jump in surprise and nearly upsetting the cup of coffee. “I want to prove myself! I don't need you to make me feel better, don't you get it? This is what I was born for and no one will take me seriously!”

A small “ping” sounds from Ryn's omnicom, causing both boys to freeze. Ryn lifts his omnicom to see that he has a message from Cosmic Boy. Why would he be getting a message from Uncle Rokk? He opens the message, not knowing what to expect.

His eyes widen as he scans the message. “I... I'm on the mission! Uncle Rokk put me on the mission!”

“What?” Joan looks flabbergasted. “But... But it's dangerous! You can't go on a mission like that alone!”

“Alone?” Ryn arches an eyebrow at him. “I won't be alone. I'm going with a whole team.”

But he knows what Joan means. Joan doesn't want Ryn to go on a mission without _him_. Too bad, because Ryn is going without him and there's no way Joan's going to get assigned to a mission this dangerous. They _need_ Ryn or Cosmic Boy wouldn't have assigned him to it. Joan is pretty much useless, especially since his combat skills are still sub par.

“Are you sure about this?” Joan asks. “Are you ready for something this important.”

“I was born ready,” Ryn snaps at him. He quickly saves his work on the shuttle thrusters and shuts the project down. He opens up the mission debrief to read through it a second time. He's never been so excited before, not even when he was admitted into the Legion. Finally, here's his chance to really be a hero.

He sweeps out of his lab, mind set on preparing for the mission, and leaves Joan staring after him without a thought to the other boy's feelings. He doesn't think about Laurie either, or the tangled web he's gotten himself caught in. This is his chance to get away from all that.

Uncle Rokk won't regret assigning him to the mission, of that much Ryn is certain.

TBC


	10. Nothing To Lose

**Up in the Stars**

**Chapter 10: Nothing To Lose**

_I'm bullet proof, nothing to lose._

_Fire away, fire away._

_Ricochet, you take your aim._

_Fire away, fire away._

_You shoot me down, but I won't fall._

_I am titanium._

_-David Guetta, feat. Sia, “Titanium”_

“You don't belong on this mission,” is the first thing Cub says to Ryn when the away team meets. The young man looks angry, though Ryn can't imagine what he's done wrong. It's true that he wanted to be on this mission but he didn't do anything to make Cosmic Boy put him on the team. That was all his uncle's doing.

Ryn tries not to let Cub's pessimism hurt his feelings as he straps into his seat. “I have something to offer the team, Ultra Kid. I know I'm just a rookie but I've been training for this and-”

“And nothing, don't even get me started on this,” Cub growls back, taking the seat beside Ryn. “Listen to everything I say when we get to Colu, do you understand? One wrong move could be deadly. Not only is this mission dangerous already, sending _you_ to a planet that hates you is just plain stupid. I can't believe Cosmic Boy put you on the team.”

A tall, menacing Talokian woman walks past them to the pilot's seat. Umbra glances at Cub, narrowing her eyes. “This is no time for doubting your superiors, Ultra Kid. No one is happy about bringing the boy, but sometimes we have to do things we don't like on this team. Just keep him safe once we reach Colu.”

Even with a senior Legionnaire's admonishing him, Cub continues to look sour throughout their trip to Colu. When the cruiser touches down, Cub is the first one out of his seat and he puts a protective hand on Ryn's shoulder as they exit the cruiser. There are only three of them, Ryn, Cub, and Umbra. Despite Cub's foul mood, Ryn is glad he's there. It would be an understatement to say he's nervous about this mission and Umbra is not exactly a comforting person, not to mention that Ryn doesn't know her at all. He is at least familiar with Cub and knows the young man will have his back.

A small group of Coluans meet them at the dock. One man steps forward and introduces himself as Varz Tif, the current president of Colu. He has brought several armed guards with him, for Ryn's protection, he says.

“We are pleased that the Legion responded to our request for help,” Tif says, a practiced politician. “Unfortunately, many citizens of Colu have negative feelings towards the Dox family. We feel it would be in the best interest of Mr. Dox if he is accompanied by a guard at all times while he is here.”

Tif never calls him Brainiac 6, Ryn notices, and this makes him frown.

“He has a guard,” Cub speaks up. “I'll be with Brainiac 6 for as long as this takes. Umbra will be handling all the paperwork and politics.”

Admittedly, it's nice to know that the guy with super strength is going to be guarding him the whole time he's here. Ryn glances at Cub and dares to smile at the older Legionnaire. Cub scowls at first but then lets his expression soften and shrugs his shoulders.

“Ah, of course,” says President Tif. “Well, let me take you to our master computers. I'm sure it won't take very long for Mr. Dox to configure the Legion's firewalls with Colu's own but we have set aside sleeping quarters for the three of you for the next week, if necessary.”

“This shouldn't take Brainiac 6 more than a couple of days,” Umbra speaks up. “However, this is a one time favor, President Tif. We hope you will consider allowing the U.P. to handle such matters in the future. If Colu would comply with the galactic laws, Colu's master computers would be well enough protected already.”

Tif gives her an unimpressed look, one eyebrow arched. “Thank you, Umbra, but Colu has no need of the U.P.'s protection. Our firewalls were compromised by the Dominion spies and that is why we need to use the Legion's firewalls until our own are repaired. Our finest minds are already on the job but building new firewalls as complex as our old ones, which must also be completely different so as to avoid future compromise, will take us some time. We appreciate your assistance.”

It's a very diplomatic way of telling Umbra to shut the sprock up and Ryn recognizes it. He has to grin to himself, secretly amused. It's very interesting to be around his own people. He can tell by the scenery that he would like this place. Living here will never be an option, however, and that's probably just as well.

Even though the Coluans are incredibly intelligent, Ryn starts to see why Querl dislikes the place so much when he's shown to the master computers. The technology is nice but outdated, which seems out of place on a planet inhabited by the universe's smartest people. Querl always said that Colu was stagnant. Once, a long time ago, they'd been a beacon of hope. Since then, many things had happened to make the Coluans reclusive and unwilling to keep up with the times.

“It's going to take some time,” he says after studying over the computers for a while. “These systems are not entirely compatible with Legion systems, so I'll have to make some adjustments to the firewalls to make them match. In the meantime, I could also make some upgrades to the computer's main console that would prove very useful.”

“The firewalls and nothing more,” President Tif says firmly. “That is all we request.”

Ryn thinks about arguing with the man. Surely Tif is intelligent enough to recognize when something he could benefit from is being offered to him. If Ryn made a good case, maybe the president would take it under consideration. However, Cub shoots him a look that tells him to let it go, so he lets the matter slide.

“I should only need three days,” he says. “Then we can be on our way.”

Tif looks relieved by this news. “The sooner, the better. I'm afraid I must excuse myself to attend to other matters, but Officer Rav and Officer Nux will show you to your rooms so that you may settle in.”

It seems fair enough to Ryn, but Cub still looks unhappy and Umbra... well, perhaps Umbra always looks like she wants to kill someone. Maybe, in fact, she does always want to kill someone.

He only remembers her vaguely from his childhood. She was at the wedding, and she did visit their home a couple of times with M'onel, the current leader of the Legion. Laurie refers to M'onel as “Uncle Lar,” but always politely calls Umbra by her code name. Ryn is pretty sure that M'onel and Umbra were once an item – or maybe they had been a couple of different times – but now, although they often work together, there is always a professional distance between the two. Umbra, as far as Ryn can tell, exists in a perpetual state of unhappiness.

When they are shown to their rooms, Cub initially gripes because he and Ryn are in separate rooms, though the rooms are side by side. It occurs to Ryn that Cub is really and truly worried for Ryn's safety. If he's honest, it comes as a surprise that Cub is so worried about him. He brushed Cub's objections off before as a lack of faith in Ryn's abilities, but he's starting to see how anxious Cub is about this whole thing. The older Legionnaire really does think that Ryn is in danger here.

But if Cosmic Boy allowed Ryn to come on this mission, Ryn thinks Cub must be overreacting. Uncle Rokk would never let Ryn do something that was likely to get him killed. He probably made certain that Colu was safe for Ryn before he put him on the away team.

Officer Nux is the guard assigned to Ryn and the man stays outside of Ryn's room, saying that he will be there at all times when Ryn is in his room, and if Ryn goes anywhere, Officer Nux will go with him. Ryn is not thrilled about this but he supposes it's better than sharing a room with Cub and getting griped at by his superior the whole time.

As it turns out, Officer Nux has a sense of humor and is a decent conversationalist. He's about Querl's age, or maybe a little younger, and knows a lot about artificial intelligence, though he claims that creating artificial life is against his beliefs. He has lived in Colu's capital city his whole life and studied extensively at Colu's finest academy. He is also a great deal of help to Ryn with configuring the firewalls and adjusting the master computers. For lunch, he joins Ryn and Cub in the cafeteria and entertains Ryn throughout the meal with the funniest jokes Ryn has ever heard (none of which Cub seems to understand).

By the end of the first day, Cub is seething. He pulls Ryn aside and murmurs, “Watch that one. He's up to something.”

Ryn frowns at Cub and shrugs his shoulders. “He has been nothing but accommodating, Ultra Kid. I see no reason to be suspicious of him.”

Despite his warning, Cub does not offer an explanation for his misgivings. But at dinner, when Officer Nux brings them each a glass of silver ale to compliment their meal, Cub refuses to drink his. Ryn, on the other hand, loves silver ale and downs his in short order. He feels a little dizzy as a result, but thinks nothing of it, blaming it on drinking the alcohol too fast.

Cub helps him back to his room, by which point he's feeling more than just dizzy. The other Legionnaire even helps him take off his shoes because Ryn can't seem to focus on anything. If he narrows his eyes, Ryn can make out a concerned expression on Cub's face.

“Don't leave your room for any reason,” Cub advises him. “You're just young and silver ale is powerful stuff for Coluans. I'm surprised they even serve it here. If you sleep it off, you should be fine in the morning.”

It's true that in the past, Ryn has never consumed very much silver ale. Usually, it only takes him a couple of sips to get buzzed, and Mr. Kem in the Legion's cafeteria never lets him have very much of it. Past experience with Coluans makes him cautious, he always says. Tonight, Ryn drank a whole glass of the stuff.

He has fitful dreams, weird nonsense about breaking up with Laurie and getting probation from the Legion for upsetting the prettiest Legionnaire. Joan is in his dreams too, bring him chocolates and stuffed bears and claiming that every day is Valentine's Day. It's so weird that Ryn is grateful when his sleep is disturbed by another person entering his room.

He opens his eyes when he feels someone shaking his shoulder and sees Officer Nux bent over him. The man looks panicked and Ryn shakes off a little of his stupor long enough to ask, “What's the matter, Officer?”

“I'm afraid this facility has been compromised,” the officer tells him. “We were concerned that some Coluans might try to attack you while you are here, and I've just received word that this is no longer a safe place for you. We'll have to move you immediately. Your teammates will leave right behind you to act as decoys, as we have reason to believe that a small group of terrorists are waiting for an opportunity to assassinate you and we need to keep them off of your trail.”

“Assassinate me?” Ryn mumbles, sitting up and pulling on his boots. He's still not really awake enough to process what Officer Nux is saying. “Why would they want to assassinate me?”

Officer Nux pulls him too his feet, guiding him out of the room with a firm grip on Ryn's arm. “There are people on Colu who see your family as a threat. Some believe the universe would be better off if the Dox family line was eliminated. For the most part, you're safe from such threats anywhere in the universe except here, on Colu. Some Coluans simply won't tolerate the presence of a Brainiac.”

It has honestly never occurred to Ryn before this mission that anyone would want to kill him. He has always known that Colu has a vendetta against Querl, but he also knows that Colu tried to fight Querl for custody of him years ago and only gave up when Mr. Brande and the U.P. intervened. If they wanted him back then, why do they want to kill Ryn now?

“Shouldn't Ultra Kid be with me?” he asks as he struggles to keep up with Officer Nux. The hallway passes by him in a blur and the ground beneath his feet feels unsteady.

“Ultra Kid is with Umbra, as I've said. They will be diverting the terrorists.” Officer Nux tightens his hold on Ryn's arm, causing the boy to wince. “Don't worry, Mr. Dox, I will be able to adequately protect you. You are in good hands.”

Since he has no reason to doubt Officer Nux, and because he can't really think coherently enough to argue, Ryn lets the officer lead him out of the facility to a small cruiser. Officer Nux bundles him inside of it before climbing in beside him. Another Coluan man is driving it and he passes something back to Officer Nux before starting the cruiser.

Ryn recognizes the item as a syringe right before Officer Nux jabs him in the neck with it and injects its contents into Ryn's bloodstream.

“Hey,” Ryn mumbles sluggishly, pressing his hand against the tingling side of his neck when Officer Nux draws the syringe back. He feels the officer's hands fumbling with his belt a moment later. “No, that's... mine. My forceshield...”

“This technology rightfully belongs to the Coluan people,” Officer Nux growls at him and the world is starting to go dark. Ryn can't fight off the urge to sleep that grips him now.

He slumps against the cruiser's window and lets everything fade out.

–

When it is discovered that Ryn and his guard are missing on the morning of the second day, Cub nearly goes ballistic. He demands immediate action from Colu's government and they are quick to supply him with all of their records on Officer Laz Nux, as well as put out an alert throughout the planet for the officer and Ryn.

However, it's quickly discovered that Officer Nux and his accomplice, a Coluan scientist by the name of Orv Furn, are no longer on the planet. It seems that the two left Colu on a military vessel some hours earlier and their trail has already gone cold.

Cub's fears only grow when he discovers that Laz Nux is the brother of Sharn Nux, the Coluan woman who disappeared along with Computo after nearly killing Brainiac 5. There's a very good chance that Nux wants revenge for his sister's probable death and he probably holds Brainiac 5 responsible for the whole incident. With Brainiac 6 on Colu, Nux probably found himself faced with the perfect opportunity to avenge his sister. Ryn is in very serious danger.

Umbra contacts the Legion, calling for backup on Colu and additional teams to be sent out in the general area. There's a slight chance that they can still catch Nux before he gets too far.

The second half of the away team lands on Colu a few hours later, shortly followed by Cosmic Boy and a small team of senior Legionnaires from Legion World. Cub wastes no time in confronting Cosmic Boy about the whole fiasco.

“He shouldn't have even been here!” he yells at his superior, not caring that this could cost him dearly in the future. “You sent a kid to the one place in the universe that's out for his blood! What did you think was going to happen, exactly?”

“Brainiac 6 has earned his place in the Legion and deserved the opportunity to prove his capability in the field,” Cosmic Boy insists. “I sent you with him, Ultra Kid, because I believed you would be the most capable of protecting him. There was no way to foresee that anyone would abduct the boy.”

“If they kill him, his blood is on your hands,” Cub snarls. “You never should have sent a rookie on this mission.”

It's obvious by the look on Cosmic Boy's face that he does feel guilty for this but Cub won't take pity on the man. Not when one of Cub's charges is in enemy hands, likely to be murdered or worse. He moves on to the Legion's current leader, M'onel, who had to have approved Ryn's participation. He's just as guilty, in Cub's opinion.

“You're our leader, you're supposed to keep Legionnaires safe!” he says. “How can we trust a leader who allows something like this to happen? You've lost touch – you and Cosmic Boy – and you've both lost my respect! I remember a time when neither of you would have ever dreamed of involving a rookie in a situation this volatile.”

Umbra steps in, putting herself between M'onel and Cub. “Sometimes we make difficult choices in the Legion, for the greater good of the universe. This was a carefully thought out plan and no one could have anticipated this turn of events. You will do well to hold your tongue, child.”

“You're _all_ out of touch!” Cub declares before stomping off, furious. He feels helpless in this, unable to do anything to protect one of the children he was entrusted with. If something happens to Ryn, he'll never be able to face the boy's parents. He blames himself too. When Ryn was taken, Cub was in the next room, sound asleep. How the boy was taken so easily, Cub isn't sure, but he suspects the silver ale was drugged. He'd been prudent not to drink it, but that hadn't done him any good.

He loses his temper and punches a wall, needing to take his frustration out on something. Then he winces and rubs his sore knuckles, having forgotten to use ultra strength. The pain clears his mind a little and he takes a deep breath.

There's a chance that Ryn is still alive. As angry as he is at the senior Legionnaires for allowing this to happen, he wants to help rescue his charge. That means working with his superiors and keeping his cool, even if he wants to punch Cosmic Boy in his sprocking face.

It's likely that Ryn has no idea that Cub has been trying to watch out for him. The Legion is mostly a welcoming place but new recruits are sometimes an easy target for frustrated older members who need someone to blame when a mission goes bad. That's why Cub stepped in to be the “den mother” for the newest recruits. He remembers his first days as an official Legionnaire and he knows that having good role models was extremely important for him.

Besides all that, Brainiac 5 is the whole reason Cub can lead a semi-normal life now and for that, Cub owes him. He thought he'd make it up to B5 by looking out for Ryn, but now he's going to have to tell Querl that it's his fault Ryn was taken. The guilt is almost too much for Cub to bear.

Eventually, he finds a corner to sit down in and hides his face in his hands. He reminds himself that this is what happens to Legionnaires sometimes. Kidnapping is fairly commonplace, and though it has been a long time, Legionnaires have died before. Anyone who tries out for the Legion knows the risks, and Ryn was raised by two former Legionnaires who knew the risks all too well.

But Ryn isn't dead yet, Cub is sure of that, and Cub is not going to give up until he either gets the boy back or he has indisputable evidence that Ryn is gone. Despite his anger at Cosmic Boy and M'onel, Cub knows that the Legion won't give up either. But he also knows that the fearless leaders have a bad habit of trying to play things by the rules. If the U.P. doesn't agree to let the Legion track down Ryn's kidnappers, Cub will be happy to resign his post and go after the boy on his own. He just hopes that it doesn't come to that.

–

When Ryn's systems come back online, checking and double-checking his physical status, the first thing he realizes is that he is physically unharmed but whatever drug they injected him with is still making his body sluggish. His belt is missing from around his waist and his flight ring is gone, both very valuable tools to any Legionnaire. For one thing, his flight ring keeps him from suffocating due to inadequate oxygen supply or from being poisoned by any foreign toxins he might be exposed to. His belt would keep him from getting the shit beaten out of him. Without them, he is vulnerable.

His cheek rests against a cold metal floor, and he focuses on that sensation while he waits to regain full motor function. One thing a Dox does not do is lose face in difficult situation. He learned from both Querl and his mother that one should face every obstacle with grace and poise. Floundering about like a fish out of water is for the lesser lifeforms.

He pushes himself slowly off the floor and takes in his surroundings. The space he's in resembles the inside of a metal box. It is very small, with no windows and now obvious entrance. He assumes that it is some sort of holding cell as he walks the perimeter, knocking on the walls to check for any inconsistencies in their density. 

This must be the doing of Officer Nux. He'd been naïve to trust that man. In truth, perhaps he'd been too eager to believe that the people of Colu would welcome him to their planet. They hate Querl and Brainiac 4, after all. Ryn had stupidly thought that he could earn their respect if he helped them. Obviously, that is not the case.

Hours pass uneventfully, and Ryn thinks he might be going crazy from the utter silence. He starts talking out loud, going over his theories as though there is another person with him, just to fill the emptiness. He almost wishes his captors would come and interrogate him or _something,_ anything to ease his boredom. This is definitely the less glamorous side of being a hero.

However, he thinks he should probably be taking this a little more seriously. It's just that nothing that has happened thus far has been particularly frightening. Ryn had assumed that getting kidnapped would be a little more dramatic than this. Lyle would probably laugh at him for thinking like that if he was here. He'd give Ryn a lecture on how real life doesn't always work the way Ryn imagines it will, and Lyle is almost always right about such things.

When pacing becomes too tiresome, he sits down on the floor and leans against a metal wall, feeling the coolness against his cheek one more. He wonders what Cub is doing and if there ever were any terrorists trying to kill him on Colu, or if that was just a story that Officer Nux made up. Maybe the Legion is searching for him by now. Joan is probably worried sick if anyone has told him. When Ryn gets out of this, he wonders if Joan will be happy to see him. His thoughts turn briefly to Laurie. What if he never gets the chance to tell her the truth?

It starts to set in that this is a bad situation. Part of him is waiting for the Legion to bust in and take him home. That's what they do, right? That's the point of being on a team, right?

Grife, speaking of teamwork, he really sucks at that. The newbies are supposed to learn how to work together. So far, Ryn has slept with one of them, cheated on another, two of them hate him just being related to Brainiac, and the other one is his obnoxious “cousin” he has never actually liked. They all seem to like each other well enough. Ryn is the odd one out.

He's the odd one out at home as well. Even though Querl and Lyle adopted him, Ryn has never seen himself as their child. They're more like big brothers than parents. Part of him knows that they share a connection with Grace that they've never had with him. Now they're having another child to fill the empty space that Ryn left when he joined the Legion. It almost feels like he's getting kicked out permanently. But what if he still needs them? Can he go home?

That is, of course, if he isn't brutally murdered by the people who have kidnapped him, whoever they are.

When a door suddenly materializes in the wall, after hours of complete silence, it catches Ryn off guard. He jumps, pressing himself back against the wall behind him, and his heart pounds in his chest as a familiar figure steps into his prison.

Officer Nux smiles at him, as though they are old friends and he is pleasantly surprised by Ryn's presence here. “Mr. Dox, you are looking well! I trust you find your accommodations suitable to your needs?”

“Cut to the chase, Officer Nux,” Ryn growls as he rises to his feet. He refuses to appear vulnerable in front of his kidnapper. “Do you have a reason for abducting me? Where are we and what do you want?”

“Where we are is neither here nor there,” Nux replies. “At any rate, it's none of your business. What I want, well, it's very simple. I want revenge and you are merely my window of opportunity. You see, your older brother took someone very important from me, and now I have the chance to pay him back in kind. It just so happens that I've found some other people willing to take you off my hands.”

It all starts to makes sense. Ryn quickly puts the pieces together. “There never was a threat from the Dominators. You were the one breaching the firewalls to make it look that way. This... It was just a ploy to get me to come to Colu.”

Nux just smiles even wider. “You really are a sharp one. Too sharp, just like your brother and your mother. I'm doing the universe a favor in ridding it of you.”

Ryn feels sick to his stomach. This man is going to kill him, he thinks. But then, what was it Nux said about finding someone to take Ryn off of his hands?

“What are you going to do with me?”

“Oh, first, you and I are going to spend a little quality time together.” Nux takes a few steps closer to Ryn and the wall closes up again like the entrance was never there. “I know all about you, you know. I know what your mother did to you.”

The first blow takes Ryn by surprise. His captor's fist collides with his jaw and sends him spinning backwards. He catches himself on the wall and drops into a defensive stance instinctively – after all, he has trained for combat. When Nux comes towards him, Ryn tries to throw a punch in retaliation, but Nux catches his fist and twists his arm behind his back, slamming Ryn against the wall.

“Your brother killed my sister,” Nux hisses into Ryn's ear, cruelly twisting his arm until Ryn cries out in pain. “Before this is over, I'm going to kill you too. But not before you suffer.”

He shoves Ryn down to the floor and pins him there, punching him in the face repeatedly. Ryn fights as best he can, trying to knock the larger man off of him, but Nux is a trained officer and bigger than Ryn. He has the advantage, and though it is obviously not easy for him to keep Ryn down, he manages it.

One hard blow to the temple has Ryn seeing stars. He goes limp, his head buzzing, and he feels Nux move off of him. Then, the man's boot connects with his gut and knocks the air out of Ryn. He gasps, wrapping his arms around his middle, and tries to curl in on himself while Nux keeps kicking whatever part of Ryn's body that he can reach. 

Ryn tastes his own blood in his mouth. His lip is split open from the blows to his face. This feels familiar and he knows what to do, even though it has been so long now since the last time. He shuts down, letting his mind drift away from the present, and he can't feel the pain anymore.

The cool metal of the floor against his cheek is more interesting anyway.

When he comes back to himself, he is alone again and his body aches. He thinks about pushing himself up to a sitting position, but the thought makes him so tired and in the end, he just stays where he is. Part of him hopes for rescue. Part of him hopes that his teammates never see him like this.

He can't help but think about Mother, and how she used to beat him until he could barely move. But then, Mother rewarded him. She would pet his head and tell him what a good boy he was. Mother always said that she was sorry that she had to hurt him, and Ryn loved her so it was his job to help her, wasn't it?

No, Querl told him that it wasn't his job. Querl and Lyle have never raised a hand to Ryn, not even when they probably should. They are careful with him in ways that they are not with Grace. They know that Mother messed Ryn up and he's damaged. He'll always be damaged.

Once, he tried to kill himself. It was a momentary lapse of judgment, something irrational that took hold of him. He had needed the pain, and he'd been sick to death with shame. If he'd been logical about it, he could have found a more efficient way to kill himself. Slitting his wrists had been painful and bloody, and Querl had screamed so loud when he found Ryn in the bathroom.

Joan doesn't know about that. Ryn wonders if Joan would still love him if he knew that Ryn has these moments where sanity flies out the window.

He's bleeding on the floor. Ryn licks the blood off his lips and finally pushes himself up. As much as he would like to, he can't just lay here and feel sorry for himself. He has to try and formulate some sort of a plan.

When he looks around again (which is hindered by the fact that one of his eyes is slowly swelling shut), he realizes that the door to the cell is gone. There's no trace of where Nux came in. Ryn's not unfamiliar with the technology this likely involves, but from the inside, he knows that it's next to impossible to break out.

“Sprock,” he says out loud to himself. It satisfies both his need to express his anger and his desire to break the silence. “Sprocking damn it all!”

He tells himself that he won't cry but his eyes sting and his face feels damp. He ignores this. If he can just convince himself that he is strong enough, this won't matter. After all, he is a Legionnaire. Getting beat up is part of the job description. Maybe when he gets back to Legion World, people will take him more seriously because he's seen real field action. Marc will probably be jealous and Joan and Laurie will fuss over him until his injuries heal. This isn't so bad.

After a while, he leans back against the wall and tries to ignore his wounds and get some sleep. It's hard to take his mind off of the way his body aches. He can't rest so he decides to assess his injuries. His lip is split, his left eye is now swollen shut, and his face is bruised. His abdomen and legs are bruised. One rib feels like it might be cracked.

Even though his mother told him she needed to hurt him, Ryn never understood why hurting another person would help her. He doesn't understand why one person would want to cause another person pain.

The wall opens up again and Ryn automatically flattens himself against the wall behind him when Nux steps back into the cell. Behind him, there are two Dominators, each armed. Ryn is surprised to see them. He had assumed that the Dominators weren't involved, that they were just a convenient lie for Nux to use, but he sees now that he was wrong.

“Come along, Dox,” says Nux, holding out a hand to Ryn. “Be a good boy and my friends here won't shoot you.”

Ryn watches the armed men as he pushes himself up to his feet. It hurts but he manages to stay standing. Nux grasps him by the arm and pulls him along, out of the cell.

They're on a Dominator warship. Ryn recognizes the ship's structure immediately. Nux drags him along from the holding area and pushes him into a seat, cuffing Ryn's wrists and securing them to the arms of the chair. Ryn's gaze falls on a strange helmet lying in the seat beside him, attached by wires to some sort of machine.

“Are you certain you can reprogram him?” one of the Dominators asks Nux.

“Of course,” says Nux as he lifts the helmet and settles it onto Ryn's head. “This technology was saved from working models left by the Computer Tyrants on Colu. It has been used successfully in recent years, though it was declared unlawful two years ago. I have personally seen it in action. I know it works.”

Ryn's hands grip the chair arms and he tries to regulate his breathing. They're going to mess with his brain? No! They can't do that!

“Officer Nux, if you do this, you'll only be making things worse for yourself.” Ryn licks his lips nervously as he speaks, tasting the blood on his lips again. “When the Legion apprehends you-”

Nux strikes him across the face to silence him, casually and without remorse. Any fondness he once pretended to hold for Ryn is gone now and he seems to hold an expression of disgust every time he looks on Ryn.

“Hopefully, you'll be dead by then,” the other Coluan sneers at him. “And I will be long gone, as these good men will be dropping me off as soon as I've modified you to suit their needs. You know what you're going to do for them?”

He leans in close to Ryn's face and a wicked smile twists his lips. “You're going to be a weapon for them, boy. You're going to help them conquer entire worlds.”

Before Ryn can respond, Nux turns on his machine. Ryn hears it start up, the sound thrumming loudly through the helmet on his head, and then...

… His world bursts into fireworks of pain and he screams.

TBC


	11. Stolen

**Up In the Stars**

**Chapter 11: Stolen**

_Invitation only, grand farewells._

_Crash the best one of the best ones._

_Clear liquor and cloudy eyes._

_Too early to say goodnight._

_You have stolen my heart._

_-Dashboard Confessional, “Stolen”_

The pain seems to go on forever. Ryn can feel the machine working its way into his head, trying to override his thought processes, and he can only scream in pain as his own natural defenses fight off the invasion. The machine seems to gain very little ground, but the longer Ryn has to fight it, the more it hurts. He has never felt pain like this before. It makes him sick and his body lurches forward as he vomits on the floor.

 _Please stop_ , he mentally begs his captors because he can't control his mouth well enough to speak the words out loud. He can't bear this pain. He never even knew a person could hurt this much and still be alive. Dark thoughts slip in, tormenting him further, thoughts about dying and how he wishes they would just kill him and be done with it. If he'd only succeeded in killing himself years ago, he would never have had to feel this. _I just want the pain to stop. Let it kill me, please._

When the machine is turned off, it takes Ryn several minutes to notice because the aftershocks still rolling through his brain are so powerful. He has no concept of how long it has been, only that it was far too long. His head hurts. But his thoughts are still his own. The machine's presence withdraws completely. And when Ryn regains himself enough to see again, he looks up at Nux and he can see the displeasure on the man's face.

“He's stronger than I thought,” Nux declares to the Dominators. “I will continue trying. No being can resist this technology for very long.”

The Dominators glance at one another, clearly unimpressed, but they finally nod. “Continue your efforts and remember that this is your payment to us,” says one of them. “If you've brought his Legion down on us with nothing to show for it, you will regret it.”

Ryn is sick again, the puke splashing onto his boots. They're going to keep doing this to him, he realizes, and he starts to panic. It becomes hard to breathe. His chest heaves with the effort. Is this what being a hero is about? No one told him it would be like this. They warned him of pain, yes, and they warned him that he could be killed, but this is like dying while he's still alive.

And what if they do manage to overcome his mind? There's nothing he can do to stop them from hurting him until they turn him into a monster. They will use him to hurt other people.

Will he ever get to see his family again?

Hands grab him and haul him to his feet. He cannot begin to stand, so they drag him back to the containment cell and they throw him inside, where he lies in a crumpled heap. Once again, he is alone. And he still hurts so much that he cannot think. So he lets his consciousness slip away from him.

The grating sound of Nux's voice wakes him. He doesn't know how long he was asleep but he can barely keep himself awake when he is once more forced from the cell and back to the machine. His resolve crumbles as they place the helmet on his head once more, and he begins to sob.

“Please,” he manages to beg, his voice like sandpaper. His throat hurts. “Please don't.”

The pain blossoms again and washes over him like a wave, overwhelming all of his senses. There is nothing else, no one to appeal to for mercy, and he feels his despair grow. Still, the force that tears at all of his senses cannot find anywhere inside him to root and cling. It shreds his sanity but it cannot hold him.

If they keep trying to do this to him, he is confidant that he will die before the machine manages to turn him into their weapon.

–

“We found Nux's ship. It was abandoned on Rimbor, but there's a chance Nux and Furn are somewhere on the planet. We'll comb it, but it will likely take a couple of days to find them, if they're even still here. Umbra and I are handling the search ourselves but we could use some backup. Send senior members, this matter is too delicate to involve younger Legionnaires in.”

“Alright, M'onel, you'll have your reinforcements. I'm assigning Chameleon and Apparition. They'll be on their way soon. Report back to me with anything you find."

Cub watches the conversation between Cosmic Boy and M'onel in silence, simmering from his seat at the communications console. He makes it no secret that he's angry but he's trying to keep a handle on his distress because he doesn't want to get kicked off the rescue mission. He's already been relegated to observing the situation from Legion World, and Cosmic Boy will take him off duty if it comes down to that.

He tenses when he hears the doors to the room open and he swivels in his seat, as does Cosmic Boy, to face the newcomer. Joan Walter storms in, dressed in his uniform and looking like he wants to murder someone.

“Why wasn't I informed sooner?” the boy demands immediately. He seems to have little fear of his superiors and Cub admires him for that. “Ryn has been missing for 24 hours and I'm just now finding out about it, through a private message?!”

Cosmic Boy tries to placate Joan. “We are handling the situation, Muse. We've already tracked Brainiac 6's kidnappers as far as Rimbor and we have a team there now combing the planet for any trace of them. We will get Brainiac 6 back, but until we knew something more concrete, we did not want to make the entire Legion aware of the situation.”

This only seems to infuriate Joan further, and Rokk doesn't seem to understand the boy's ire, but Cub understands it. Joan cares a great deal about Ryn. Most people wouldn't think too hard on the connection between Joan and Ryn, but Cub knows they're more than friends.

“I could have joined the rescue team!” Joan says. “I want to be out there helping to find him!”

“You're far too young for a mission like this,” Rokk says sensibly but with very little tact. “I know that Ryn is your friend but you won't be helping if you insist on getting involved. You'll be a liability to the team and you'll slow down the rescue efforts because your teammates will be spending time keeping you safe. Do you want to do that to Ryn?”

Joan's shoulders sag. “I can't just sit around doing nothing. There's got to be some way I can help...”

Cub feels bad for the kid but Rokk just turns away from him. “Too many cooks in the kitchen, Muse. My recommendation is that you find a friend to wait this out with. If you're alone right now, you'll make yourself miserable. Rest assured that we're doing our utmost to find Ryn and bring him home.”

“I... I don't think there's anyone I would want to stay with,” Joan says, sounding so young and vulnerable. He's just fifteen years old and Cub can see his youth on his face all too clearly in this moment. “Ryn is... Ryn is the only person I'm close to...”

It surprises Cub to hear Joan admit that. The boy has tried to make friends since he has been here. He often spends time with Shrink, the new recruit from Imsk. However, it seems that it's mostly an act. Maybe Joan is not as confident and mature as they originally assumed he was.

“Hey, kid. Why don't you and I go to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee?” Cub offers. It's not like Cos is letting him actually help with anything right now. He might as well try and do some good elsewhere. Besides, Cosmic Boy is right. If there's nothing he can do to help, it's better if he has someone to talk to. “Cosmic Boy will keep us both updated.”

He smiles broadly at Cos and says, “He knows how _important_ this is to us.”

If Rokk doesn't keep him updated, Cub will personally kick his ass. And he can tell by the look that Rokk gives him in response that the other Legionnaire knows it.

Most of the Legion is still unaware of Ryn's abduction, so they have to be discreet. Luckily, the cafeteria is mostly empty. Kem supplies them both with large cups of coffee and Cub finds a secluded booth, away from the few Legionnaires who are still about. He gives Joan a smile, which the boy tries and fails to return.

“I know you're scared,” Cub says. “We're doing everything in our power to find him and bring him home.”

Joan nods, his lips pressed into a thin line. He wraps his hands around his coffee cup but doesn't drink any of it.

Maybe it's best to distract the boy, Cub decides. “How is your training going? Are your physical combat skills improving?”

At first, Joan doesn't say anything. Then he looks up at Cub, a solemn expression on his face. “I love him. I know, I'm young and you're going to say I can't possibly know that yet. But I would trade my life for his without hesitation. Isn't that what love is? When you feel someone in your heart so much that you only wish you could spend every day with them?”

“I... I honestly don't know,” Cub admits. “I've never been in love.”

He's jealous of the conviction behind the boy's words. How can a fifteen year-old kid be so certain about something like that when Cub has never felt it? It's not the same as the love he feels for his friends and teammates. It's another level of love.

“I don't think he's in love with me,” Joan says, bowing his head. “But that's okay. You can't make someone love you back. When I can do something to help him, to make him happy, it makes me feel so wonderful. Right now, I'm miserable, because I know he's out there somewhere, waiting for someone to rescue him, and I can't save him.”

Cub sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. “I know you want to help. I want to help too. But we both have to realize that we'd probably only be in the way if we tried to interfere. When they find him and they bring him back, that's when you come in, Joan. He'll need his friends.”

“Do you think he's being hurt?” Joan's lower lip trembles. “You know, I told him he was safe now. From the people who have hurt him in the past. But he wasn't safe, was he?”

Well, Cub does know a little about loved ones in the line of fire. His parents are still Legionnaires, and not likely to give the job up any time soon. “This is who he was meant to be. It's a dangerous job but he wants to be a Legionnaire, and you can't stop some people from being heroes. It's just who they are. It's who he is.”

Joan scoffs at that and stares down his coffee. “That's a nice thought, as long as you're not in love with them. If your dream is to one day settle down with that person, maybe raise a family, it just really sucks to know that they'll always be putting their life on the line. He could be happy with me. Why does it have to be the Legion?”

“Maybe it's in his blood,” Cub says. After all, he never considered a different life for himself. It was always the Legion. “Even if he is hurt or... or worse... You have to understand that it was his choice. He wants to make the universe a better place.”

At fifteen years old, Joan probably isn't ready to hear all of this. He's so young. Cub doesn't even remember being that age. It passed in the blink of an eye – maybe it took him only a few days to grow out of it. Cub doesn't know what it's like to be a teenager.

“Yeah, I know I can't change him,” Joan says, pressing his lips into a thin line as he glares at his coffee cup. “That doesn't make it any easier, you know?”

“I think I do,” Cub agrees. “The beautiful thing about the Legion, though, is that you're here for him when he needs you. And he's going to need you.”

Joan sighs and leans back in his seat. He stares at the wall like he's somewhere else in his mind, probably imagining all of the worst case scenarios. Cub doesn't blame him. This whole time, he's been doing the same thing.

Now all either of them can do is wait and hope those imagined scenarios don't come true.

–

Nux enters Ryn's cell and drags him to his feet, but Ryn is limp in his hold. He can barely keep himself upright. His nose is bleeding and has been since the last session with that machine, which was at least an hour ago. His whole body feels like a giant bruise and Ryn just doesn't give a sprock what happens to him anymore. If Nux wants to move him, he'll have to drag him.

Apparently Nux is quick to give up because he drops Ryn unceremoniously to the floor and a few moments later, Ryn feels his body being lifted up. He looks up to see he is being carried by one of the Dominators. This is not typical. They must be going somewhere.

He's right, they are going somewhere. The Dominator holding him steps out of the ship and onto green grass, something Ryn hasn't seen as anything more than a hologram since he left Earth. He hisses at the brightness of sunlight, clenching his eyes shut because he's not used to it. He doesn't need anything else to make him hurt.

“You've failed us,” he hears one of the Dominators hissing, probably to Nux. “The boy is resisting your machine. It is likely that you will be killed. Perhaps our own scientists can think of a way to use the Brainiac child.”

“I delivered him to you, didn't I?” Nux objects, sounding scared. “Listen, I can help you. The boy can't be brainwashed but if you want to be able to use him for anything, you should keep me around. I'm the one who understands Coluan physiology, without me you'll end up killing him or destroying his mind.”

Sprocking coward, Ryn thinks to himself, too tired to speak up. He hopes they do kill Nux. He'd rather be alone with the Dominion than spend another minute in Nux's company. In fact, he'd like to kill the man himself. He's like to rip Nux's heart out and stuff it down his throat.

If the Dominators don't kill the bastard, Ryn will get him, one way or another. The mean streak he's kept buried for years is rising up in him, and a grim determination takes hold of him. He can either give up and die in this place, or he can let this harden him and make him into something more.

“Where... Where are we?” he croaks out, looking at the unfamiliar flora around them. He doesn't know this planet.

The Dominator holding him actually looks down at him and answers. “This is the planet Voorl.”

“Voorl?” Ryn wants to inquire further but he feels nauseous again and he gulps back a mouthful of vomit. He doesn't need to lose anymore liquids, he's already at risk of dehydrating. He knows of the planet vaguely, but it's uninhabited. And, if he remembers correctly, protected by law as a pristine, unpolluted world. No one is supposed to be here.

Which makes sense, he guesses, because what better place to hide than a planet where no one else is allowed?

He loses energy quickly these days and he can feel himself slipping away again. Everything becomes blurry and he thinks he might be dreaming after a while but he's not sure. The world doesn't feel solid again until he's dumped into another cell on a thin cot.

The door to the room shuts solidly and Ryn is left alone for a while. There's a pitcher of water beside the cot, at least, and Ryn forces himself to sit up and drink it. Then he curls up on the cot and tries to rest and recover some strength.

The Legion will come for him... won't they? He's not sure how they'll know where to look for him. Voorl is not exactly an obvious location. But if he could somehow send them a message... Ha, what is he even thinking? There's nothing he could use to send a message with. Even his ring and his belt have been confiscated.

At least he's not going to die a virgin, he thinks and he laughs a little. He can be grateful to Joan for showing him what it's like to make love. Poor Laurie, though. Ryn will never have the opportunity to tell her the truth about what he did. He wonders if Joan will ever tell her. She'd be so hurt. The thought makes him want to cry.

He wants to scream out in frustration or punch the wall or just do something other than lay here in silence, but he's too tired. He hurts too much. It feels like it's been ages with these people, though he doesn't really know how long it has been. Keeping track of time has been impossible, even with a mind like his. Every time Nux used that machine on him, it was like his brain was being restarted and his internal clock is now terribly off kilter.

At least this cell has a cot and somewhat resembles a room instead of the inside of a metal water bottle. The door to the room is big and heavy, probably impossible to break out of. He lays for what feels like hours, just watching that door and considering it. Even if he could get himself out of this cell, he'd probably wait and try to get a better feel for the situation first. There could a guard posted outside of his door and he has no idea where he is or if there is any sort of ship he could hot wire to get him off this planet and back towards civilization.

Eventually, the heavy door opens and a Dominator steps inside. This one looks like he's of more importance than the ones who brought Ryn here. He's dressed smartly in a fine uniform and he observes Ryn with a critical expression. Ryn can't help staring at those vicious teeth.

“Scrawny little Coluan brat,” he growls after a moment. “You don't look like much. But you have some wonderful secrets stashed in that complex brain of yours, don't you?”

Ryn feels sick to his stomach. So it's to be interrogation, is it? Probably torture as well. That's one of those things Querl always told him to be prepared for. Ryn's head is full of important pass codes and blueprints and if anyone knows every secret corner on Legion World, it's him. But Ryn isn't going to tell them anything, no matter what they do to him. The problem is that with Nux's help, there's a possibility they can just rip the information out of his head.

“I don't care what you do to me,” he says as calmly as he can manage. He pushes himself into a sitting position, having regained a little of his strength. “I've already been tortured on the way here. I'll die before I do anything for you scum.”

The Dominator laughs, a chilling sound that makes Ryn shiver. “You have no concept of torture, little man. If I want to make you talk, there's little you can do to stop me. Little Legionnaires are not properly trained to withstand torture. The methods required are considered inhumane by your United Planets and are therefor illegal. You are a soft and spoiled child who will eventually succumb. And death will be something you can only wish for.”

“Spooky,” Ryn mutters. It's exactly the kind of thing that he'd expect a villain to say. Does this guy take acting classes or what? Still, he can probably follow through with his threats and Ryn is starting to feel a little insecure. If they force him to give away information that could hurt his teammates (or anyone, for that matter), he knows he'll never be able to forgive himself for his failure.

“You do have the option, of course,” the Dominator says, “of cooperating of your own free will. A being of your intelligence surely recognizes the futility of your current situation. If you have any sense of self-preservation, now's your opportunity to make things easier on yourself. Maybe you'll come out of this in one piece.”

Ryn pretends to consider this for a moment and then spits at the Dominator's feet. “Sprock you.”

His captor looks disgusted for a moment and thing shrugs his shoulders. “Very well. Have it your way, child.”

He turns and leaves, and the door shuts firmly behind him. Ryn is left once more in the dark.

–

Querl hasn't heard from Ryn in three days when he gets the call. He hasn't even considered that something might be wrong, knowing that his little brother is too much like him and has probably gotten wrapped up in some sort of project. Querl is not the type to worry, even in regards to Ryn – he leaves that to Lyle, who is far more attentive.

To say that he wasn't expecting a call from Rokk Krin would be an understatement, though he tries not to let the surprise show on his face when he answers. He's mildly embarrassed when he realizes that he has just answered a vid-call to one of his former coworkers while dressed in a kitchen apron. Rokk will never let him hear the end of it.

However, Rokk doesn't comment on Querl's attire. His face flickers onto the screen looking strained and worried. There are dark circles under his eyes. And before he even opens his mouth, Querl knows that the man is giving him bad news.

“Brainy... You might want to sit down.”

Querl grabs a kitchen chair and promptly collapses into it. “What's wrong with Ryn? Is he hurt?” He swallows back his fear and tries to gather himself. “Just tell me he's still alive, please.”

“He's MIA,” Rokk replies. “There's no reason to believe he has been killed but I can't promise that he's not hurt. I sent him on a mission to Colu – I shouldn't have, I knew better. I assume you remember Sharn Nux?”

“Yes, but she's dead,” Querl replies shortly. “Of course I remember, she nearly disemboweled me.”

“Her brother's still around. We had no way of knowing that it was a setup to get Ryn. Colu didn't even know. Nux abducted him and we have reason to believe Nux and Ryn, as well as a Coluan scientist named Furn, are on board a Dominator ship.”

Querl stands up and furiously kicks his chair over, letting out a cry of anger and fear. “Why did you let him go to that shit hole of a planet?! I never would have agreed to it if anyone had bothered to consult with me before shipping my son off on a high level mission he was in no way prepared for!”

He immediately regrets the action and presses his hand to his belly, worried that the outburst might have hurt the child.

“Brainy, are you...?” Rokk trails off.

“Pregnant again?” Querl snaps. He grabs the chair, rights it, and sits down again. Then he buries his face in his hands. “I can't... If something has happened to Ryn, I don't know if I can deal with it right now. Lyle's not home. Krin, you picked a terrible time to call me.”

“I didn't know what else to do,” Rokk admits. “Look, I have a team searching for Ryn as we speak and they've picked up a trail. They're on Rimbor now, though we have reason to believe that Ryn and his abductors are no longer on the planet. I'm going to keep you updated.”

Querl nods and uncovers his face. He takes a deep breath. “How long has he been missing?”

“36 hours,” Rokk replies, looking apologetic. “I didn't want to make something out of nothing if we found him and the situation was defused. At this point, I think it's time that we all prepare ourselves for the very real possibility that he has been injured or worse. Ryn's a veritable lock box of information that the Dominators are probably dying to get their hands on. I would guess that they've been trying to get it out of him."

“You think they're torturing him.” Querl takes another breath. “He doesn't need this. I should never have let him join the Legion. After everything else he has been through, this will push him over the edge, if you even find him alive.”

Rokk frowns. “That's something we'll have to worry about when we get him home. For now, let's focus on finding him. He could be just fine, Brainy.”

He wants to believe that but Querl knows that's not likely. If they find Ryn, they're going to bring him home damaged. He feels like crying but he won't do it in front of Rokk.

“Keep me updated,” he says, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Every step of the way, Krin. If I feel you're not handling the situation well enough, I will fly out there and oversee things myself.”

His former colleague laughs nervously, like he's slightly worried that Querl will follow through with his threat. Then he sobers and he nods. “I will, I promise. Don't worry, I'll find him as soon as possible. You can kill me for this after we bring him home.”

Oh, and Querl fully intends to murder him. Just as soon as he gets Ryn back.

Rokk closes off his end of the call and Querl follows suit. When he turns around, he realizes that Grace is standing in the doorway. By the expression on her face, he can tell that she heard most of the conversation.

The girl's lower lip trembles. “Mom? Is Rynnie okay?”

“I... I don't know,” Querl replies. He reaches out to her and gathers her into his arms. “They're looking for him. Don't worry, Princess, they'll find him and bring him back to us. There's no one I'd trust more to find him.”

Grace lets out a muffled sob, pressing her face against his shoulder. “What if they don't find him? What if he's hurt? He's probably scared and lonely and if something happens to him, I don't know what I'll do. Why couldn't he have just stayed home with us?”

How many times has Querl asked that same question? Joining the Legion has always been Ryn's dream and Querl wanted more than anything for him to grow out of that one day and choose a safe job. Ryn was smart enough that he could have interned with any company or worked in any lab, even at fifteen years old.

He hugs Grace tight and holds back his own tears so he can be strong for her. Later, when Lyle comes home, Querl will have his own moment of weakness. For now, he locks up his fears and anxieties and focuses on comforting his daughter.

Ryn is a strong boy, in some regards, but vulnerable in other ways. Being tortured or abused by his captors is bound to remind him of their mother and that can't be a good thing. Querl sees an image of Ryn with his mind's eye, slumped in the bathroom with his wrists bleeding on the floor. That was the only time Ryn ever tried to commit suicide but it still scared Querl to think about it. He'd only been seven years old at the time. Since then, Ryn has improved by leaps and bounds but if something sets him back again...

No, he won't think about it. He kisses the top of Grace's head and says, “Your brother is going to be fine. They're going to bring him home and then we'll make him stay with us for a while to make up for scaring us like this. Okay? Come on, I'll make us some tea.”

With his back turned to his daughter while he heats the teapot on the stove, Querl lets his resolve crumble for a moment and closes his eyes, trying not to imagine how his Ryn is out there somewhere, alone and maybe hurting. When he turns back around, he smiles at his daughter and tells her again that everything is going to be fine.

TBC


	12. Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the final installment of Up In the Stars. It's been quite a while but I finally wrapped up this chapter in Ryn's life. Don't worry, this isn't the last you'll see of Ryn and his friends. I'll be starting up the next story soon, so look out for "Earthside!"  
> Additionally, there is a new warning for this chapter, as it marks a darker turn in Ryn's life.

Ryn sleeps. It seems the Dominators are still arguing with Nux and they are all leaving him alone for the time being. It gives him an opportunity to recover, however little, and brace himself for their next attempt at breaking him. He has trained, a little, for withstanding torture and so he might be able to handle the physical abuse better than the attempted brainwashing. He drinks more water each time he wakes. It doesn't help the hunger he was now experiencing, but he can deal with hunger. That is nothing new to him.

Then Nux comes back, bursting into his cell and waking Ryn, wild eyed. The man looks disturbed, his expression stressed and his demeanor agitated. He slams the cell door shut behind him and turns to Ryn, who is gaping at him from his cot.

Nux advances on him, jaw clenched. "They want rid of me since I failed to reprogram you," he spits. "I'm not dying without the opportunity to put you in your place, you little bitch."

"I never did anything to you!" Ryn scoots back on the cot until he hits the wall and there is nowhere else to go. He doesn't know what Nux wants to do to him, but he doesn't want anything to do with the other Coluan. His very presence has Ryn on the edge of panic. "Hurting me won't bring your sister back!" 

"Don't even speak of her," Nux snarls and he falls on Ryn's cot, drawing back a fist and slamming it into Ryn's face. Ryn cries out and curls away from the assault but Nux grabs him by his collar and yanks him back up to punch him again and again. Ryn feels his nose crunch beneath Nux's heavy fist. Blood gushes down his face.

Ryn goes limp and just hangs from Nux's grip as the other man continues to punch him, moving from his chest to his middle, bruising ribs and causing Ryn to gasp for air.

"She should have lived! She was all I had in this world and your traitor brother killed her! I want him to know how it feels to lose a sibling. I want him to hurt like I did! I won't leave this unfinished, I will not let you escape my vengeance, even if it means I have to kill you before the Dominators kill me!" 

He drops Ryn on the cot again and Ryn just lies there, knowing he can't get out of this cell, so it's pointless to fight. Just a waste of energy. He's still recovering his breath when he feels Nux's fingers yanking at the zipper on his uniform. 

"No!" Ryn comes back to life, filled with unmanageable fear, and fights the man trying to pull off his uniform. Nux stops and punches him in the head, dazing Ryn and making him go limp again, his thoughts in disarray. 

When his mind clears again, Nux has his uniform most of the way off and is yanking at Ryn's boots. Ryn draws his leg back and kicks Nux square in the chest, knocking the other Coluan backwards. He tries to roll out from under Nux, but the man is one him again in an instant. Nux grabs Ryn by the hair and slams his head against the metal headboard of the cot until Ryn is close to passing out.

Ryn whimpers, unable to stop his attacker from divesting him of his boots and uniform. Then he is naked and vulnerable beneath the man. He can't begin to fight back now and he knows it's a lost cause. He tries to make himself shut down and block out what he knows is coming, but he's too afraid to drift away into his thoughts like he used to do when his mother beat him.

"I'll show you who's in charge here," Nux pants above him, flipping Ryn over to press his face against the cot with one hand. His other hand pushes Ryn's legs apart.

"No... Please... This won't f-fix anything Nux, please! Please don't do this to me, you don't - you don't want to do this! I'm not... Please, I never even knew your sister, I didn't do anything! You can't do this to me!"

"Shut up!" Nux hits him in the head again and then uses both hands to spread Ryn's legs and make room for himself. "Shut up, bitch! I'm not letting them take this from me!"

When the other Coluan forces himself into Ryn's body, the pain makes Ryn scream into the mattress. His fingers grip the thin blanket beneath him. It hurts so much and it's an ugly hurt that rips at Ryn's heart as well as his body. Despair settles on him. He has lost this fight. Maybe he has lost everything, because he's not sure he will survive this encounter. 

Is he ever going to see his family again?

It seems to take so long. Nux pants and grunts, his body covering Ryn like a death shroud. He shoves himself deep into Ryn, and it can't feel good for him, the friction is too much. Ryn can feel himself tearing inside, can smell the blood. There is nothing to ease the stretch. His body can't take this kind of violation.

The sound of skin slapping against skin fills his ears. He finds himself thinking of something Querl said to him years ago. Sometimes people use sex to hurt other people. This isn't sex, he thinks. It's nothing like what he did with Muse. This is just pain and humiliation.

Nux finishes in him and collapses on top of him, spent. Beneath his attacker, Ryn quietly cries into the blanket.

After a few moments, Nux pulls away from him and stands up. Ryn doesn't move as the other Coluan redresses, still reeling. He can't seem to control his racing heart. Is Nux going to kill him now? He expects it when the man walks back over to him. Nux grabs him by the arm and pulls him off of the cot. Ryn's legs feel like jelly and and pain shoots through him but Nux begins to drag him toward the door.

"I... I can't! I can't walk!" Ryn begs. It feels like every step is deepening his wounds. He feels something trickle down his thighs and he can't make himself look because he knows what he will see. "Please, please, don't kill me. Don't hurt me anymore!"

Nux drags him out of the cell and down a hallway. When Ryn sees where they are going his panic rises and he lets his entire body go limp, making himself deadweight in Nux's hold. He will not make this easy for his captor. Nux will not put him back in that machine without a fight.

"Get up!" Nux shrieks at him and then just hefts Ryn over his shoulders and carries him the rest of the way. Ryn wriggles and writhes, trying to pull free while the man tries to force him into the chair. The restraints lock Ryn's hands down. He tries and fails to duck away from the helmet but Nux forces it back onto him anyway.

"No! Let me out of this thing!" Ryn screams, all composure lost by now. He can't deal with this again, not right now. "Don't do this to me! I will kill you, I swear I will kill you if you do this to me again! I will kill you, Nux! Don't do it again, you bastard, don't you dare! It will kill me! And then the Dominators really will kill you! I'm your only bargaining chip!"

The machine starts up and the pain consumes him.

\--

"Cosmic Boy, this is M'Onel. We are en route to Voorl. Sources say Nux will be there, as well as the Dominators. We will have to report the poor protection of a pristine planet to the UP. ETA is three hours."

"Copy that, Legionnaires. We await further report to mobilize a medical team here."

Rokk is sweating, but he tries to keep his expression authoritative. The Dominators are always bad news and any time Brainiac 5 had ever dealt with residents from his home planet, it had ended in Brainy nearly dying. The Coluans didn't mess around. If they wanted someone dead, they tried their damnedest to see it through. 

He remembers when Ryn was kidnapped by his mother, years ago, and Rokk and Garth had searched for the boy and found him on his mother's ship. Ryn had been so small then and Rokk had been so afraid for him, certain they would find him dead. That old fear starts to return and he pushes it down. He can't allow this to compromise him. A Legionnaire's kid was out there and Rokk was going to get him back. He couldn't fail.

He pushes the comm button. "Legionnaires, this is Cosmic Boy. Medics should be ready for intake within the next eight hours. Everyone should remain calm. There is a situation but it is being handled. I will keep you informed when I know more."

Cub called in right on cue, and he didn't look any happier than he had a while ago. "Cosmic Boy, this is Ultra Kid. I'm assuming you've found Brainiac 6?"

"Negative, but the away team is headed to Voorl. They think there's a Dominator base where they would have taken the prisoner. They estimate they will be there in about three hours. If Brainiac 6 is there, they will bring him home."

An incoming call from Lyle Norg. Rokk puts Cub on hold and accepts Lyle's call, bracing himself for the worst.

"Hello, Invisible Kid. I'm assuming Brainy told you about our situation?"

"Tell me you know where my son is, Rokk. Brainy is a disaster, Grace is crying in her room and I cannot keep this family together if I don't have any news for them. Brainy will not recover if he loses Ryn. He just won't be able to take it."

"I know, believe me," Rokk promises, letting his leader face fall to show how exhausted he really was. "We think we have his location. The team is headed there now but it will be a few hours before we hear back from them. He might be okay. It's not unthinkable. We've all been held captive before."

Lyle visibly cringed at some memory that triggered and he pressed his mouth into a thin line. "It's a wonder more of us didn't die, Rokk. We were stupid kids back then. I know I thought I was done more than once."

"I'm just trying to stay positive." Rokk finds his coffee carafe and takes a long drink of it. It's cold but he needs the caffeine. "It's possible we will find him hurt. It's just as possible that we will find him unharmed."

"And just as possible you won't find him alive." Lyle's tone is dark. "What do you think they wanted him for?"

Rokk paces the length of the floor.

"I think the Coluan, Nux, has an agenda against Brainy. Sharn Nux was his sister. As for the Dominators, who knows. They could want him for information. Maybe they're trying to make him build something for them. It could be a hostage situation. It could be just about anything."

"How long has it been since you slept?" Lyle asks with a knowing tone. He sighs when Rokk just shakes his head. "You can't run yourself into the ground, Cos. How is that gonna help Ryn?"

Lyle knows what it's like to be in charge during stressful situations. He's right, of course, Rokk knows that he should be getting at least a little rest, but he can't make himself sleep. His mind won't leave him alone until all of this is resolved, one way or another.

"Tell Brainy that I will bring Ryn back. Try to keep him sane in the meantime."

"Easier said than done. Invisible Kid, out."

The call ends and the screen turns dark. Cub's call is still on hold. Rokk cancels it and sits down at the desk. He puts his head in his hands and he waits.

\--

The away team fights their way into the Dominator base, having the element of surprise on their side. It's not a large base and there are only a few Dominators there. It takes little enough time to round them all up and they have the Dominators and one Coluan scientist in custody in short order. Only Nux and Ryn remain unaccounted for.

Umbra leads her team to the base's cell block, ready to wrap it all up, but she is utterly unprepared for the sight that greets her when they reach it.

She disables Nux efficiently when the crazed Coluan launches himself at them. M'Onel shackles the man and steers him back out of the room. Umbra stands frozen in place, her eyes locked on the boy she has considered her nephew for years.

Ryn is shackled down in a horrendous looking contraption, his head lolling to the side and encased in some sort of headgear. The boy is naked and bloody, and Umbra chokes back bile when it rises in her throat. Ryn isn't moving. Is he dead?

Her teammates brush past her, regaining their senses before she does. Apparition and Chameleon dismantle the apparatus Ryn is trapped in and pull the boy free to settle him on the floor. He still doesn't rouse. Apparition checks his pulse.

"He's still alive," she announces and the team lets out a collective sigh of relief. "He's just unconscious but it looks like he's lost a lot of blood. We need the stretcher, M'Onel, we need to get him back to Legion World for treatment posthaste."

The stretcher is retrieved and the four of them strap Ryn into it. Umbra brushes the boy's hair with her fingers, noting the circle shaped burns on his scalp from whatever they hooked him up to. Chameleon follows her gaze and scowls. 

"Brainy wasn't much older," he says with a grim tone. "When his mom tried to kill him, I mean. When she electrocuted him. I thought we got there too late at first. And he was in that chair for months."

Umbra nods. She remembers those days. And then after, when they'd been stranded together. It isn't a time she wants to relive. Not right now, looking at one of the kids, just a little boy in her eyes. 

"Let's get him home," she says at length. "He's still alive, at least."

She steps away from her team to contact Cosmic Boy while they move the Brainiac kid to the shuttle. 

"Cosmic Boy, this is Umbra. We found Brainiac 6. Have a team of medics ready from potential brain trauma and damage, some broken bones and bruising and severe trauma from sexual assault. We will be dropping off the kid and then taking prisoners to Takron Galtos for processing."

"... Copy that, Umbra. We will be ready for you."

\--

Joan manages to mingle with the medics unnoticed, knowing it is his best chance of seeing Ryn. The medics are tight lipped, however, and won't tell him what they know about Ryn's condition. He can't stand all this waiting. It has been days but it feels like years. 

The away team arrives and unloads Ryn on a stretcher. Joan pushes forward, determined to see his friend. 

A sound of anguish escapes him when he sees Ryn's exposed body. His throat closes up and   
he can't speak. It looks bad, maybe worse than he could have imagined. The other boy is covered in blood and bruises. His golden hair is patchy and coarse. And his eyes are closed, giving him the appearance of sleep. 

"Is he alive?" he calls out. No one answers him. So he tries again, louder. "Will someone please tell me if he's alive?!"

Warm hands settle on his shoulders and steer him away from the scene. Cub puts an arm around him and murmurs, "he's still alive, kid."

"But he's not moving. He's just lying there. Where is all that blood from?"

"He's going to be alright," Cub says. "The medics will patch him up."

Joan lets Cub lead him away to watch from distance. They stand together, apart from the scene. 

"What did they do to him?" he asks, his voice breaking. "Please, I have to know."

Cub sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Cos said he... Said he was assaulted. They had him in some kind of machine. And they... Well, Cos says it was probably Nux but... Someone forced themselves on him. He was raped."

"No, no, no," Joan whispers in horror. "Not Ryn."

Every muscle in his body quivers with the worry and fear of a room full of people. He can feel how afraid Cub is. People can't lie to him. He wishes they could. He wishes he could believe Cub when he says Ryn is going to be okay.

"At least he's alive," Cub says, as if that makes everything alright. "That's something, isn't it?"

Maybe it is, but Joan isn't so sure.

\--

Everything hurts when Ryn wakes up, so he assumes he is still in that sprocking contraption. He couldn't have been lucky enough to have died from his wounds. His eyes burn with tears and he clenches them shut, unwilling to look up and see Nux leering over him. He doesn't want to cry in front of that bastard again. Why doesn't Nux just kill him and be done with it? He has suffered enough now, hasn't he? Now that his body and mind have been equally violated?

Then he becomes aware of the soft surface he is lying on, the cushion against his cheek. He opens his eyes and finds he is looking sideways at the tubing of an IV that’s attached to his arm. He’s in a bed, he realizes, in some sort of medical facility. The white walls, at first blurry to him, swim into focus and he knows where he is. This is medbay on Legion World. 

He should feel relieved, but sorrow sits heavy on his heart. He didn’t die and he’s back with the Legion. Now comes the part where the doctors ask questions and poke and prod him and medicate him within an inch of his life. Now he’ll get sent to another shrink, someone else who thinks they can help him, and the shrink will ask him if he wants to kill himself and Ryn won’t know the answer to that.

Worst of all, he’ll have to face his teammates, his friends, his family, and he knows he won’t be able to stand the way they will treat him.

He looks up when he hears footsteps, and looks into the face of a medic he doesn’t know. Ryn doesn’t pay attention to much about him except to make sure the man isn’t really Nux back to torment him some more. 

“Brainiac 6, I see that you’re awake.” The medic’s voice is soft. “I need to ask you a few questions. Can you tell me your full name?”

Ryn refuses to make eye contact. He mumbles, “Ryn Dox.”

“Good, now can you tell me where you are?”

“Medbay on Legion World.”

He’s still a little disoriented but he’s regaining all of his faculties now, though there’s still a curious ringing in his ears. Even that is starting to fade. He rubs his fingers against the coarse hospital sheet covering him. He doesn't have anything on beneath it. 

"What's the last thing you remember, Brainiac?"

Ryn's throat closes up and for a minute he can't breathe. He moans under his breath and closes his eyes again, hoping to communicate his unwillingness to discuss what landed him here. 

"Do you remember being abducted?" the medic asks, as if it might jog Ryn's memory if he gives him a hint. 

Ryn nods.

"And do you remember what happened to you after that?"

Another nod.

The medic frowns a little. "Can you tell me how you received the burns on your scalp?"

This time, Ryn doesn't nod. He just opens his eyes.

"They... Nux, that is," Ryn clears his throat, surprised at how hoarse he is. "Nux had recreated some ancient Coluan technology that was once used to brainwash the population of Colu. It was used on my ancestor, Braniac 2, but was ineffectual on him. As it turns out, it's ineffectual on me too. But it sprocking hurts."

"I see." The medic gives him a sympathetic smile. "Well, Brainiac 6, my name is Dr. Merren and I'm going to be taking care of you while we get you back on your feet. Your family is on their way and you will see them soon, but before that we have to patch you up. We will be doing some preliminary brain scans to make sure there was no lasting damage, but you are awake and aware, so I am confident we won't find anything serious."

Ryn cringed at the mention of brain scans. He wasn't so confident that there wasn't any residual damage. That final time had been much worse than Nux's previous attempts. He was glad he'd blacked out. He didn't want to remember all that pain.

For a moment, there was silence. Ryn kept waiting for the other shoe to drop - for Dr. Merren to address the elephant in the room. He knew it was obvious to anyone who saw him. 

"I'm sorry to have to ask you about this, Brainiac 6, but do you remember being sexually assaulted while you were being held against your will." Dr. Merren really does look like he regrets having to ask. The pity is all over his face.

"Yes," Ryn whispers, his voice going out on him. He can't look at the medic so he stares at his hands instead. "Nux assaulted me."

"We need to give you an examination. We want to make sure that you're okay and we also need to document your injuries. I'm going to be conducting the examination myself, or I can bring in a colleague if you prefer a different gender medic to examine you."

Ryn shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I don't have a preference. I'd rather just get it over with."

Dr. Merren is efficient and quick with the most invasive part of the examination. It's all over in about twenty minutes but it still makes Ryn feel sick. There will be a medical log about this that details every part of what happened to him. How many times is he going to have to relive it? He will have to write a report himself as well. Maybe typing it will be easier than speaking it. 

When the medic is finished, he leaves, letting someone else through the door before he closes it and leaves Ryn alone with his new visitor.

Cub pulls a chair over to his bedside and sits down. “How are you doing, Baby Brainy?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ryn mumbles. He stares at the wall past Cub’s shoulder to avoid eye contact. He can’t stand to look his teammate in the eyes right now while his skin is still crawling from the examination. 

“I respect that, man, I do. But I have to take a statement. I thought I should be the one, to make you a little more comfortable.”

Ryn isn’t sure what the most ridiculous thing about this is; if it’s the fact that he just endured an invasive exam only to find himself in for a round of questioning afterward, or that Cub thinks he could do anything to make Ryn comfortable right now.

“I can’t talk about it yet, Ultra Kid.” Ryn dries his eyes with the back of his hand. “Come back later. Next year, maybe.”

Cub leans forward and locks gazes with Ryn. “Just tell me that Nux raped you, Ryn. Tell me that he raped you and tried to hijack your brain with that crazy machine. I’m not asking for details right now. I just need to file your case against him.”

It’s like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. Ryn can’t catch his breath. His gaze shifts away from Cub. He stares at the floor instead. He takes slow, deliberate breaths until his breathing evens out.

He swallows a hard lump in his throat. Can he say this out loud? It doesn’t seem right. Closing his eyes, he focuses on all the aches and pains in his body. Whether he wants to admit it to himself or not, Nux assaulted him. He doesn’t want that crazy sprocker going free. 

“Yeah, Cub. He ra… he r-raped me, and he put me in that… m-machine and… hurt me. He hurt me.”

There’s a long silence between them but Ryn can’t bear to look at Cub, so he doesn’t know what the other legionnaire might be thinking. He hears a shaky intake of breath, and realizes that Cub is choking back a sob.

He opens his eyes and stares at his friend. Cub has his face hidden behind his hand. 

“I, uh… I better take this to Cos,” the older legionnaire says at length. “You just focus on getting better, Baby B. Your family will be here soon. And, uh, Muse has been asking to see you. Can I let him in?”

“No,” Ryn says, his voice clipped. “I can’t see him right now. I need some time alone.”

“Yeah,” Cub says, “I get that.”

As Cub rises from his chair, he reaches out a hesitant hand to pat Ryn on the shoulder. Ryn keeps his expression composed and does not flinch.

Alone with his thoughts, Ryn wonders if he is the first legionnaire to be raped on a mission. He’s never heard of it happening before. Of course it would happen to him. He’s not meant to be here. All this time, he’d been fooling himself into thinking he was strong enough to handle this, but he isn’t strong enough. He’s nowhere close.

He cries himself to sleep, his face buried in his pillow.

\--

Lyle Norg’s face is ashen as he walks his husband and daughter toward Ryn’s room in medbay. He keeps his arms around Brainy, afraid the other man is going to pass out at any moment. Brainy isn’t saying much and there’s not a lot Lyle can do to get him to talk. As for Grace, well, she isn’t talking either. Not now, anyway.

When Lyle first broke the news to her, Grace had a lot to say on the matter. She’d screamed that it was all his and Brainy’s fault for letting Ryn join the Legion in the first place. That they didn’t care what happened to her brother. That she was so angry with them for letting him go. It really is their fault. Lyle knows it, and Brainy knows it too.

A medic greets them and explains that Ryn might be a little groggy from the medicine they gave him for the pain. The medic is a younger man with a thin face and his smile is strained. 

“I’ve been up with him since he came in yesterday,” the medic explains, noticing the way they’re all staring at his haggard appearance. There are dark circles under his eyes. “It’s been rough. He has a hard time going to sleep at all. Nightmares. But we’ve got him patched up now and he can go home soon.”

“Thank you,” Lyle murmurs to the medic. He nudges Brainy but his husband doesn’t say anything. Lyle forces himself to smile at the medic in return. “I just wish we could have gotten here sooner.”

Grace rolls her eyes at him from her post a couple feet away.

“I’ll give you all a minute,” the medic says and excuses himself. Then it’s only the three of them standing in front of the room to Ryn’s door. Lyle thinks he might never get up the courage to open that door. Then Brainy reaches out and opens it for him.

There’s a lump in Lyle’s throat that he can’t seem to clear. He leans against the doorway as Brainy slips out of his arms, shaken at the sight before him. It feels surreal, like he’s gone back in time and he’s back in that hospital on Earth and it’s Brainy in that bed, violated and broken down. He averts his gaze, even as Ryn opens his eyes to look at them.

“Querl,” he hears Ryn say, his voice small, breaking. “I’m s-so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean f-for this to h-happen and I… I’m sorry, I n-never should have gone on that m-mission, I knew you w-wouldn’t want me to and I just. I wanted t-to prove myself. I’m sorry, Querl, I’m sorry I m-messed up.”

Lyle puts a hand over his eyes and a pathetic attempt to keep back tears, or at least keep anyone else from seeing them. This was never supposed to happen to Ryn, not his baby boy. Why did he let this happen? Enough shit has happened to his family, over and over again, and this just isn’t fair. Worse, he can’t stand to look at his own son. The thought of seeing Ryn in that bed again, bruised and beaten, makes him sick to his stomach.

“Don’t apologize for this.” There’s a waver in Querl’s voice. “Why would you apologize for what someone else has done to you?”

“I shouldn’t have gone,” Ryn says again. “I shouldn’t even be here. Sprock, I th-thought I could be some kind of h-hero and I’m just a stupid… stupid k-kid.”

It’s time to man up. Lyle drags his hand across his eyes and looks back up to see that Querl has crossed the room to Ryn’s bedside. 

Querl reaches out and cups his hands around Ryn’s face. “You are a Brainiac. You’re my brother. And you were always meant to be a hero.”

Tears are pouring down Ryn’s face. He covers Querl’s hands with his own. “I didn’t know it would be like this, Querl. I didn’t know it could hurt like this. Is this how you felt? And I let her do that to you? I don’t know how you can stand to look at me.”

“You didn’t let her do anything,” Querl insists, holding Ryn’s gaze with his own. “That was so long ago, Ryn. You were just a child.”

He’s still just a child, Lyle thinks to himself. Sprock it, was he really just a baby like Ryn when he joined? He doesn’t remember being a child back then. He supposes he had to grow up too fast. But he thought he was doing his best to keep his own children from having to do the same.

Ryn looks over Querl’s shoulder at Lyle, his eyes wide and full of hurt and fear. His mouth trembles.

“L-Lyle,” Ryn whispers. It’s like he’s expecting Lyle to be able to fix this. There’s nothing that Lyle can do. He can’t go back and change it. Grife, wouldn’t that make things easier? Time travel is nothing to fuck around with, to begin with, and he can’t… Well, it’s best if he doesn’t think about time travel, given the Legion’s track record with it.

The sob that escapes Lyle in a stuttering breath lets loose a flood of tears, and Lyle sinks to the floor. He hides his face against his knees and cries like a little kid. 

“Daddy?” he hears Grace say. Her hand touches his knee. “It’s okay, Daddy. Rynnie is okay.”

Lyle knows he should be strong. He knows he should get a grip on his emotions and take care of his family, but he’s so tired. 

No, he thinks to himself, Ryn is not okay. He’s not sure Ryn has ever been okay.

\--

By the next day, Ryn is sore but the worst of his injuries are healed. And he has made up his mind. He’s going home with his family - and he’s not coming back.

He packs up his room alone, despite Querl’s offering to help him. Querl and Lyle are both awkward around him, and Grace can’t seem to make herself speak to him. Even so, they are still his family and if he can’t be in the Legion anymore, he owes them and moving back home is the only option.

Still, he’s not sure what he’s going to do with himself. Go to school, maybe, but he’s always found the prospect dreary and unappealing. Maybe he could do independent research instead. He can go back to his experiments that he left in Grace’s care. He could delve further into horticulture, maybe make a name for himself in the field. Maybe that will erase the stain of leaving the Legion in this manner.

A knock at the door breaks him out of his thoughts. He looks up as the door slides open.

Vega is standing in his doorway and Ryn can tell from the look on her face that she knows what happened to him.

“Hey, Ryn.”

“Hey,” he says and purses his lips into a thin line. He looks away. “It’s, uh… good to see you.”

“I came back as soon as I heard,” Laurie says as she enters the room. She tries to catch his gaze. He avoids her. “How are you, uh, feeling? Sprock, that’s… I mean, I know you probably don’t feel good, I shouldn’t have asked that. I… I was worried about you.”

Ryn looks at her at last and his stomach churns at the sight of the tears in her eyes. She shouldn’t be crying for him. He screwed her over, and what happened was his own fault for being such a sprocking idiot. And Ryn doesn’t want her to cry over him. He doesn’t want anyone crying for his sake. It just makes things feel even more hopeless.

“Yeah, well,” he says as he takes his spare clothes out of the wardrobe and packs them into his suitcase, “I’m okay, actually. Still a little sore but I’ll be good as new in a few days.”

Laurie looks around the room and seems to notice the bare walls and empty drawers. She frowns. “Why are you packing up all of your things?”

“I’m going home for a little while.”

“Oh. And after that?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to say.”

“You’re not coming back, are you?” She looks even sadder, if that’s possible. “Ryn, I can’t imagine what you must be going through but you should reconsider. This was your dream. We still have each other, I’ll be here for you.”

“Don’t say that.” Ryn slams his suitcase closed. He stares down at his hands. “You don’t know what I’ve done. I cheated on you.”

There’s a moment of silence between them and then Laurie says, “Oh, Ryn, you know I don’t care about that, and it’s not like you had a choice. That… That wasn’t cheating, you were hurt. It doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t matter to you.”

Oh, why can’t she take a hint? Ryn squeezes his eyes shut against the tears threatening to fall. He responds in a choking voice. 

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I cheated on you. With Muse.”

This time the silence stretches on much longer. He looks at her again. She has her hands balled up into fists at her sides, her face contorted, looking like someone just punched her in the gut. He can imagine how she feels. If their places were reversed, he wouldn’t forgive her either.

“So you’re just giving up?” she asks him, her own voice breaking. “On the Legion? On us?”

Of course he is. After all, he’s let her and the Legion down. But it’s not just that. He’s scared. There’s no way he can take on another mission after this, and what good is a hero who’s too afraid to be out in the field? And as for Laurie, well, he thought it would be harder to tell her the truth but it’s good to get it off his chest and now there’s this sense of finality, like things between them are over now, and he’s relieved. 

He looks down at himself, at the uniform he was so proud to put on when it was given to him. There’s the Brainiac symbol, which he’d thought to reclaim, but it seems like the title of Brainiac can never be anything but a curse. Nux never would have done that to him if he hadn’t been a Brainiac. 

“I still love you,” Laurie says. It’s the final straw.

Whirling around to face her, he fixes her with a glare. “You still love me? Are you an idiot? I cheated on you! I screwed around with Muse because I was mad at you for leaving. I was a selfish bastard and you wanna know why? Because that’s what I am. I’m not a good person. I’ve never been a good person! I’ve never been anything but a failure, and I deserve what I get. And if you think I’m anything other than that, you’re just… an imbecile!”

“Ryn!” The tears roll down Laurie’s cheeks. “Please, don’t say that to me. I’m not stupid and you are a good person. I know you!”

“No, you don’t.” Ryn feels like an ass but she needs to know the truth about him. He doesn’t deserve her affection. It’s better if she hates him and moves on with her life. Maybe she’ll find someone who actually cares about her and won’t treat her the way he did. “You don’t know me, you just have this notion in your head that I’m a great guy and I never did anything to make you think that. I clearly don’t love you, so why the sprock are you so determined to believe in some fantasy version of me? I’m not that guy. I don’t love you.”

She slaps him across the face, hard. The pain stuns Ryn for a moment. He makes no move to stop her when she turns and runs from his quarters, he just stands there with his hand pressed to his cheek. At last, he sits down on his bed and lets himself cry.

It’s all over now. He’s going home.


End file.
